Until now, I'm still problematic of where this could possibly lead us. Based on the doctor I consulted, once I give the information he wants, he may not want to go back to that past. He might lose some parts of his memories forever, and that's what I don't want to happen.
He deserves to know everything about his past but it takes too much time and patience for him to remember what happened in the past years.
I sighed, allowing my nerves to relax. It only helped little... or none, probably.
I swallowed hard when I noticed his small action. I held my breath in while I'm beside him.
He then slowly put the glass of rum on the table and leaned his back against the metallic chair comfortably.
"So, how did you know about my past?" His deep mellow voice was enough to make my heart shudder even if he threw his words fluidly.
I gulped and hugged myself more in fear.
"You have no plans of telling me the truth, am I right?" he asked, voice lowering a decibel.
I twisted my lips, not answering his qusetion.
He sat properly and reached for a glass of rum in front of him. He swirled the rum around together with the ice cubes clanking at each other.
"You entering Alessandra and mine's life was also not a councidence. You planned it from the very beginning," he muttered again and sipped his rum.
I gasped when he loudly placed it onto the table. He even blew a sharp breath and muttered a curse that made my lungs convulsive.
"My past has nothing to do with me. I won't force you to tell the truth."
I turned to him. He stared back at me with an intensity that made me shiver. I can't take that intensity, and so my eyes fell to the floor.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to mess your life now. I didn't have a choice but to pretend–"
"Fuck!" he cursed, making me zip my mouth.
"You pretended to be what?! You're making me feel confused, Emory! There's something about you that I don't fucking understand– and now you're telling me that you didn't intend to mess everything up?!" he spoke with a timorous voice.
My head remained down. I balled my hands into a fist. I know I can't convince him right now.
"There's a part of me is missing or something. I tried hard to remember everything after I met Sandra, but it wasn't easy..." He shook his head frustratedly.
"It's hard for me to take it all in. I don't know where to start. I don't know my name, I don't know where I fucking came from, my family, if I had siblings and parents. My memories are all crashing down my feet and no one was there for me... except her!"
I mentally prepared myself for the incoming bone-breaking pain. I thought I could, but I was wrong. The pain slowly seared through me as he spit out his words.
I finally lifted my head to look at his cold-piercing eyes. I swallowed hard, my regret for not telling him everything from the very start became even more evident.
"She's been there for me, she never left me in those times that I needed someone to be with me and understand me." He laughed gently as his expression remained cold.
I bit my lips hard. I wanted to speak but I fear that he'd counter it all after.
"I've said it already, my past has nothing to do with me. What I had in the past is not important to me anymore. I already decided to leave it all behind."
I tasted his words. My heart trembled in shock. Biting my lip never hindered my tear to fall from my eyes.
If only I can bring back time. I should've looked for him more, and tell him everything when it was still early.
"I'm sorry..." I didn't have any confidence in my words. I was trying so hard not to cry in front of him, but it just kept on falling nonstop.
It hurts to know that he's noy interested on his past anymore. I feel sad about it, especially for his siblings that's still hoping for his return someday.
The room sank into silence, the wind being the only sound in the room. He held his glass once more and poured a drink before bringing it onto his lips.
"Now tell me, who am I? Who am I in your life?" He asked in a hoarse voice.
I stared at him directly onto his eyes. His eyes pierced right through my soul, seemingly telling me to confess everything although it's not important.
"Your real name is Hezekiah Grant and I'm... I'm your wife," I muttered subconsciously.
He straightened on his seat. He looked at me ruthlessly as if he wanted to swallow me whole.
"It d-doesn't matter, who am I to you right?" I said with heavy breathing.
My eyes returned to the dark ocean being kissed by the moon. I wanted to stand up because I felt like the information I gave him was enough to end the conversation.
But I can't because of his presence beside me. I could feel the warmth coming from his body. He was so close to me that I could hear his hot breathing.
I closed my eyes as I started to feel his long corded fingers caressing my cold cheek. He caressed it repeatedly until he heaved a sigh.
My heartbeat echoed continuously in my head that gave me warning signs all over my body. I was slowly loosing strength at the familiar warmth he's giving me.
"I have so much questions in my mind. I thought it will stay as questions in my head, until you came, Emory," he said softly.
He ducked to level our faces. His eyes slowly went to my nose and down to my lips.
"You're my wife..." he muttered under his breath.
I gulped at what he said. My heart throbbed wildly against my chest. He then moved closer, the dangerous glint in his eyes intensified. He gently lifted my chin and met with my gaze.
"I hate how you can pop into my mind and make me go crazy. Maybe it was your laugh, or your eyes. It could've been your hair, your voice or your personality..." His sexy plump lips move slightly. His head fell down for a moment, seemingly thinking of something.
"What ever it was, it made me feel damn confused..." he spoke in a hushed voice.
I started to melt, but his expression didn't show any big changes. He stared at me frigidly before choosing to let go of my hand and stood up.
"You should rest. We need to be early tomorrow," he said coldly. He turned his back on me and entered inside the room.
I was left alone, feeling my heart shattering into pieces. I thought everything will turn out fine after I told him about his past. I just really wanted to make things better, but I think it won't be easy.
Tears started forming at the corner of my eyes. I tried to stop it and stood up with almost no strength.
I tried to push myself to sleep that night. I didn't have an idea as to where Gabriel slept. It hurts to admit that he was in love with someone else and I was the only one who couldn't move on. I was the only one who was left with nothing but pain.
After a long cold night, the daybreak brought glimmers of warmth. The golden light softly caressed my bare skin. I got up and started fixing my things.
I realized, I only have few clothes. The only clothes left are walking shorts and a white cropped top. I took a quick bath and prepared myself for today.
I went to the veranda and met the early rays of the sun. I marveled at the glistening reflection of the sun on the ocean and a thrilling feeling of awe swept over me.
After a while, a knock made me snap out of my serenity.