The last two days haven't been easy. Ricardo went to Mexico that same night he walked out on me. I tried calling his line but it seems he had blocked my line.
I, on the other hand, have been crying for the past two days, regretting my irrational movement and kept wishing I had picked up his call.
School was boring to me, I couldn't eat well or think well, I totally lost my focus. The pain won't go away as his words kept repeating in my ear as the latest music.
"Hey liliana," I turned around to see Rich, he took a sit beside me in the cafeteria.
I didn't glance much at him before I turned my direction back to my food.
"I'm sorry for putting you in all this mess. I'm telling you he'd come around." Rich tells me.
Was that a word of comfort?
"He is not doing well too, I've heard from him already so no need to worry."
Wow! So he talks to Richard and not me!
That's because you were the one that kissed Richard lily.
I sank into my thoughts.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the plans sooner but Ric already came up with one and we were about to exhibit it the night you came to my house."
Wtf! Stupid me! They had everything planned out. Ric might have shown no signs of concern but he did care.
What have I done?
"Can...can...." I choked on my throat. "Can you please dial his number using your phone for me?" I tell him stuttering.
"Sure," he replied.
After two rings, Ric picks up, I go mute. I couldn't speak and I couldn't hear. My heartbeats were the only sound I could hear.
"Hello!" I hear that familiar voice I've been craving for days but couldn't reply. I drop the phone and walk out of the cafeteria into the restroom.
***********************************
Stupid maths assignment! I mutter to myself. I couldn't even understand a figure neither a word or mathematical signs.
"Surprise!" I hear my other favourite voice in this world, Juliana!
Once I saw her, my face lit up, I got off the bed and I engulfed her in a tight hug.
"Aww, she misses me so much!" She coos.
The tears began rolling down my cheek again, I nuzzled my nose on her chest as she cringed.
"What's wrong lily? Why are you crying?" She ask with so much concern as she begins using her thumb finger to wipe my tears.
I broke out in a loud tear now.
"I messed up Juli, i messed up!"
"Tell me already, you are scaring me." She demands with concern.
After wiping my tears with her thumb finger for a while, I began to narrate the whole story to her.
It was rare to get a facial expression from Juli whenever we talked but she gave me facial expressions this time around.
"When I said taking risks, I didn't mean to try kissing two best friends!" Juli exclaims before realising her action and trying to act cool.
"He took the risk and knew well that he was..."
I cut her off
"I didn't know he'd be there!" I exclaim getting up from the bed.
"And so? Sooner or later, he'd know and that'd be worse!" She tells me trying to keep her voice at bay.
"Fine! I messed up and I'm not feeling good about it. I thought you'd be able to understand and console me but you aren't doing any." I tell her trying to swallow the lump in her throat.
"Well, I am. The truth is bitter and I have to tell you the truth so that you'd be able to retrace and correct them."
She was right, if I needed to correct my mistakes, I had to listen and know where I did wrong.
"You don't try saving everyone, you save yourself first before saving anyone."
"You could have picked that call but your heart was torn. You felt guilty for leaving Rich unattended to and jumping into another relationship. You were undecided lily."
"Most times you have to choose one over another and if you don't, you will lose both. You lost Ric before realising he was your top priority." She sighs before continuing.
"It's never too late, all you have to do is show him and make him see that."
All she said makes sense, I didn't take Ric as a priority until I lost him.
I was undecided and irrational thinking of getting rid of my first guilt when i know It would only create another guilt in me.
I messed up real bad.
"Oh come on, it's okay, all is well."
"Let's go get ice cream, I crave for one." Juli tells me cheekily, making me laugh.
I needed an ice cream too, I needed one to help me melt down my pain. I also craved vanilla ice cream because I miss his lips. Those delicious flavours.
I will get you back my heart and that's a promise.