Let's break up, Cindy.
Cindy blinks when I said the words and she raised her brow. "Hat did you just say?" She asked like she had not heard me.
"I don't love you anymore, so let's stop now," I spoke, but my heart was calling me a liar.
Cindy smile and shook her head. "You are not being serious right now, you can't be, this must be one of your many jokes." She looks at my face and I was sure she could see the seriousness in it.
She shook her head and the smiles on her face disappeared. "You can't joke with this." Her forehead puckered. "Are you breaking up with me?"
I pressed down my lips, clench my fist under the table and exhaled softly, I can not watch Cindy crumble either, this was so difficult.
"As you heard," I said coldly.
"Why?" She leans close to the table and searches my eyes, but I made sure there was nothing to give away. "Tell me."
"I have nothing to say to you." I looked away and got up to leave but she got up and held my wrist.
The restaurant was quiet, we were the only ones in it, there was no music, everything seems to still for a while.
"Please Jeffrey, don't do this." She looked up at me and I saw her eyes became wet, my heart was crushed, if I stay a little longer I don't think I could be able to do it.
I fling her hands away from mine. "Can't you see that we can not be together!" I barked and I watch Cindy flinched. "Please, let's stop this Cindy."
"Then explain." She looks into my eyes and her eyes were filled with tears as they flow down her cheek. "You told me you love me, you said you would never leave say hurtful words to me."
She held my hands and shook her head as she taps her chest. "I am hurt by your words now, so please stop all these jokes."
I clenched my fist, I have said all those things, I have promised her, but do I have a choice right now.
I pushed her away from me and she fell to the ground. "Stay away from me." I turned and walk out of the cafe, my heart was broken into many pieces, I had hurt Cindy was all that run into my mind.
Shit!
I walked into my room in tears and anger, the scene of how I pushed Cindy plays in my head, I pushed down everything on the table and hit the wall with my fist in tears, I had just messed everything up, all the promises I had made.
“No!” I screamed at the top of my voice like it could release the hurt and anger I feel inside, my legs were weak and I gave in to them and crumbled to the floor, placing my hands on my head as I banged the back to the wall.
“Jeffery, what is wrong?” My mother rushed into my room, perhaps she had heard my voice and the things that had all crashed down.
“Just leave me alone!” I barked at her in anger and watched her flinch. “I want to be alone!” I closed my eyes as the flashbacks of each tear that rolled down Cindy's eyes came to my mind.
I am a fool, I am a crazy idiot, after making those promises, after saying I wouldn’t hurt her, I still, I don’t deserve Cindy, I am only causing her pain and hurt, I shouldn’t say I love her, I had no right to.
I ignored Cindy at school, once it was lunch I walked out of class in order not to talk to her, I have seen her staring at me in class, I have felt her gaze, but my mind was made up this time, I was not meant to be with her.
“Jeffery,” I heard Cindy call out as footsteps approach me, I ignored her and continue walking forward, but she ran ahead of me and stood at my front blocking my path. “Jeffery, let’s eat.”
I looked down at her flawless face, her eyes were glowing as they look up at my face with that sadness that was caused by me.
I closed my eyes momentarily. “What are you huh?” I shouted and her face turned pale. “Why should we eat together?” I asked her coldly and for a moment she was silent and her eyes were becoming wet.
The hallway was silent, so there was no one watching us, no one could see this, I wish I wouldn’t do this, not anymore, if she cries now I might not be able to keep this up.
“Don’t be like this Jeffery, if I have done something wrong then tell me and I will make amends.” She shook her head. “Just don’t act like this.” She raised her hands that were clasped together in her front. “I am sorry if I have wronged you, Jeffery.”
I felt my lips quiver and I pressed them together, Cindy’s eyes wobble as she searched my eyes with her eyes filled with tears that were about to fall. A knot rose in my throat, I clenched my fist and exhaled sharply.
“Just get the hell out of my sight!” I turned to go but she was too stubborn to give it up, she stood at my front again, her eyes wide and her brow creased, her face pale and pain written all over them.
“I don’t get it.” She said in a hoarse voice. “it was just two days ago we went on a date and we spoke yesterday at school.” She bites down her lips and swallowed hard. “I tried to think if I had said something wrong, but I didn’t, Jeffery…” She sniffled.
“Don’t you get it?” I asked icily. “I toyed with you all these while and played football with your feelings.” I made a little cold chuckle. “I hate you, Cindy.” I curled my lips upwards and look down at her face, but she shook her head.
“You are lying to me, I know you are lying.” She said in a loud voice and I saw her fold her fist and then came the tears that had been lingering in her eyes, they rolled down her cheek and my eyes traced them as they drop to the floor and my heart crushed.
“Just stop!” I shouted, also feeling warm tears roll down my cheek. “Don’t follow me!” I pointed my finger at her and turned my back at her to leave.
“Jeffery, I have not eaten because I hurt so much I also know you did not eat because you regret your decision of hurting me.” She told me softly, she must know me so well, but I had to prove to her that she was wrong this time.
“I am totally fine.” I looked at her and smiled. “I ate peacefully last night and even this morning, so just get lost Cindy, I am tired of playing with a toy so I am disposing of it.” I sized her up and walked away.