Thea's Point of View
Even though my eyes appeared to be functioning normally, the paper I was holding was abruptly taken away from me, and as I followed that glance, I noticed the horrified expression on Craig's face. I tried once more, but this time I kept quiet out of fear that Cray may wake up.
Because he was presumably anxious about what I might do, he probably found it challenging to keep up with what he was about to say. As a result, he may have been in a rush to enter. What exactly is it that you want me to say? I cannot fathom what my eyes are witnessing.
"What's the point of keeping that around?" I asked him while making a tangible expression on my face hoping he would answer me directly. However, he didn't say anything and ignored that he saw me waiting, so I continued calmly by adding, "why do you still have the divorce paper?"
Because I toned down my tone of voice, I anticipated a response from him, but he remained mute. My thoughts were occupied by much more than anger, astonishment, and disbelief. Why didn't he tell me about it? Despite my presumption that we had been legally separated for a considerable time, we spent most of the day together. He followed me out so we could converse more freely and not have to raise our voices.
He was the first to speak after closing the door. "I'm not capable of it," he declared, "I'm sorry." His reaction did not surprise me. I turned my back on him even though he was still there and was refusing to hand over the documents. I'm not interested in hearing his explanation, yet at the same time, I do want to listen to it.
When I already knew the answer to a question, "Why?" was always the most pointless inquiry I could ask. I do not doubt that Craig still loves me, but I think he's struggling to preserve his balance to avoid stumbling over something that he is making an effort to respect the decisions I make. Because I knew he was waiting for me to offer to open up to him, he refrained from asking about our child. My chest constricted because he had done nothing but understand me from that point on until now, and I'm not sure if I could understand him because it felt like all I did was wait for him to tell me everything. I'm unsure if I could understand him because all I did was wait for him to tell me everything.
"Because I can't do it ... I've done nothing in my whole life but love you. You can ask me for anything but not divorce because that's all I have that I can still tell to myself that you still carry the last name I gave you. I don't want to think that you've only been mine once. Is it cruel of me to ask that to you?" I turned to him after he told me that and saw him smiling in pain.
"You know what you did to me, Craig! Do you think I just made a joke? You're the first person to know how much I want to stay by your side! How dare you say those words! Not just a simple joke happened to me for the past two years! To this day I still carry that!" Large beads of tears began to fall from my eyes. "You don't know how many days I haven't slept. Questioning if something is missing? Didn't I show everything?"
"Because you didn't let me explain!"
"For what? Isn't it enough to see you naked in our room while lying on top of another woman? NO. TO YOUR EX!" My voice raised, and I was out of breath. I used to avoid this, so we don't get into a quarrel. "Don't give me that bullshit. Accident or not, you know, you're wrong!"
"What about you? Did you listen to me? Do you still have an urge to listen to me? Or in the past two years, your heart has completely closed and turned to stone?" He smiled as if he was very hurt.
I averted my gaze because I didn't want to see him look like that. I wouldn't say I like the old Thea to come back. A sorry, a hug, just a plea that Craig shows, and I don't have the empire I built for myself again. Yes, I still love him, but I will not return to him just because we have Cray.
I didn't respond and was going to go inside when he abruptly grabbed my hand. I immediately pushed him away, but he drew me back and let go of the papers because he caressed my head and kissed me passionately.
"Mmm." I pushed him hard, but he held my lips tightly. He quickly put his tongue in my mouth when I was about to breathe and open my mouth.
"Ah."
Because of what he did, I was slowly getting carried away. His kisses suddenly softened. I just closed my eyes and let him do what he wanted. I don't want to admit that I miss his kisses and caresses. I wrapped my hands around his neck and was ready to be carried away however …
“WHAAAAAAAAAA!”
We ran together into the room when Cray cried. I don't know if he saved me or disturbed me. I want to beat myself up for the thought.
When we saw Cray, he went back to sleep again. Craig and I looked at each other. I don't know if I was the only one who felt awkward, but I didn't want to spend more than we did earlier, so I walked quickly and lay next to Cray immediately. There is only one bedroom in the condominium, so I don't know where he will sleep.
It's too early to go to sleep. We haven't even had dinner yet, but I look like a statue when he walks onto the bed …
And lay and hugged me from the back.