"I do not want to waste my time on that, Vicky and worse of all, I do not know if it can be with Kyle," I told her rather slowly lowering my eyes.
"Do you not want Alex and Sandra to have a whole family, I mean, with their real Mum and Dad?" She asked searching my face, "I know that you do not know this, but I have overheard Alex and Sandra talk about it a couple of times, they wished their dad would come back for them, that is one of the reasons why I have always insisted that you look for their dad, but now that they have him, please try and make their wish come true," Vicky said again, still pleadingly.
"I mean, it is not as if you have an existing relationship or that you are in love with someone else, if that were to be the case, I would not be bugging you like this," Vicky said again.
I stared at her wishing it was that easy for me to give it a try, but I think I would still find a way to give my kids what they want even if I do not marry their dad, Kyle, I said within me.
"Look, I know why you are talking to me like this," I told Vicky, if I know her well, I know that she is using Alex and Sandra to try and convince me because she knows that I love them so much, she wants nothing but to see me settled and my future secured, I know that she thinks I can have that by marrying Kyle because of his wealth and that is not what I want, I can not just marry him because I want a secured future.
I know too that Kyle would want me to marry him because he may probably think it is the best way to pay for what he had done to me in the past, or because he feels pity for me, or even because he wants to marry the mother of his kids, and there is still Sonia, what if Kyle wants to marry me because he wants to completely get rid of Sonia or whoever his parents want for him.
"And what do you think is the reason for me to want you to marry Kyle?" She asked peering at me.
"Look, I know that you care about me Vicky, and I know how much you love me, I mean, if not for you I may not be alive today, together with Alex and Sandra, and I am thankful and grateful to you for that, but I can't live my life the way you wanted, Vicky, it is not that simple," I told her rather calmly.
"If it were, I would have done that a long time ago, but I do not feel any urge to have such a relationship with a man so I guess that life is not for me..." I told her instead.
"Why don't you try opening up your heart so that you can love again especially now that you will not have to worry so much about Alex and Sandra's upkeep money," Vicky asked sounding and looking like she is getting angry because of what I just said.
"Now you have told me one of the reasons yourself, Vicky," I told her referring to what she just said.
"I do not feel the need for that, Vicky, even though Alex and Sandra have their dad now with them and they are well received by his family, I will still stick around until they are able to take care of themselves," I replied her.
"So what do you intend to do with your life then, what are you going to do when Alex and Sandra begin to live their life and would not need you sticking around them Much?" She asked furrowing her brows at me sounding like my Mum.
"Well then, I think I will have to go back to school if I have the money so that I can get a degree and be the chef I had always wanted even though not a famous chef," I told her rather calmly this time.
"Have you stopped to think what the reason is that Kyle all of a sudden wants to marry me?" I asked her so that I can draw her attention to that too, it is obvious she is not thinking about that.
"What is he has a reason behind wanting to marry me? Have you stopped to think about that?" I asked again peering at her this time.
"To me, I think there is a reason why he would suddenly want to marry me and that reason I do not think it is Love," I said to her again without waiting for her to say anything because she looks like she does not agree with me.
"Do not worry too much about me, Vicky, I am going to be just fine, and everything will turn out fine," I told her.
"What if I had decided to be a nun, or what if I was a nun, would you still pressure me about having a man?" I asked her trying to be funny.
"You must be out of your mind, Kim," Vicky told me almost immediately, " the truth is that you are not a nun, and you were not a nun or had neither decided to be a nun if that were the case then, that would have been a different story, I would not be talking to you about having a man then," Vicky replied.
"You see, there, life is not all about having a man," I told her teasingly again.
"You must be crazy now, Kim," Vicky told me, letting out a weary smile.
"Uhhh... I love you too," I told her instead just the way she used to say to me teasingly sometimes.
"Come on, Vicky, I cannot believe that you pulled me out here the way you did just to tell me this, here I was thinking that it was something extremely important," I told her.
"It was extremely important to me, it still is, and I know it is too for Alex and Sandra, even Jimmy would agree with me," she replied.
"Jimmy would agree with you because you too are soul mates..." I said to her teasingly again.
"Do not worry, Alex and Sandra will be alright," I said to her again taking her hand before she would say something else, and leading her back inside.
I know Kyle will be waiting to talk to me about it and I also want to make things clear between us...