Clara
Father bought me a dress dress to wear on Liam's party tomorrow. I don't know how time has gone do fast but it has been almost two weeks since I last saw Damien. Mentally, I haven't recovered well. Physically, I think I am getting sickly every morning.
I know I should inform someone about how weak I have been feeling lately but I should be able to handle this on my own. If I tell dad or Jason, they will call all the skilled doctors and check up on me but I don't want all that attention over such a small matter.
It is not like I have been having a strong fever or terrible stomach and back ache. I just feel sickly. I think it is all because of all the depression and stress that I have been going through. I think I am going to be fine in a matter of time.
I don't want to miss Liam's party tomorrow. I just want to be out and have fun that I haven't been able to have in a long while. I just want to get out of my room and this house for once and have a good night. Maybe I will be able to forget about all my problems for a bit and have the night if my life.
Emily told me that her parents and her mate, Matt were invited. Ofcourse I they hard to be invited. Maybe Matt will let me have Emily for some time so that we can have some fun before he keeps her all to himself. Maybe I will be able to meet some new friends and get to talk to some new people other than Jason, Emily or father.
Now I have a strong urge to go to that party. I think it is what I need to get loose after all this stress and weeping. I am going to make sure I make the most out of it.
After promising myself to be a party animal tomorrow and admiring my new dress, I hang it carefully in the wardrobe. I take a deep breath and sigh. My eyes land on the dress that Jason bought me for his engagement party.
That dress reminds me of Damien and how he stripped it off my body that night... I just can't help it! I can't stop thinking about Damien. Everything I see just reminds me of him!
I don't sit and cry anymore. I think I am starting to get used to the depression. I am learning to live in it. This is my new life. The emptiness, the sadness, the misery, this is what I have now.
I close the wardrobe and walk out of my room. I already know the plans for tomorrow. Father, Jason, Riley and I are supposed to leave at the same time. We are going to be driven to the Halfmoon pack, to the venue of the party. Everything has been set and all that is remaining is attending the party.
I walk into the kitchen hoping to find Miss Carina so that I can ask her to prepare me something that I have been craving to eat. Only she knows how to prepare it so well. Mom liked it a lot so she used to prepare that dish more often.
I haven't had the dish in a long time. I am also wondering why I want to have it so bad right now. Anyway, who cares. At least I have got an appetite to eat something after such a long time. I should utilize the opportunity and eat whatever I want.
Lucky for me, Miss Carina is in the kitchen. I didn't have lunch today. I just didn't feel like eating anything at that moment and now I only want to have one specific dish.
When I tell Miss Carina about the dish, her face lights up with a smile. She first checks the pantry for the ingredients and then tells me that she will prepare the dish for me. I cheer at her so that she can make it quickly.
I just want to have the food so bad. The aroma itself makes me feel so excited. When she finishes preparing the dish, she serves it on a plate and gives it to me. She keeps the remaining one just incase I need some more later.
I down onto the plate of food and eat like I have been starved all my life. I won't deny the fact that I haven't had a proper meal and eaten to satisfaction since the last meal Damien prepared for me. I miss him and his cooking so much. Even the food reminds me of him. Now I am going to cry. I don't know why I am feeling so emotional all of a sudden.
After finishing my plate of food, I head outside for some fresh air. I don't feel well inside. Is it because of the food I just ate? Maybe I just ate it too quickly I forgot to chew if properly.
I should probably go upstairs to my room and rest for a while. I climb up the stairs to my room but the churning in my stomach doesn't stop churning. When I enter the room, the churning doesn't seize. I immediately run to the bathroom and I vomit all the food that I just ate into the toilet.
Why would this happen? I don't normally have such reaction food and I am sure it was not food poisoning.
Then the realisation hits me like a train!
What? No, it can't be! But why not? We never used any protection.
Oh, my goodness!
I try to recall the last date of my period. Umm... I hadn't met Damien. Shit! It is almost two months since then. Oh, my god!
I can't believe this! A baby!
Okay, I need to calm down. Umm... This could just be a mistake and I am probably over reacting about my period delaying. It doesn't usually delay for this long. This is not normal.
Oh, god! A baby! Damien's child! Our child! This is so hard to believe. I am so excited and anxious and scared at the same time. I am too shocked to even get on my feet and get out of the bathroom.
This is so amazing! I have never imagined this! Damien's child I my belly! I wonder if he will be happy to know about my pregnancy. I wonder if he even wants to have a child.
I don't want to be overly excited and only to find out that I am just overreacting about the situation. I need to prove it. Yes! A pregnancy test is what I need to do. That will prove if I am really pregnant.
God! What if I am not really pregnant? No, I need to be positive. That would be okay, right? I know that I won't feel the same after all this excitement. I need to test for the pregnancy now. I won't be able to rest until I prove it.
There is a clinic in the pack settlement, buy I don't want to raise any suspensions amongst the pack members. I don't trust anyone about this. I don't want anyone to know before I prove it myself.
I know where I can find a pharmacy in town. How do I get out of here without father knowing? I am going to sneak out. I won't take the car because father will demand to know where I am going.
I manage to get out of the house and sneak to the road. I take a taxi to town and luckily, find a pharmacy where I buy the test kit. I am offered help on doing the test but I refuse. I want to do it on my own so that I will be able to handle the results when I am alone.
When I reach home, I immediately run to my bedroom and lock the door. I take in a deep breath and then mentally prepare myself. I need to calm down so that I don't lose my mind out of anxiety.
I go to the bathroom and carry out the test, carefully following the instructions that were given to me. My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for the results to take effect.
Positive! Oh, my! This is so amazing! I am pregnant!
I jump up and down, shrieking with excitement. I have to look at it again and then cover my mouth so that I can scream without being heard.
My baby! In my head, I start planning the various things I can do with my baby. There is a lot of things to do.
Father!
What if father comes to know about it? It will be his first grandchild. Unless Riley is pregnant and she is keeping it a secret, which is very doubtable. Father hardly ever talked about grandchildren, unlike mother.
Maybe he would have been happy if the child's father wasn't his enemy. Why am I even jumping to conclusions? I haven't even told him yet but I am already assuming how he would react.
I am not going to tell anyone about the baby before I tell Damien. I feel like he should be the first person to tell this news. If he wants the baby then I will go ahead and tell everyone else. If he doesn't want it, then I won't tell anyone else about it.
No! I have to remain positive minded. But how am I going to meet Damien? Father will find out if I escape from home and go to his house.
I think I should be patient some more. The moon goddess will surely give us another chance to meet. I will share with him the good news and he will be happy for us. He will take me home and everything will be fine. I really hope so.
I finally find the courage to get out of the bathroom. I walk past the dressing mirror and look at myself. Many things are going to change from today. Whoa! I am going to be a mother! Someone's mother! That sounds strange, but not bad.
Emily will freak out when she finds out! Everyone will freak out. I don't care if the whole world freaks out as long as Damien is happy with the news.
I wonder if my dress for tomorrow's party still fits! God! My baby bump hasn't even shown yet but I am too excited right now. I can't help but run to my wardrobe to try it on. You know, just in case...