Clara
Today morning has been more of a robots' programmed morning. I walk up, had a shower, brushed my teeth, smelled Damien's shirt for over ten minutes, cried over the loss of him, sat down on the floor and drowned in thoughts.
Okay, maybe not robotic. Robots don't cry, they don't smell their mate's shirt and crave him. Ughh! They don't even have mates! Lucky for them, they don't have father's to drag them away from their mates!
My wolf has been off. She is too sad to even communicate with me. Well, for me, I am on the verge of running mad. I haven't been able to pull myself together. Trust me, I have every possible plan of escaping from here and running to Damien.
I am sure every plan could work, I could make it to Damien's place. It could work but it wouldn't be helpful to our current problem.
If I run mad, it will be father's fault. I have heard about and known many members of this pack and other packs who run mad after losing their mates. Some even die because of the depression of losing them.
My mate is alive, but I can't be with him. It feels like he is Forbidden. Damien is a forbidden fruit. Okay, I am soon losing my mind if I don't stop thinking a lot. I need. something to get my mind off all these thoughts.
All the novels I have here in my room are romance novels. They will all eventually remind me of Damien and I will end up crying. I have promised myself not to cry again because I want to be strong. I want to be strong for our relationship and for myself.
I don't want Damien to come for me and find that aI have lost my mind. He wouldn't want to take a mad woman to his home. I don't want to be a burden to him.
Thinking about going out of my room, makes me feel even worse. I don't want to run into father because he is the reason for all my misery. I don't want to run into Jason because he will suffocate me with questions which I am not ready to answer.
He has probably heard of the incident of my missing and then being at Damien's house. I don't know if he knows Damien or hates him but father does. Most of the pack members, especially the older ones know what happened between Damien and my father.
I don't want to talk to anyone at all. I just want to be alone but being alone hasn't done me any good so far. It has made me almost lose my mind.
If I run into Jason and Riley, I will feel bad because they are now engaged, which is something I don't think will ever happen to me. I don't think that father will one day let Damien and I be together and arrange such a fantastic engagement party for us like he did for Jason and Riley.
I have never felt jealous of what my brother has but I don't. If I Reject Damien and the moon goddess gives me a second chance of having another mate, probably father's preference, he would definitely give me away willingly.
I wonder if I could love my second chance mate like I love Damien? I don't want to try it out so I shouldn't even think of that. I shouldn't even be thinking about all this stuff!
I am getting out of this room, maybe I can find something to clear my head off all of these thoughts.
I head down the stairs slowly while looking around like a sneak. I am not escaping. I am just walking around the house. The same house where I have lived all my life. Why do I feel like I don't belong here? Like I am some kind of stranger?
Just because I haven't been in here for the last three days doesn't mean that the atmosphere has to change, does it?
"Clara?" Jason's voice calling me halts me in my tracks. Crap! I didn't want to run into him but at least it is not father.
I walk farther down the stairs towards Jason. I don't want to start assuming what he is going to say to me because I have been assuming a lot of things since last night and my head already feels heavy.
"Clara. Are you feeling alright?" he asks me when I approach him. Am I alright? I ask myself the same question. Under normal circumstances, I would have given him a beaming smile and replied 'Yes' with a firm voice but circumstances are nolonger normal. My normal vanished like long ago.
I just give him a plain node. I want to give him a small smile but my face is too stiff, my lips hurt when I stretch them.
"Are you sure?" he inquires while cocking his head to one side to study my facial expression. His eyebrows furrow together and he frowns in deep concern. I don't reply his question. I believe that the answer is obvious to everyone with eyes.
"I have heard about what happened. I am really sorry for being very negligent of you. You are my little sister and I should always keep a close eye on you but I was too consumed in a lot of things I didn't even realize that you had been kidnapped," he says and then runs his hands through his hair. He pinches his eyes shut and then gazes into my eyes.
"You know that I promised our mother that I would take good care of you before she passed away but I don't think I am doing a good job of keeping my promise. I am really sorry," he tells me.
"It is not your fault that I got kidnapped, Jason so don't blame yourself for what happened. I am okay as you can see. I don't have any broken limbs or wounds. I am safe and here," I tell him in the most nonchalant voice and then sigh heavily.
"You can't just say that everything is fine, Clara. You were kidnapped and none of us had any idea where you were. We didn't even know that you were missing from home! If that Vampire hadn't come to inform us, only God knows when we could have found out," he says
"Vampire? What Vampire?" I inquire. Of course it must have been a vampire that told them that I was kidnapped but who and when did he come here?
"They were three Vampires. They looked stranger but they came here yesterday afternoon. The leader told us that his name is Kieran," he replies.
Kieran? That name is so familiar. Why is it so familiar? I had the other woman, who followed Lazarus around, mention that name. Kieran! Ahah! Those Vampires that showed up at Damien's house and threatened that my father would ruin Damien's family when he finds out that I was at his house.
So those rogue vampires were working with Lazarus! How could they? They didn't look to be up to any good when they showed up.
"He told us that you had been kidnapped as a bait to catch that Vampire Damien. Then he got you and kept you at his place," he adds. I can see the way he frowns when he mentions Damien's name like it disgusts him. Does Jason also hate him?
"Damien is my mate. I hope you you already know that. I don't care what you or everyone here thinks about him. You have your mate, right? How would you feel if someone talked about Riley in bad way or did something to make her look bad?" I ask him.
"He is your mate?" he inquires with wide eyes and his mouth goes agape. What? He didn't know?
"I thought father already told you," I say, wondering how come?
"No, he didn't. He told me that Damien has been keeping you at his house with all those Vampires for his own selfish motives. I already know what he did years ago so I didn't hesitate to believe what he told me," he tells me.
Oh, god! I bet father told him his own side of the story. Did Damien also tell me his own biased side of the story? I don't think so. Even father said that he had ruined Damien's family once so what Damien told me was the truth. I wonder what dad told Jason.
"I know that father really hates Damien and I know what happened between them years ago even before we were born. I am not going to let father's past ruin my future. Damien is a good guy. You don't know what he has been through because of me, because of the hatred father has against him.
He went through a lot when I had been kidnapped. It is not his fault too. I know that I was kidnapped as a bait but he was willing to sacrifice a lot to save me. But you, father and everyone think that he is a beast. You don't care about me and what I feel it what I want!" I say and then tears start to well again in my eyes. I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I am a strong girl! I keep telling myself so that I can hold my tears within.
"I never knew that, Clara. I was just kept in the dark. I didn't know all of this," he tries to defend himself.
"I doesn't matter. There is nothing you can do to change the situation anyway. Father does whatever he wants but there is one thing that he should know. I am not going to Reject Damien no matter what he does or how much he threatens me. If he wants us to be apart so bad, he should just kill me because that is the only way he can separate us. Damien will remain on the surface then I will be buried deep in the ground. I hope that will satisfy him," I say. Hot tears roll down my cheeks. I don't think tears really dry out because if they did, I wouldn't be having any more tears to spill right now.
"No, Clara! Don't speak like that," Jason says to calm me down but it's all useless. I knew I shouldn't have even come out of my room. This isn't helping me at all! I quickly climb back up the stairs, heading back to my room.
"Wait, Clara! Where are you going?" Jason inquires while coming up the stairs after me.
"Don't come after me! I am going away from you! Away from everyone!" I shout back and then enter my room, slamming the door behind me.