Nicole drove home in a foul mood, the worst part of it all was that she didn't even know why she had lashed out at him like that, he had been doing the same thing for over two weeks now and she was even used to him showing up at odd moments even after she told him not to, he didn't listen and it never made her pissed, she had been laughing and joking with Aron before he showed up and her mood went down immediately, she saw the shock and hurt in his face but she didn't mind at that moment, her hormones were acting out and she didn't even know how to control them, she knew she overreacted.
"I shouldn't have done that,"
she said to herself as she entered her room and laid on her bed, it was still early but she usually comes home early on Friday to enable her to start her weekend on time and enable her to regroup for the new week, she has been doing great so far and wasn't stressed at all, and she finally found a routine that worked perfectly for her, aside from Rafael who was always on her case right now, she didn't have any other thing bothering her, not that he was bothering her though, he was just doing too much maybe that's why she got mad, still don't excuse her behavior, she decided she will apologize to him when he calls or shows up again, which would be soon since he was always around that she had to ask him if he was jobless and he had told her that he might retire and would still have enough to carry him for the next hundred plus years and she didn't doubt that one bit, the man was loaded.
"Apologize when he shows up and blame it on the hormones,"
She said to herself out loud before remembering that she can't use that as an excuse as she has still not told him he was going to be a father, she still didn't know how to start the conversation with him, knowing that he is trying to get her back made it even more hard to tell him because if she tells him, he would have more reasons to press her into agreeing to what he wanted and she wasn't ready to make any quick decision that would affect her in the long run, she let go of the thoughts and got in the shower, last weekend Grace had come around and they had a good time but she wasn't going to be around till the end of February, and Natalie was so busy that they hardly see each other except in passing and she was currently in New York and her parents too were not around, it was just her for the weekend and she was going to spend it sleeping and binge watching movies and maybe start her fifth month drawing, she was already done with the fourth month and she was just in her second month, not a day goes by that she doesn't stand in front of the mirror and look at herself, it was still not yet obvious that she was pregnant but the changes were there and her hormones were there to remind her, she had so much mood swings in the last one week than she had all her life.
"No, thoughts, just rest,"
She told herself after she finished taking a bath, she texted Aron to apologize for leaving like that and wanted to turn her phone off but she didn't want to miss Rafael's call, the call that eventually never came...
****
"Well, I guess he wasn't really serious about wanting me back,"
Nicole said when her mind went to Rafael again for the hundredth plus time today, it has been a week since he last came to see her, since then, he hasn't called, texted, or any other thing, it was as if he never started pestering her to get back with him like she had dreamed it and she was finally awake, she hated him for doing it to her, for making her look forward to what else he might do to gain her back only to be disappointed when he stopped showing up, was it that easy for him to forget her? Or the fact that he said he wanted her back had it all been a joke?
Well to be fair, the last time they had spoken she had been too harsh on him but it wasn't her fault, her hormones were the ones to blame, she went to see the doctor yesterday and asked and she was told it was normal.
The fact that her action at that moment had made him stay away made her feel he wasn't ready, he didn't expect to be treated nicely after the way he up and dumped her at her weakest moment, even if she thinks of forgiving him for doing that, each time she thought of who would be hurt if she gives in to his plead now and they end up apart again, she would get even more courage to keep herself from him, if she agrees to him and things don't work out between then again, it won't be her alone that will suffer but her little one will and she doesn't want little to experience something like that.
"It's better like this, I can't make the mistake of giving in, not when I will have a lot more to lose,"
She mouthed to herself, she shouldn't be sitting idea she had things to do than sit and think about her past, so she got up and went about her work like every normal day, only that no matter what she told herself, she was only human and he made her look forward to seeing him so every moment she either looked around or check her phone to see if she missed his call but none came...