Chapter 86
This time, I was more surprised by his question so I didn't speak right away. Did he know?
"So Luke is the reason?" he laughed when he saw the expression on my face before slowly releasing my shoulders. "Your mom told me about what Luke did to give his life for you."
I stared at him as I listened to him speak and there I realized that all Trevas knew was what Luke did when I cast the 'the dark frozen light' spell to beat psyche but he still didn't know about the truth. behind the deaths of Lina and theabout Luke protecting me my whole life without me even realizing it.
"Are you regretting it now?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, not understanding what he was referring to.
"Are you regretting choosing me instead of Luke?"
“What? No ”I answered immediately after he said that. I don’t know why that entered Trevas ’mind as long as I’m sure I will never regret that he was the one I chose.
“Then why are you doing this ?! Why does it seem so hard for you to accept the loss of Luke? Why do you treat yourself as if you want to follow him in the next life? ” Trevas asked, his voice a little louder and he immediately stopped when he marealized it.
She sighed, calming herself and preventing her from raising her voice again. "I'm-"
"I love you" I interrupted what he said so he suddenly turned to me. “I have always loved you and the death of Luke or Lina will not change that. It’s just that… I feel like I don’t deserve to love and to be love in this life ”
Trevas didn't say a word and just stared at me, waiting for what I would say next so I just kept talking. I told him about what Laramie had told me. At first I didn't seem to be able to tell him but little by little, I realized that I felt better because I now had something to share in carrying this heavy baggage.
Trevas just listened to me the whole time I was telling the story and I just realized that my cheeks were wet again when I finished telling the story. “I don’t want to die. Many lives have been lost for me and I will never waste all of that. It’s just that… I don’t deserve to live ”
"Then what about me? Do I deserve to lose you too?"
I was so bitten by my lower lip because of what trevas said but the mixed emotions inside me disappeared even more when he held me with my right hand while his other hand was on my cheek and I slowly faced him.
“All of us deserve to live Alissa, while the dead deserve to be remembered. And I'm sure neither Lina, nor Luke, would want you to live with a guilty conscience after their deaths. ”
“T-then… what should I do?” my voice trembled at the question.
"Live… You've been dying inside for so much that you already forgot you are still alive" he began before I approached him and kissed me on the forehead. “Live for Lina, Luke, me and everyone who is still living for you”
I leaned my head against his chest and nodded. I know it will be a long time before I forget everything I have experienced these past few months. I lost a lot. There were also those who came. I have shed many tears in recent months that are more than the tears I have shed during my nearly two decades of living here on earth.
I know I can’t immediately step forward and be able to start forgetting the past but I know I shouldn’t live for people who have passed.
Mourning can do nothing to bring back the dead. Self -torture cannot bring back what is right until it is right. All I can do is remember everything about them and bring them to life in my memory where I will be with them for the rest of my life.
I need to wake up from this nightmare and start my story again with different characters.
***
“Why are you here?” Laramie's opening question to me when I visited him here in the gorge on Mount Jeufeng.
The snow covered the area and although I was not affected by the cold, I could see the smoke coming out of my mouth every time I blew air.
"I want to talk to you" I answered him firmly without averting my gaze from his white eyes. He was floating in the middle of the lake full of tears and if I'm not mistaken, it looks like it's more than when I last came here.
"We don't have anything to talk about-"
"The desire for me to know the truth about the death of Lina and Luke… is that really what Luke wants?" I asked so his eyes narrowed before he started walking towards me.
He looked at my face carefully before laughing but he didn't seem happy. "It seems like it's easy to accept that Luke died for you while you don't know and hate him"
I immediately bent down and averted my gaze. Laramie is Luke's mother. Although it is not obvious from Laramie's behavior, I know that she cares about her only child Zeus.
"I'm sorry…"
"You are right" Laramie said so I looked up at him. "Luke doesn't ask you to know the truth"
I nodded. I didn’t immediately think of that because I was so consumed by the conscience I was feeling. As far as I know Luke, he is the type who will take care of all the problems for the people who are important to him just like he did for me. That’s why I’m not convinced by what Laramie said that Luke asked me to know the truth.
"Luke didn't have a chance to use his request from me because we haven't seen each other for a decade" Laramie began before taking a walk on the lake.
"Don't you wonder why so many tears are accumulating in this lake even though only a few people know about this place?" Laramie asked so I immediately thought.
Laramie hid here on the mountain of Jeufeng to escape Psyche. It's been several decades since Laramie started hiding here. Alone and away from his only son Luke. I suddenly stopped and it suddenly entered my mind that could Laramie's own tears make up the lake where she is standing now?
"You're quite smart" Laramie commented when she noticed that I realized the answer to her question. “For the past two decades, I have planned to overthrow Psyche. I knew I could not defeat him in battle because my power was not for fighting so I used my ability to foresee what would happen in the future.
For two decades, I asked for Psyche to disappear so that my hiding could end and I could get Luke back from the royal family of Bauxacel. I personally planned everything that had happened in recent months.
When the Knoxx family collapsed and Alen Knoxx was accused, I knew that Lina and I would go to Beifang to stay there. I also know that one day Trevas will need the frozen chrysanthemum that is only found here on Mount Jeufeng so I planned your first meeting in the forest where you first met.
When trevas needed the frozen chrysanthemum, you two came here with Lina as I expected. I sent Chenoo to the cave you and Lina were going to so instead of getting the frozen chrysanthemum, it broke when you fell into the ravine where I was. And that’s where it all started. It all started when I showed Lina the future that I had also dreamed of for several years but the schedule changed immediately when Lina knew what was scheduled to happen ”
Laramie paused to watch my reaction. He frowned when he saw that I was calmly listening to him even though he had just said that he had planned Lina's death.
I gasped. "I know that even if you don't tell Lina the future and she sees my life in danger, she will and will do what she sacrificed her life for me"
And just in case we swap Lina's position, I'll do what she did.
My fist clenched, trying to pull back the tears that were about to drip. A few days have passed since Trevas and I spoke and since then I have decided to live to remember and appreciate the good deeds done by those who sacrificed their lives for the end of Psyche’s evil reign.
"If you really planned everything so that you could be free and be with Luke, then why didn't you stop Luke from using his life to end Psyche?"
Laramie laughed but unlike before, there was a hint of sadness in her voice.
“It was supposed to be you. You were going to die at that time based on what I saw using my powers so I never thought Luke would do that thing. Now, Psyche is gone but I have lost everything ”
I stared at Laramie staring at the lake at her feet, I didn’t know what she was thinking.
“I’m sorry…” I said because I didn’t know what to say to him to relieve him.
"Don't be" Laramie replied before turning her gaze to me. "Do you believe in the afterlife?"
I frowned at his question but before I could speak he continued.
“Zeus, Alen, Hermes, Lina, Luke and everyone who died in this world. Someday, somewhere, in another world… they will live as a different person ”
To be continued......