"Sweet you've arrived," my sister-in-law hugs me and takes the baby out of my arms.
"Where is the bitter man and my blonde?"
She snorts, “Fran is becoming more and more impossible. He has lost that charm that he had on his side and now he protests about everything, he says that he feels sicker now,” she dropped her shoulders. She didn't think this was that difficult, “he's in the girl's room.”
I take off my bag and put it on the couch, "I'll go talk to him" she nods and goes with my son, when I go up to the second floor I go straight to where he is, I find him playing with the baby and smile, “my sunshine is a good father,” when he sees me he smiles, but that smile does not fill him, he is thin, very thin.
"I can't do more, I must take advantage of it before I die," he says bitterly, that's new to him.
“My sun, you can't be so negative, before you were available ...”
“That was before Marilí, no longer,” he cuts me off, “damn it, I'm thinner, every time I go to the bathroom to piss more often, I can't stand the urge to vomit, this was supposed to improve me not to put me in this damn state, remember this was what I was avoiding.”
I'm used to that, this month my sun have has been a pain in the ass, “heaven it's because that's the way it should be, she said it herself, it won't be easy but it will help you. What if you're thinner? Well, yes, you only eat parboiled, roasted, without coloring, only some fruits and no soft drinks or alcohol,” I caress his cheek, “you are recovering, but to feel better you must pass this, you must be patient. Do you think that this behavior helps in something? You are getting bitter and you are not like that, Lucelia is hurt, she loves you with all her heart, but my sunshine, one gets tired of mistreatment and as she is, it will not surprise me if she sent you to hell one of these days angrily,” I smile and kiss his head, “so stop being unbearable and look at things on the good side, clearly you must go to the bathroom many times, you are drinking that water like crazy,” I take away the girl who is already 2 months from him, "now I want you to smile at me and call me wonder, you have called me by my name earlier." I look at him with narrowed eyes and he laughs, he embraces me and fills me with kisses.
“You don't know how long I needed to talk to you, wonder,” he steps back a bit, “I've been losing control and my beauty is paying for it, I'm running with luck, she hasn't sent me for a fool's walk.”
I smile with tenderness, “well then make up for it today."
He looks at me mischievously which makes me laugh. I spent a few hours with my sister-in-law and my sun, Kahin as always makes a mess and blames the dog, my son's intelligence scares me a bit. When I get home Susana leaves and I am alone with my son and Rucher, I have tried to call Kahin and he does not answer me. I have dinner alone and once it is time for my son to sleep I bathe him and put him to bed, Rucher lies at the door of the room, I go to mine to wait for my husband, but the hours pass and he did not return, I ended up falling asleep.
I hear the shower running and I open my eyes lazily, I smell he’s perfume, he has returned. I get comfortable on the bed and see his jacket next to me, his cell phone is vibrating, by the time I take it out it stops vibrating, they were calls from that damn number, when I'm about to record it a message arrives.
‘I see that you are already with her, I really enjoyed this day together, as always Mr. Hamann you surprise me. I hope you don't forget anything, see you tomorrow and kisses where you like best.’
My heart stops completely, now I cannot think that I am the paranoid one, now I cannot force myself to trust him, the tears are creating in my eyes, but the fury soon invades me. "Sweet, I thought you were sleeping."
I look at him and just throw the phone at him, “that's why every time you were late you took a shower, every day you called me less, and even when you filled me with so many attentions I felt that something was missing, damn it Kahin. When we started this the first time I told you not to cheat on me. I asked that it was clear to me so as not to suffer another deception and look at you ... You turned out to be just like Ian,” tears of anger fall on the bed, “once again you hurt me Kahin ... Once again I see that you don't know how to do things, I gave you everything, I forgave you even knowing what happened between you and my mother,” he try to get closer but I won't allow it, I get out of bed, he stinks of alcohol, “tell me Kahin, why live all this damn farce?” I never believed that he, that man who behaved like an angel to me in this time that we returned would do something like that to me.
"Baby ..." he whispers not knowing what to say.
“You have hurt me, I thought everything was fine between us, I feel stupid to believe that those messages could be something else, I thought it made you happy, I thought you were complete with me and our children,” my voice denotes pain and defeat, “I'm not going to forgive you for this,” taking the robe that is on the sofa, I put it on, silence tells me everything. I go to my son's room and lock myself, I see my son asleep and I give up, I allow myself to collapse.
“I thought I was doing well, I thought everything was fine ... I did not give him reasons for this, no I did not give him reason to hurt me like this. He was breaking his word, he was missing me and his family has been missing,” the pain is overwhelming, heartbreaking and suffocating, my man, my dark-haired husband, the one I love with all my heart have been missing without having any reason.
"Sweet let me talk to you please" I hear his voice behind the door, wiping my tears I go to open it, having him in front of me I push him hard and then I punch him across the face.
“Get away from me Kahin, don't come near me because I swear that now I'm ready to end it all,” I look at him with hatred and pain, “you've betrayed me and you're not going to get out of this so easily, I'm not a woman who forgives betrayal, I forgave you once because my mother was most at fault, but this time you had no reason, you couldn't contain your damn urges. Now get out of my damn sight,” my chin is shaking, but I don't allow myself to cry, I didn't think I will feel that way again, but it's seems that I'm always wrong, I see him back off and shortly after go with his head down, I let out the tears, I'm very sore, for that man I did it and I forgot everything to be in this position? It's not fair for me. I go back to the room and get on the bed to lie down, without sleep, with pain in my chest and without stopping crying, I only think of Kahin with another woman, “everything changes,” I whisper to myself.