What if I'm going to ask you is to move her away? When all this happens, I do not want to be the laugh of the whole damn country,” agitated and furious I leave there to prepare my other things, I could not keep all that inside, I had to tell him and I told him.
Entering the room where I have my paintings and all my work in general I burst into tears when I saw the surprise I had for him, shattered and without knowing how to feel I hurry to pack everything, each object that I put in the box brings me a memory. Seeing that room recreates many scenes in my head, the day I premiered it I did it in the style of Kahin, as I always gave myself to him on the damn table where I have the boxes, the days when we both painted, his drawings were of an elementary school child, that memory makes me laugh.
“Sweet honey,” hearing his voice irritates me like never before, taking out a neon green paint, I uncover it and turning around, I poured it on his face.
"Go away and leave me alone, I don't want to see you, I don't want to listen to you, I don't want to feel your damn smell," I yell at him wiping my tears. Cleaning himself, he leaves the room quickly, I think the acrylic fell into his eyes, “hopefully you will go blind,” I grumble angrily at life, my daughters start to move with force, “calm my loves, later we will be in a place with more peace.” I finish packing everything, so as not to make an effort I leave them all scattered, I go to my baby's room to pack too.
Daylight arrives and I was still packing the last, Kahin has made it so difficult for me that I have left all my clothes and most of the baby’s.
"Madam, there is a truck outside," Susana informs me, immediately under the stairs, the fatigue is noticeable.
"Good morning, Mrs. Marilí Cook?"
Smiling, I open the door, “good morning, how punctual you are, come on, I'll guide you,” I let them pass calmly, Kahin's weapon is locked and he does not know the whereabouts of it.
"What the hell do you think they're doing?" He yells behind me, snorting I enter the room I shared with him, as expected, he's coming after me. "I'm not going to let you go, Marilí, you don't leave this house and even less if it's with my son,” taking the suitcase and my bag I completely ignore him.
“This has fallen out of a box,” one of the young men gives me some envelopes and among them a yellow one, without paying too much attention I keep them in my bag and go to get my son.
"Thank you for taking care of him Susana" I smile at the woman who looks at me with crystallized eyes, “thank you for all your help during all this time, if you want you can come with me, I would give you work and look how much you will have," I try to joke in middle of sadness.
“Aiiss madam, you know that I cannot leave young Hamann, but whenever I can I will visit him,” releasing the suitcase I hug her, she kisses my son and I am about to leave, my chest feels pressure and emptiness. At the same time, I am nowhere from leaving home that gave me so many good moments as bad, I am nowhere from leaving Kahin once again, I am nowhere from starting a new life alone with my children, far from the man I love but that also betrayed me.
“Sir, it's not our fault, they are paying us to do this, I can't give you the address and I can't leave things here either, my family depends on my job and if I listen to you they'll fire me, I'm sorry,” seeing Kahin turn into a devil with the boys exhausts me, that behavior of him ends up with me as always.
"Easy, finish doing your work and leave it in the direction you have, I will arrive shortly after you." I walk to the garage to get my car, Kahin's screams of despair behind me hurt, but I can't give in, not this time, I put my baby in his chair and secure it, throw my bag inside and head to my seat.
“Don't go baby, don't leave me please, I'm begging you, don't take my son, don't leave me without you again,” he kneels before me, “I'm sorry for everything that happened, I just ask you to trust me one more time, please dear ... Don't do this to me, don't take my life,” seeing him cry and begging me kills me, my tears don't take long to come out, I love that man, I adore him, but my dignity is first and my principles do not allow me to stay with him, even if I want to, I cannot.
“I'm sorry Kahin, you decided to betray me and now you're paying the consequences, I can't forgive you, I can't trust you, I just can't risk suffering more, you didn't just cheat on me and play with my feelings, you left me alone with my pregnancy, you made your family second and your dick first. That cannot be forgiven, you missed that word in which I blindly believed Kahin, I expected everything from you, expect an outburst, I expected you to lock me up so as not to go out, expect a disdain for me it will hurt, it's even more I expected you to lose control and jump in and do something stupid, but I never expected you to be unfaithful, now I'm just going to ask you to not come near me for love of your daughters and let me carry my pregnancy in peace, I will never take you away from the children, but I will tell you where I live when I am better,” I get away from him and get in the car, I start it and leave without looking back, I wipe my tears and try to focus on the road, I go with my son and I must have a lot of courage.
After arriving in what would be my new home and the women I hired were unpacking everything, the fatigue was a lot but I had to help put things to get done faster. The hours passed and between my son and the arrangements, the headache invaded me due to lack of sleep, when everything is and ready it is time for dinner, my mobile remained switched off. With my son asleep and I exhausted I go to bed. When I remove the bag from the bed, the envelopes fall, I sigh and decide to open them, they are letters of invitations to expose my works and among other things without importance, when I get to the yellow envelope I miss myself, no it has no address, no zip code, no stamps, it has nothing, just my address or well Kahin's and the date it was sent is two weeks ago, just when I realized my husband's infidelity.
"Mamma ... Mamma ..." I hear my son cry.
I drop the envelope on the bed and go to his room, “quiet my love, I know that everything is new but you must get used to it,” I sigh, looking at everything, “it is so empty and sad without your parents,” I hold back my tears and I take my son to my room, it is only to put him to bed and he falls asleep, I collect everything the envelopes to remove them from my bed, I really need to rest, “I must sleep and stop thinking so much,” I whisper.
I put everything on the bedside table but I put it wrong and everything falls off, “fuck ...” annoyed, I get up to pick everything up, my belly won't let me so I sit on the floor, when I pick up the papers something catches my attention, my heart beats so fast that it suffocates me, my lungs close and the tremors of my body begin to give way to cold sweat. The photos scattered before me have Kahin with a woman whose face cannot be seen, the positions they are in make me gasp, my husband looks so passionate, so eager and full of pleasure, seeing his erection in a cavity that is not mine kills me.
If imagining it hurt me, seeing it is something that I can't really describe, devastated and drowning in my crying so as not to wake up my son I lie on the floor, everything is over, everything is over. Kahin deceived me and I feel stupid for believing that everything could be a mistake, but now that those photos are on the floor of my room I have no doubt, he not only allowed that woman to break our relationship, he allowed her to hurt me. The hatred for not being able to see that bitch's face is twice as frustrating.