The sudden movements make me uncomfortable, the persistent way it happens makes me complain, I open my eyes slowly, Kahin is moving desperately, he is sweating and very agitated.
"No ... Stop," he yells, "don't," scared by how he's reacting, I try to calm him down.
"Kahin ...wake up," increasingly desperate, he pulls me hard, "Kahin you are hurting me, come on sweetheart, everything is fine," every second he tightens me more, "Kahin it's me, Marilí, you're dreaming," when I can separate myself from him, I caress his cheek, he calms down, "hey ..." I keep calling him "take it easy, I'm here ..." I see him open his eyes slowly, even in the dark we can see each other clearly, I smile when he focuses on me.
"Hello," I kiss his lips, "you're good? I thought..." I can't say more when he hugs me, he clings to me, "easy, dark," I try to make him feel safe, "it was just a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?" I hear him sob, that does surprise me.
"I thought I would lose you, I was chasing you and I couldn't reach you," he's clinging closer to me, he looks like a scared child, "I thought I would never see you again ... I ... I ... I thought I couldn't make them pay for what they did to you and that's why you left me," I force myself away from him and see him cry like the scared child he is being right now.
"I'm here," I wipe his tears with pampering, my heart sinks to see him like that, I never believed that he would show me that sensitive part of him, "I would never leave and even if you hadn't avenged me, I'd still be here with you" I smile tenderly, "do you know why?" He shakes his head, "because I love you and you are the one who makes me happy, rage and think," he smiles, "you are what life sent to me, you are the best work of art that can be in my life," he sits down and pulls me onto his laps.
"You don't know how much I love that you have come into my life, Sweet you are everything to me," looking into his eyes I pout, "I love you, I adore you, you are my best artist." I smile at that, we are always the opposite.
"Kiss Me," I order him and he just does it, "come on, it's still early and we must rest more, I'll be here when those dreams attack you." We settle in and hugging each other, we feel like our breaths are synchronized and our heartbeats go hand in hand. I like feeling him so calm, I hate when he has those dreams, every time he falls asleep in my room by accident, that happens and it is always a different dream.
***
"Sweet come on, we must go," his voice, that damn voice, and his one interrupt my dreams and I can't be bothered by how delicate he is, "baby we must go," he rwpeat, I roll over in bed.
"I don't want, let me sleep," I pull him and force him to lie down, when I have him as I want, I hug him, "I don't want to go out, I'm fine here," I feel him sigh.
"Sweet, we haven't been out for three months and you're not like that, you just want to sleep and sleep," I grunt, sleeping is the only thing that made me forget, "come on, we must go," I feel like he is separating from me and shortly after he takes me in his arms, "you can sleep in the car," I don't even bother to open my eyes."
"Fuck man, now she is a Koala, you don't have to be bored with that woman," I hear Loan say.
"I am a cute koala and you are a porcupine," I open my eyes, annoyed by my interrupted sleep, it's still night, "may I know where we are going?" Kahin leaves me in the passenger seat.
"To a place you'll love," my friend gets on, "don't despair and you can sleep, come on, I don't want to see you in a bad mood." I grumble nonstop.
"Have your stuffed animal," Kahin hands me my stuffed animal, it's a stuffed panda, "I'm jealous of that doll, but just to not see you in a bad mood I'll give it to you." I hug my teddy bear.
"If you want, I'll drive, man." Loan offers.
"It's a good idea," he accepts, my friend goes to the passenger seat and Kahin sits next to me, I immediately climb on his legs to feel closer to him, that bad dream made us more united. With Kahin I am different, I love him so much that I just want to be on him and I jealous him for everything and for nothing, I restrain myself so that I am not always like this, I had never experienced these feelings and I am afraid of becoming toxic.
"I love it when you're this sticky," he caress my body, "can you give me a little kiss?" His cuddly voice makes me smile, without saying anything I give it to him, I devour his lips with my mouth.
"Fuck Hamann, whoever sees you wouldn't believe it man, you're up to the bar," aughs Loan.
"You are the same," I try to defend myself.
"I'm not the unfeeling inhuman here," I look at Kahin, he's getting pissed off.
"No, you're the gay cock," I look at him, "you're the one who likes to fuck if he can," I smile.
"You had to speak," he growls, "nor sleepy you leave that viperine tongue," I hear my friend laugh.
"But that's the way it is when she says things the most," she looks at me in the rearview mirror.
"That's my Sweet, passive aggressive," he kisses me again and I melt for it, "am I forgiven?" I look at him laughing.
"Are you doubting it? Do you think that if I had not forgiven you we would be like this? By God Kahin, it was three months in which I did not allow you to touch me, yesterday I allowed it. Isn't that obvious?" I watch him make a funny face.
"One never know with you." I roll my eyes and settle down.
"I thought you knew me better," he spanks me, if anyone knows me, it's him and that's why he doesn't trust himself, "be careful with that little hand, Mr. Hamann," I growl at him provocatively, "now hold me and let me sleep." As the good errand boy that he is, he did it.
"Throw her in the water, maybe that way she'll wake up," I immediately open my eyes and look at Loan, "what? You don't stop sleeping." I roll my eyes and realize where we are.
"Where are we going? I ask when I see the sea and the boats.
"We are in Colón, we are going to Isla Grande," my friend smiles at me, Kahin kisses me on the head and puts me on the ground.
"Wow ... Colon!" I look at everything, I love it, but I'm very afraid of boats, "I can not," I hisper.
"The what?" Kahin asks, hugging me.
"I can not," I repeat.
"She is afraid of boats, ships, pangas or whatever goes on the water," my friend clarifies.
"I can't believe it!" Laughs Loan, "it's unbelievable," he doesn't stop laughing and that is putting me in a bad mood.
"Are you not afraid of anything? I remember very well that you said that you are afraid of bats. Isn't that more ridiculous?" I shouted him. I separate from Kahin and look for the car, before I visualize it I can already feel him behind my back.
"You should relax, you know Loan is an idiot," I snort over and over again, he forces me to look at him, with tears in my eyes I do.
"I'm sorry, it's just that yesterday got me wrong ..." I look away, "I didn't like leaving you halfway and I didn't like feeling that way either," I feel him caress my cheek with love.
"Quiet Sweet, nothing happens, I wait for you all you want, you must be clear that what you are going through is not easy, you are strong and you are doing well, things are done little by little, OK? Now come on, they are waiting for us, I promise to hug you as hard as possible so that you don't get scared."
That makes me laugh, "not so hard that you can break all my bones." We walk hand in hand to that diabolical means of transport, as Kahin said, he hugs me tightly and that makes me feel safe, I don't tolerate the movement of the boat through the waves.
"You are a lazy woman!" My friend mocks, "truly, you are unique," I don't look at her, I can't open my eyes, "look, we're arriving, please Marilí, this is perfect for a painting, look." I know it must be pretty, but there's no human power to open my eyes while this thing is running.
"You can open your eyes now," Kahin puts me on the floor and the sand gets between my fingers.
"Oh beloved land, I love you," I shout theatrically, kneeling in the sand, looking in front of me, I smile when I see that island that has nothing big.