ME OR HER?
I felt my heart pleading to be saved, I was so annoyed,so pained, the air around my throat hung causing me to try and take a gulp.
If that was Armando, I wanted him dead, yes dead cause it broke my heart, the voice of Marty saying " she didn't need to know", got me worried.
Were they having sex and didn't want me to know?, My heart skips and my kneels failed to carry my weight, I collapse my self to the soft bed and curled myself up, my face in between my knees.
"Damn you Armando, damn you!"
I cursed under my breath, my heart seeking refuge as tears rolled down my face, I screamed.
I thought I was in love,but I felt so hurt, why did it had to hurt
"What if it wasn't what you think it is?," My head asked me, so I sobbed for a while, drying my face with my hand.
" I need to know what's going on" I can't be in the dark crying, I'll have to confront Armando, and maybe Marty,I might be selfish but I knew how much she had hurt but I can't confront her now.
I stepped into the cold bathroom and allowed the running water to ease away the pain I felt.
Looking at the mirror under my wet long eyelashes,I didn't care if I looked pale, I was too angry to even notice how messy I looked.
Under my zebra coloured garment, I went in search of the man who I thought I could give everything.
I have roamed almost everywhere I could possibly think of finding him, he's always nowhere to be found every time, I was restless.
Just as I was already giving up I remembered how much he loved our spot and how he told me it helped him keep calm, I sneaked out and went in search of him.
He was looking at the moon, he looked sad but why, he didn't even notice my present with all the rusty noise I made or was he just avoiding me, who cares, I was now even angry that he looked so handsome under the bright moon.
"Armando!" I called out walking towards him, no response, was he playing the deaf and dumb game with me, I chewed on my teeth.
"Armando!!" I was now furious, I have never felt that way before.
The mixture of love and hatred.
Just as I took another step further to reach him and call his name, I felt a sharp pain on my leg, I was on the floor, it hurt so much,my leg already bleeding as I held onto it, it was an iron rod, it gave me a small wound.
Armando was already there to help me up, I couldn't get up on my own, so he carried me, his scent already driving me nuts.
"what is wrong with you!" I could hear my head talking to myself.
He laid me on our bed, he looked worried but didn't say a word to me, I didn't care either,the pain on my leg was much of my concern.
He looked like he had been crying, was something wrong with him?I wasn't concentrating on my wound not for long.
"Ahhhhhh!" I cried out.
"Sorry" His thick cracky voice was talking to me.
" For what?" I asked trying to see if I could get some detailing, No!He was just too stubborn,I only got a quick glance and a weak smile.
"What are you doing here?" He asked quickly, as he took his eyes off me and concentrated on my bleeding leg, although the bleeding has stopped.
"Last time I checked,this was our spot" almost shouting.
"You should go back to your dorm," he said harshly, not looking at my face.
"Why, huh?" I was already angry.
"You've got someone else here, huh?" ... "You fucking bastard!" I cursed as I pushed him and forced myself to stand up.
"Who do you want?" I questioned but he was silent like he didn't know what I was talking about.
"Answer me!, Is it me or her huh?" I was furious but he stood there dumb .
"You better talk!, You dumb asshole!" I cursed, I was shaking, as hot tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Am not having this conversation with you Jane" he sounded serious but I could feel him in pain.
"Is there something you want to tell me?" I was seeking answers.
"Like what huh!?".. " is there something you want to know!" He sounded so mean, he stood up to leave but turned to look at my hands holding his, my eyes were already blurry as tears ran down my face.
"Am sorry" I didn't even know when that came out but I needed to heal my bleeding heart.
"Am sorry too" I watched him walk closer to me, he looked like he was going to cry but was trying to stay strong for me.
He kissed my temples and curled me up in a hug, I felt so safe and empty, my legs stopped aching, it felt so good, I forgot about everything,I was at peace,I didn't know what to find out about anything, besides it hurt and I didn't like to be hurt.