“That sounds nice.” I nod, giving her a watery smile. This day has been unbelievably emotional. “I think I’m just going to head home; this has been a lot.”
Lianna pats my shoulder. “I know, girl, but it will get better.”
Before I leave, I turn back to her. “Thanks for defending me before. I really appreciate it.”
Lianna smiles. “What are friends for?”
I grab my stuff from the staff room and change out of my scrubs and back into regular clothes.
Should I leave my stethoscope here? I guess I won’t have any use for it at home.
I rub my eyes. While part of me can’t help but feel defeated, the other part is dying to hold my baby and snuggle him against my chest. Just seeing his face will make me feel so much better.
As soon as I’m out of the parking lot and merging onto the highway, I think about Evans. He never called me back earlier, but maybe I can see him at his office quickly before heading home to Alfred. I’m not exactly looking forward to telling him that I’ve been instructed to take another month off—will he say I told you so?
A few quick turns later and I’m outside the impressive black building with the words BARCODE written in blue lights. I look up above the club, to the window that I know is Evan’s office. I haven’t been here in months, not since the day Evans asked that I bring Alfred in and show him off to Barcode’s employees. It made me smile to see everyone ooh-ing and ahh-ing over our baby, and to see the pride in Evan’s beautiful blue eyes as he looked at his son.
When I enter the building, one of the bodyguards lets me in and I rush up to Evan’s office. I can hear the sound of laughter as I swing open the door. My lips part to greet Evans with a happy “Hello, handsome,” but I stop in my tracks as my eyes take in the scene before me. Evans and his beautiful assistant Elena are on the couch across from his desk, laughing hard. The silk sleeve of Elena’s lilac blouse is touching Evans and he leans closer towards her.
There’s nothing going on between them, Ciara. Don’t be ridiculous.
Suddenly Evans turns to the doorway. “Ciara!” he exclaims, trying to catch his breath. “Hi, love. What are you doing here?”
Elena stands up. “Hi, Ciara. It’s great to see you!” She flashes me a smile. “I’m just going to check the bar inventory. I’ll give you two a minute.” I nod politely as she passes by, then turn around and watch the door close behind her.
As soon as she’s gone, I drop my bag on the floor and rush into Evan’s arms, taking a moment to inhale the smell of his cologne. I don’t even ask what he and Elena were laughing about. The feeling of his arms around me is enough to push aside any fears that I have. Evans is my safe place. When I’m with him I feel happy, loved, and cared for. He’s my everything.
Evans holds me tightly for a few moments, then leans away to get a good look at my face. He raises a gentle hand and wipes away the fresh tears forming on my cheeks. “Sweetheart, what is going on? Are you okay?”
I take a few gulps of air and a deep breath. “I’m okay, kind of.” Evans gives me a look. “Maybe I’m not so great. Dr. Juliet wants me to take more time off. A whole month. Why doesn’t anyone think I’m ready? Just because of one setback. I started crying and panicked when I held the baby. That’s it! This whole thing is getting blown out of proportion. It was only my first day back!”
Evans wipes away more of my tears, then he kisses my forehead and looks me lovingly in the eye. “I get it, but are you really ready to go back? I mean, what’s the rush? Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.”
My heart drops. “Evans, I really don’t want to repeat our argument from this morning. It’s not what I need right now.”
Evans rubs my back gently. “Look on the bright side. This morning you were unhappy about leaving Alfred, and now you can go back to spending all day with him. The grass is greener right?” Evans looks as though he’s waiting patiently for me to agree, but I’m frustrated.
Why doesn’t anyone understand how I feel? I want to work and I want my son. Why does everyone keep acting like having both things at once isn’t possible?
I step out of Evans’s hug. “I want to have a career and a baby Evans. Why is that so hard to comprehend?” I burst into tears again. Evans tries to reach for me, but I push his arms away. “You’re supposed to be the one person that understands me; the one person who takes what I want into account.” I wrap my arms around myself. For some reason I’m suddenly freezing.
Evans runs his hands through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry, Ciara. I really thought I was being understanding. He sighs. “I’ll try to do a better job, I promise.”
I can tell that he’s being sincere and my anger melts away. “Thank you, Evans”
His phone trills with the sound of a text. He glances briefly at it, then looks up at me with a half-smile. “At least now that you don’t have to work, you’ll have more time to plan the wedding with my mother. She wants to meet you for dinner tonight to finalize some plans.”
Although I hear every word that Evans says, none of them compute. My jaw drops in shock. “Wait a minute. What wedding?! I thought we agreed to elope?”