I don't know how much time passes. I think it's about 30 minutes of Ciara pushing before the baby finally comes out. I watch as the doctor holds him in her hands and uses a bulb syringe to clean the baby's mouth.
And then he begins to cry.
"Oh my god," Ciara says as tears begin to run down her cheeks.
"Would you like to cut the cord, Mr. Leonard?" Dr. Juliet is asking me.
I gulp down the knot that has formed in my throat and nod. I let go of Ciara's hand and walked to the doctor. My eyesight is a little blurry as she hands me the scissors and I blink a few times before cutting the umbilical cord. The room is filled with his crying. One of the nurses takes him and cleans him as he continues to cry, and then she wraps him up and walks to me. She smiles as she begins to put him in my arms.
I’m in shock. I can't move.
He looks so tiny in my arms. I reach out and caress his soft cheek with my hand until he stops crying.
He is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Tiny nose...tiny mouth...tiny eyes which he shuts closed.
"Let me...see him," Ciara says from the bed.
I walk to her and place him in her arms. It’s when the baby is in her arms that I realize that I’m crying. I clean the tears on my cheeks quickly. I didn't think I was going to cry. What the hell is wrong with me?
"He's so beautiful," Ciara whispers as she looks down at him. "He's so beautiful, Evans." She cries.
I smile, then lean down and kiss her forehead. "Yes, he is."
"The nurse needs to take him now," Dr. Juliet says. "For check-up."
I watch as the nurse takes our baby from Ciara's hands. I look down at her. She is sweaty, her hair is stuck to her neck, her face is flushed, and her eyes are swollen from crying— but she has never looked so beautiful to me. "Thank you," I whisper to her as I press my lips against hers. She laughs against them as she tries to kiss me back. "I love you," I whisper before pulling away.
I stand by Ciars’s side as Dr. Juliet tells her to push to make the placenta come out before cleaning Ciara up. Ciara looks so much more relaxed. Her shoulders look a thousand pounds lighter. As the doctor takes care of her, I grab a cloth and wet it, then go back and clean Ciara’s forehead and neck.
"I must look horrible," she tells me, looking embarrassed.
I smile at her. "You look beautiful."
"Can you give me a cup of water?" she asks, pointing to the nightstand.
"Of course," I say, then reach for it and bring it to her lips. She drinks all the water and I fill it up again. Ciara talks with her mom and Eva while we wait for them to bring the baby back. I feel anxious knowing he is in a room somewhere, out of my sight. I yearn to hold him again. By the time they bring him, Ciara is asleep. They bring him in a rolling bed.
"You might need to wake her up," the nurse tells me quietly. "So she can feed him."
I nod as I take the baby in my arms, but don't say anything. His eyes are closed, and his skin is a little wrinkled and flushed. He makes movements with his mouth, making me laugh like an idiot. He's so darn cute.
"Ciara,honey," her mom whispers as she shakes her lightly. Ciara's eyes open slowly. "The baby is here," her mom says.
Ciara's eyes search the room and her face softens when she sees him. I walk to her bed and hand him to her, but stand close by her side. There are buttons on the shoulder band I hadn't noticed on her gown. I help her unbutton them and then she pulls it down, exposing her breast. I watch as she holds the tiny baby and brushes his lips lightly against her nipple. The baby opens his mouth and begins to suck. I had never been so fascinated in my life. "He is so perfect," Ciara whispers as she stares at him.
Yes, he is.
We watch him eat long enough for him to stop. He has fallen asleep. He’s wrapped in a blanket, but I can see that he’s wearing a white onesie. He had soft, brown hair on his head. Ciara reaches out and runs her fingers over his forehead softly, as if afraid he might break. I smile as I watch them. They are the two most valuable, most important people in my life. My heart wants to explode with gratitude, something I thought I was never going to experience.
I’m happy.
I don't know how long we stare at him. Ciara’s mom had fallen asleep on the couch, resting her head on Eva’s lap. Ciara yawns. "You need to sleep," I tell her.
She nods and I take the baby and place him in my arms. His tiny head rests on my chest as I pace around the room with him in my arms.
"You're so perfect," I whisper looking down at him. "So perfect, Alfred,
I look at him and I wonder how I have been living life without him in it.
He completes it.
He completes me.
He completes Ciara and me.
He has made us into a family.