After a pause that seems to last forever, Dr. Juliet shakes her head. “I thought about firing you on the spot, but it’s your first day back, and as a mother myself, I know how hard it can be to leave your child at home for the first time.”
My shoulders sag in relief. “It’s so much harder than I thought it would be. I really want to be here, I promise.” I sit a little straighter in my chair.
“Are you sure?” she asks, and the words coming rushing out of me, desperate to convince her.
“I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, ever since I was a little girl. Now that I’ve had my own baby, I want to help other women.” I think of how scared I was when Alfred was born—even with Evans and my family by my side, it was still very hard. “Even if I’m just holding their hand and telling them to push. I want to help. I need to help.”
“Ciara, I admire your dedication, and think you have a good head on your shoulders, but I’m just not sure you’re ready yet.” Dr. Juliet looks at me hard and my heart clenches with how badly I want to stay.
“I am ready. This won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of it.”
Dr. Juliet sighs. “I know this won’t happen again, because I’m not going to give you another chance to lose control like that.”
My stomach drops. “But I thought you weren’t firing me?”
“I’m not, but I respectfully request that you take another month before coming back.”
“A month? That’s a really long time,” I protest. As much as I’d love more hours with Alfred, I need to keep busy and feel useful. I’m not the type of woman to sit at home eating bon-bons all day.
“I know it’s not ideal, but it’s a big transition to make, coming back to work. You’re taking another month of leave.” Dr. Juliet tone is regretful, but firm. There’s nothing more to be said.
Feeling like a failure, I head back to the break room in the hopes of finding my unfinished cup of coffee. Lianna’s sitting at one of the tables and rushes over to me.
“How did it go?” Her voice is kind and I shrug in response, not trusting myself to speak for a minute. I can just imagine the gossip that will soon be going around the hospital—those mean nurses will have a field day with the news. I knew Ciara couldn’t do it, they’ll say smugly.
I put another coffee pod in the coffee maker just to have something to do with my hands. “She gave me another month off. She thinks I’m not ready to be back in the ward yet, even though she knows how dedicated I am.”
Lianna gives me a hug. “You’ll be back before you know it. And I promise I’ll keep in touch, okay? Maybe you, Ciara, and I can all go to the park one day?”