LUCIUS
I was unable to comprehend what had overcome me as I raised my lips to kiss Freya. I was aware that it could have been my attempt to comfort her, but I was also aware that it was impossible. We've only ever shared a kiss, so this is the first time I would be initiating one, so if it was because she was sobbing, there was no way I could claim to be moved by her emotions. I had the impression that I was alone with her in some sort of trance.
My former concerns instantly disappeared. I was compelled to swear to that. As we slowly and passionately kissed, I could feel myself wanting more of her. Although I was aware that this might not have been her intention, I'm prepared to move forward with this. I went ahead and kissed her, even though I knew she might not have wanted to. She had raised her head to give me a close look, but she kissed me without warning. If she hadn't brought her lips to mine, I would not have given her such a deep kiss, knowing that she wouldn't have returned the favor.
My concerned expression seemed to dissolve into nothing, and bliss was all that remained. Even if it might be our last kiss, I'm glad we could still share a kiss. I was aware that I had vowed to use every resource at my disposal to prevail in the combat. I'm willing to try, even though I know it won't be simple for me to battle Alphas because of her. I promise never to miss a chance to spend time with her.
After a while, I broke the kiss out of remorse. It seemed as though I had abused her. I felt like I had taken advantage of the situation, even though I knew I shouldn't have kissed her because it was an accidental kiss. I have to admit that I feel bad about it, and I apologized for it. All of the things that I had not previously considered started to cross my mind after I broke up with the kiss. With everything that has occurred, I am more concerned. I was aware that since it appeared that I had taken advantage of her, it would not be possible to seek her forgiveness.
I felt even more guilty because I knew she wouldn't be pleased with all of this. Prior to now, the duel was all I could think about, but that has changed. I'm trying to come up with a method to ask her to pardon me. I'm at a loss for words or actions. I was aware that pleading with her for forgiveness would not be simple. She won't want to be connected to me; I get that feeling. Tears were about to spill out of my eyes. I realized that I shouldn't have let go of my physical authority. I was the cause of all of this. I was aware that my partner and I shouldn't have been hampered by my wants or feelings.
She seemed upset and wounded by what I did, in my opinion. I took advantage of her, even though I knew she would be upset because she had trusted me. She wouldn't want to interact with me; I knew it. I was aware that the strategy was not going to work out.
"I apologize; I don't intend to irritate or exploit you. I really apologize for that kiss; I didn't want to enrage you. I lowered my head gently and murmured, "Please don't hate me; I don't mean to take advantage of you." She has been incredibly silent since I broke the kiss, which makes me afraid. I was sorry that I had turned her into this person. I'm sorry I ever tried to kiss her. It's not helping that she treats everyone silently either.
Her sorrowful smile stretched to meet mine as her eyes snapped in my way. I looked at her, and she looked hurt. Her face was twisted into what appeared to be pain. "It's not what you mean to say, is it? Will you say that after kissing me? She looked sorrowful as she stated, "I don't know why I'm this repulsive to you to say that you are taking advantage of me and that it wasn't intentional."
She was wearing a dejected expression, and I couldn't help but worry about what I had said incorrectly. Right now, I'm at a loss for words or action. I don't understand. She was staring at me, and I had no idea why.
It's not like that, Freya. I assumed you hated me for taking advantage of you and didn't enjoy the way I kissed you. I couldn't shake the images of you from my mind after our first kiss. I didn't feel like myself the entire time, and now that I have an opportunity to kiss you, it seems like you don't enjoy it. In particular, you were staring at me, which made me think you weren't in favor of it. I breathed heavily and replied, "I thought you would hate me for what I did. I couldn't get you out of my head, and seeing how our lips met, I couldn't help but take advantage of it." She groaned heavily and answered.
"That's not how it is; I was just taken aback by your initiative. She paused and took a big breath before saying, "I don't know if you will ever have the courage to kiss me. I always thought you wouldn't be able to initiate any of this. I thought you were a sweet and good mate." She had just uttered something that I found unbelievable, but I also knew it to be true.
It doesn't seem like I have the courage to kiss my partner or fiancée the way he wants to. I've always been reticent and incapable of doing romantic things. I've always tried my hardest to win Selene over because I want her to like me. As a male, I knew I had to take the initiative, but I've been attempting to do so. I was always grateful that Selene took the lead in all of our private moments together. That makes me pleased every time it does.
"I'm glad you finally took the initiative; I wasn't offended or furious by the kiss. Did you know that after I kiss you, it's difficult for me to focus and think about whatever I'm doing? I tried to avoid you to give the impression that I wasn't desperate, even though I knew it was a nice, private moment that none of us would want to forget. She continued, "I knew that you might have thought that I'm a cheap person, which is why I initiated the kiss in the first place," and I grinned in response. To be honest, I'm not sure what overcame me today to initiate the kiss, but I never feel guilty about it. Even though I knew it was a good thing, I felt guilty about the state of affairs. I would have tried pursuing that since then if I had realized that this is what she has always desired.
"You are my first kiss, and I don't regret ever making you my first kiss. Am I your first kiss?" She remarked, and as soon as I heard her query, my heart stopped. Selene was my first kiss, and even though we haven't had sex, she has always wanted to have sex with me. I'm not sure how to tell her this, but the answer is no.
She is someone who has a strong desire to have sex with me and has always done so, but I have always found a way to get out of it. I've always managed to get out of having sex with her. She told me it doesn't matter since we are engaged, when I always urged her to make that happen on our wedding night. I've always felt that it was all wrong, so I've always wanted to make it happen on our wedding night. I knew that soon something would happen to change our lives, but I didn't think it would. I've always known that something significant was about to happen, but I'm not sure it will be anything like this.
I remarked sadly, "No, you aren't," and she responded with a heavy sigh.
"Have you ever had sex with Selene before?" My heart stopped pounding as soon as I heard Freya ask. I doubt she could find the confidence to pose a question like this.
"I haven't," I candidly said, and she gave a heavy heave as if some weight had been taken off her shoulders. The fact that I hadn't erred in the same way made me delighted as well. I was aware that I wouldn't have the courage to tell her the truth about anything.