SELENE
My weak gene caused me to suffer a heart attack, which I was unable to recover from. Sandra doesn't know about it, and neither does Lucius, because I never tell anyone about it. I had always wished for us to be healthy and live together in harmony. Even though I knew I ought to have told him, I was hesitant. I was going to tell him right away, but then I changed my mind. I was taken aback by the response I saw in the letter Lucius had sent to me. I was aware that the situation would no longer unfold as anticipated.
I was advised not to take on difficult tasks, but I no longer give a damn. Knowing this, the alpha released me from carrying out any pack tasks and instructed Sandra to help me instead. I knew I ought to have been content with the alpha's treatment of me, but I wasn't. My wish is for a calm existence with Lucius, yet it seems that Lucius is the reason for its disintegration. Not only had he brought back my former illness, but he had also made it worse than it had been previously.
Sandra helped me sit on the bed, and as she spoke, I sighed heavily and felt guilty for not listening to her. "I have told you that this is what he would do at last, but you didn't heed my warnings and advice. You should have known that he couldn't be faithful to you forever, but you didn't listen, and now you are sick because of the same reason I had warned you of." I was sorry that, because of him, I had to ignore my best buddy. Since I knew he would never fall in love with her, I had so much faith in him that I didn't see the need to worry or have any reason to be concerned at the time. However, now that the things I had been so afraid of had happened, there was nothing I could do.
Although I was aware that I might not be able to alter the past, I was nevertheless prepared to alter the present. He had said that his only emotion for me was sympathy. He told me that he just did all that because he felt sorry for me, even though I knew it previously and had assumed that I had transformed into love. He told me that his partner is the one who can provide him with the serenity and contentment he seeks, not me. I felt like I had been putting myself on him, even though I knew he was correct, and I'm ready to reverse that.
I brushed away the tears that had spilled from my eyes as I heard footsteps while I was lost in thought. I wouldn't want to worry her about my issues any longer. I wouldn't want to bother her. I would see to it that I got well as quickly as possible and fulfilled my lifelong dream. I will see to it that I exact my retribution on him for heartbreaking me. I never imagined that I would be on my own, and even if I had, I never would have planned it this way.
I heard Sandra remark, "Here is your food," and I just smiled brightly as I looked at her. I was relieved to have someone who could support me during my illness—someone like her. I was mistaken to believe that Lucius was the one person who could support me and would never desert me. I felt horrible about not following Sandra's advice because I was wrong about everything. I feel like a used and discarded woman who is rejected by her fiancé and moves on to someone else. I don't want to experience the grief of losing a loved one to someone else.
I am that food, and I feel a little more at ease knowing that I have someone here who is willing to be here for me no matter what. Sandra had given me something that would always make me grateful. I was aware that following her instructions was the only way I could return her compassion. I was aware that sometimes it might be difficult for me to decide, but I would still make wise choices.
I was aware that Sandra wouldn't understand my need for vengeance because she isn't sensitive to my suffering. If the person you have placed so much faith in betrays your trust, how would you feel? If your significant other sent you a letter ending your engagement, how would you feel? I expected you to feel just as enraged as I do right now. Despite our shared experiences of highs and lows, he chose to betray me in order to benefit himself.
I've resolved not to exact revenge, and not even Sandra can deter me from doing so. I would show him the damage that his breaking of my heart had caused me, even though she might not be aware of it. His sins would all be atoned for by me. I was never going to spare him. I'd see to it that he asked me to forgive him for his transgressions. I was aware that seeking retribution could injure me and most likely result in my death, but I'm not giving up lightly.
Sandra laughed as she got up from her seat and left the room, saying, "I need to go get myself ready for today. I won't want to smell bad while you are seeking good. You might decide to send me away from your presence."
"You're free to go; feel free to depart. I told her, "I really appreciate your efforts for today," and she smiled back at me before leaving the room. "You are welcome," she added, closing the door behind her. I wanted to cry right then and there. I had to hold it in even though she had left my room. I was aware that my behavior was a result of the things that had happened to me.
I was aware that moving on from Lucius would not be simple.
Since I didn't tell my best friend the truth about what was going on with me, I knew that I wasn't being completely honest with her. I was aware that she would have told Lucius about it if I had told her about it all, and I didn't want that to happen. I don't want my situation to make him feel sorry for me again.
I was lost in my thoughts until I noticed Sandra standing there as the door opened. As she walked into the room, she was breathing heavily. Her anxious expression left me wondering why. She had only returned to my room a few minutes earlier, as far as I knew, but she appeared anxious.
"Sandra, what's going on?" I questioned her, suspiciously glancing at her. Not only was I afraid of her behavior, but I was afraid of the way she behaved.
I heard her say, "It's Lucius," and I grimaced in disdain. Even though I didn't want to hear what she had to say, I was aware that I couldn't avoid it.
"How is Lucius doing?" I stare at her, asking a question.
I heard her remark, "A duel had been introduced to all this," and I looked at her expectantly, eager to know what she was saying, but she didn't seem to be speaking.
I told her to stop talking in parables, and she let out a deep sigh.
My heart stopped pounding when she stated, "The councils of werewolves had announced that a duel for who would be Freya's mate would take place, and everyone is allowed to participate." I was in shock at what had transpired. It was unbelievable to me that he would experience something similar. Though it appears he will be doing it, I had assumed he wouldn't.
I asked Sandra, "Please bring me some papers," and she quickly obtained them for me. Lucius should not be at any kind of risk. Though not to this extent, I knew that this was what I had already planned. I should be happy, I know, but I'm not.
I've wanted to get even with him, but not in this manner. I sent him a note advising him not to take part in the duel. I warned him that since additional alphas would be entering the fight, it would be risky for him to take part. He replied quickly, but what I read in the letter brought tears to my eyes. There was nothing I could do to stop him; I knew that much. For the second time, I'm furious and want to murder him right away, but I have to learn to manage my rage.
Worry had caused the wrath to resurface, and this time it was twice as strong.