Selene
It has been days now since I read the reply from Lucius, and to say I'm pleased with his reply is a lie. I was so emotionally unstable for the day that I could hardly eat. I knew that there was nothing I could do to make him mine again, but I still had hopes. I have high hopes, praying and hoping that he comes back to me, but it was all a dream that never came true. I knew that things had taken a new turn and that I should move on from him, but it hurt to know that he had wanted to make Freya her mate, and not only that, but he was ready to fight a duel for her.
I knew that there was nothing wrong with him and that he had his senses intact, but I wondered why he would want to fight the duel even after knowing that he might die. I knew that it might have been because of her wealth and fame, and I knew that he also knew of the fact that he would be made the alpha of her pack if he was mated to her. I have a feeling that he left me for her because I do not have fame or wealth. I feel hurt knowing that my finances went to another woman who is wealthier than me and also of high rank. I haven't once thought of my mate, who was also an alpha, who left me for another person because I was an omega.
I felt hurt knowing that the letter was coming from my fiance, who has always wanted nothing but to cherish me and make me happy. I knew it was bad of me to think he would be with me forever. I have always had this fear in me before he found his mate that he might leave me for his mate, but he has always reassured me, but it seems that has changed. I knew that I shouldn't have expected that the way he was before he was taken away from this pack forcefully. I should have predicted all this and would have prevented myself from getting hurt, but it was too late.
I knew that the more I thought about what had happened, the more I got hurt, but I wasn't able to get it off my mind. I knew that I had to do something that would make things easy for me, and I was advised by Sandra. I knew that Sandra sometimes might be a bad influence on me, but I don't care. All I care about now is how to get rid of the pain in my heart. I knew that there must be something that I can do to get rid of it, but I don't know what it is. The letter he had written back to me was so stuck in my head that I wasn't able to do anything other than wallow in it.
I was glad that the alpha had considered my health and had me under the care of Sandra, whose room was moved to my side. I knew that if I had known, I would have followed Alpha's advice.
Flashback
I was called to the Alpha's office by one of the pack members. I knocked on the door, and I was told to enter. "Good afternoon, Alpha," I said with a radiating smile on my face. I have been sending letters to Lucius, and I am happy about it.
"I called you here because of a serious matter," he started, and my eyes shot toward him with curiosity in my eyes. I knew that whatever he called me here for wasn't something pleasant, and I was starting to worry about Lucius. I knew that the last time he said this to me, it didn't end well.
He told me that Lucius was thrown into the cold room, and now that he called me, I couldn't help but feel giggly about the whole thing. I knew that whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be good.
"Is anything wrong with Lucius?" I asked with fear while staring at him with curiosity in my eyes. I don't know what to do or think of. I knew that whatever it was wasn't going to be good.
"There is nothing wrong with him, but..." he trailed off while staring at me to make sure I was following what he was saying. I couldn't help but be relieved about the whole thing. I was glad that nothing was wrong with him.
"You need to be aware that you might be dumped by Lucius; you aren't with him, and a lot of things might change. The mating bond between them might intensify, and then he would have no choice but to accept her. The mating bond between them will be strong because she is an alpha," the alpha said, and I stared at him with an offended look in my eyes. I knew that what he said was true, but I have faith in him. I don't know what made me believe that he would be mine regardless of anything.
Flashback Ended
I knew that if I had listened to the alpha, then things wouldn't have turned out like this. I knew that things would have been better. I knew that if I had listened, then I would not be as hurt as I am. I couldn't help but wonder why I trusted him so much. Men are nothing but scoundrels; all they go about doing is deceiving ladies.
They do whatever they want without giving the ladies a chance to talk or express themselves. All they want is to get their wish done without caring who gets hurt. I knew that if it had been before and I hadn't found out about the recent happenings and I heard someone saying this, then I would have disagreed, but now I was the one saying this. I knew that things couldn't get better anymore. I have to take up Sandra's advice, or I will be stuck in my room, wallowing in thoughts and sadness.
Sandra had told me that I shouldn't care about Lucius anymore and that I would be able to do whatever I wanted. I would get my freedom. There is a place that was like a clubhouse for everyone. I knew it might be Coke as a surprise, but it wasn't. The place was far from the pack's house; it was located deep in the bush. There was a cave in the place, and the cave had lots of rooms and space. I once went there with Lucius when we were kids, but the place hadn't been developed then.
The place is used as a clubhouse, and there were lots of things that were brought from the human world. Although I haven't seen them, I have heard of them from Sandra. One can get laid in the place. That was what I was advised to do. I was advised by Sandra, and I don't want to abide by it, but I then realized that there was nothing in it. I'm not a virgin anymore; my mate once had sex while taking my virginity. He had promised to take me with him to his pack, but he lied. He didn't, and he used me that night.
Lucius stood by me all this time, and when we started dating, he didn't touch me, but he promised to do so on our wedding night, which I doubt could happen. I knew that he had his own freedom wherever he was, and I can also have mine since he doesn't care about me. I would start going to the house club every day and drink myself to stupor. I heard that I won't remember anything after I'm drunk and that I will be free of all the pains I'm feeling in my heart.