And so tomorrow came, I looked carefully at the envelope and placed it on my bed side table.
I couldn't forget the address and the terms listed there. I tried to convince myself that someone just tripped me or maybe it just got lost there. I tried to squeeze in my mind normal and everything was fine.
But I was anxious the whole day, my brain can't function the plates given by Ms. Almasid. All day I pretended to understand all that. My cold inbox added even more. Levi didn't text me the whole day, after we talked yesterday I didn't receive any calls.
He messaged me goodnight last night and that's it. I was so harsh to him yesterday, and I felt guilty. Knowing him? I'm sure if he wasn't angry he would have just given me what I wanted. I don't know myself.
I decided to be like this but now that he is giving it to me I am losing myself. I want him to be apart of me but when he's not around I kept on looking for him. I can just see that he is angry even though I am not the reason I always want to apologize.
I seriously can't understand myself. I don't know how I'm going to handle it all yet. I couldn't take it anymore and got up to go to the desk. My footsteps slowed and made a peek to see if they were doing anything there and accommodate my questions. The clerk sensed my presence and smiled at me immediately.
"Did ... Engineer Vidalio called?" I blinked a few times. Can't believe that I was actually asking that question. The clerk's expression was so meaningful that I blushed. Damn it.
"No, Ms. Suarez."
"Ah, okay ... Thank you."
The smile was raw and I immediately turned my back on them. Feeling so ashamed of what I just did. If he wants to message he will message you! Don't act like a girlfriend because you don't have one! I was embarrassed and almost narrowed my eyes as I returned to my office, cursing myself a few times because of so much embarrassment.
"Is my son around?" My foot stopped automatically hearing that voice. That gruffy and taunting voice that I will never be able to forget. My breath hitched and an unfamiliar coldness dripped to my stomach like a vast ocean. I felt strange bitterness and dizziness.
"He's out of town ma'am, scheduled to check and supervise the project site." I heard a babe answer him there at the desk.
"Oh, really? It's good you still know where my son is." She laughed. I felt a strange sensation in my neck from that laugh.
"He's out of reach so ..." It was as if I was frozen there and could not leave, my knees shaking as I stepped on my door. I'm sure she noticed me already. I don't know how to act at this moment, I know I will come to this point but now I still don't know what to do.
"Hey miss,"
My legs almost wobble when I heard her calling, not sure if I'm the one she called but who cares? I made a few seconds into my mind before facing him. I saw how her eyes turned stunned, seems like she's unable to speak and can't believe what she was seeing but still remained graceful and calm.
So am I, but unlike him I know mine. Meeting her eyes this close were like a slap of my past. I will never forget her jealous eyes back then. The strong touch of his palm on my cheek and his cries never left my mind.
Above all the nightmare he gave me, nightmare that you will never wake up. She's the reason why I'm alone. Why mom and dad are gone. The reason why my brother is this miserable.
"You're here. "
I'm almost amaze how her eyes turned so confident and unbothered. Like I know she's aware of my presence, with the amount of news spread, it's impossible for her not to know that I'm in the Philippines and that she even used her son.
"Is this your way of revenge now?"
Angry eyes were just the start, then came the slamming and distressful words. But if then I was able to suffocate all that now I am not. I once imagine this scene while I'm struggling and putting up all my blood sweat and tears working the shit out of me with all those tiring projects, whenever I think I don't want to model this is the only thing I'll handle.
I imagined her seeing the girl she insulted and underestimated back in Mar De Vena is different than before. I want her to clearly see what I want to portray. That I could forgive but I will never forget.
"You look well, different from the awful little girl in Mar De Vena."
Her lips rose and her eyes are lazy, the resemblance of her face and her son can be shown. Levi caught his sharp eyes as if he could be insulted just by its stare. I covered my mouth with what he said. I saw the women at the desk whispering. I could just probably throw another hurtful words and insulting words for her but I'm not like that.
My anger is too much but I can endure it well, because I know eventually, every word that comes out of my mouth I will only regret as well.
"So you and my son are back together."
She crossed her arms on her chest and her yellow designer bag dangled on her wrist like nothing. My eyes were shaking and I could barely breathe from holding back all that he said or would say.
She noticed my unbreakable silence and eye contact to her, she shook her head slowly and hissed. In what he did it was as if he was saying he was wasting time with someone like me. As if he felt sorry for the last word he uttered.
"You know that he's supposed to be married now right? I took everything from him, even the company he worked for a long time. But I guess he will always come running back to you huh?"
"I'm doing your son a favor ma'am. Don't worry because I only borrowed him from you for a while."
I told him long ago. She laughed mockingly at my statement. I was even more insulted by what he did. If his son is getting married then hell, that's what I give him.
Even the company I know he spent a lot of time with was taken from him for what? Because she just wants to marry it to someone else? What kind of a mother will do that?
"I know what you're doing lady, your fancy clothes can't cover up the damage that has been done between us. Didn't I told you this before? You're seeing yourself way to high up."
Her words slashed like a cold sharp metal. From the very beginning of what he said. This is how he thinks of me no matter how different I am, no matter how much I wear nice clothes, he still thinks of me as garbage.
"Fine, if that's your way of your revenge then fine. But think about this lady, seeing my son will always remind you the sin that your family has done to mine. You will look at him in the eyes and remember all the agony that needs to be felt. While my son will look at you as he remembers how much pain he went through when your mother was enjoying wealth with my wife. "
My chest became heavier. It hurts, it feels like I will faint at all that she says.
She just spoke everything that I can't say and admit. But I can't still understand her. How come she has the right to say that? That in spite of everything they should have remorse because they are murderers.