I envy those people who forgets in a blink of an eye. I'm the type of person who dwells on something so much, even if it takes a long time I still can't forget. It's hard to imagine because when it comes to others I can easily forgive, but when it comes to myself I can't forgive. I don't know how I balanced those two, forgetting and forgiving.
Different but always be together.
"We seriously need a security for you, Cyreese. Your bashers are getting off hand."
I just glanced at Tita and looked at the wound on my arm. It was small but quite deep so it bled. I can still feel her grip on my skin. I can't forget Mariel's look, her dress, the way she looks - everything.
"I know her tita. She used to be ... a friend of mine."
I remember those times we had in Mar De Vena. It was as if I felt something sweet and bitter, longing for the past and sadness. Back then I was so happy they became my friends, they were one of the reasons why my sadness was filled during those times.
Although, some of them did not actually see me or treated me as their real friend, who knows.? Just young Ava was content with the little attention. How are they? I can't believe that I would be seeing Mariel here.
Others are also here in Manila. How about Oli? His son and Chloe? I can't help but to miss them.
"You know her? At first glance Cyreese, she looks like she's out of her mind."
I ignored her and thought about what had happened.
"What did she tell you? It's good to include her in the investigation, maybe later what else will she do to you in the next few days."
I shook my head lightly. I stared at the soft and furry blanket that wrapped half of my body.
"Just let it go aunt. Maybe she won't be able to enter VREC again."
But deep down I still couldn't get what he was saying out of my mind. She keeps on saying that someone wants to kill her. Even though Mariel wasn't good to me then, what she says still bothers me, she's asking for my help and my conscience is telling me that there's something wrong and I have to make a way for it.
"Well if that's what you want. But you need a body guard hija."
"I'm fine by myself aunt. This is just the first time something like that has happened and besides, people in VREC respect me not what you're expecting it to be."
I thought about what the clerk had said earlier about Levi's order that no one could come near me. I don't know if I'll be happy there or what.
"I'm with you whenever there are projects and shoots, so please, give me a break."
She sighed looking at me.
Apparently didn't like what I said but could do nothing. My phone on the bedside table rang. We both looked over there and Levi's name came up. I don't know if I will tell him what happened today. He probably already knew that.
Just by his commands I know that he can put everything in his palms. I leaned my head on the head board of the bed.
I close my eyes, I can feel the soreness of my body. I don't know how I should feel about his demands, everything is getting more and more confusing to me. Lucy's words and my own conscience weigh heavily on the world I carry.
"Mind telling me your problem? That can't be reduced if you just keep it to yourself."
I stare my tired eyes and aunt reached out her hand and caressed it. Sometimes Tita Matilda was really cruel, but she was also the mother of Lourd and me. She's not just our manager but she's also our councilor and someone to talk to. She knows our secrets and sentiments. I'm glad we have her.
"Tita, what do I do now?"
My eyes heated upon seeing her eyes with so much compassion and motherly sight. She placed both of her hands on my hands, my attention focused there.
"It's been almost 4 years when I took a glance of your eyes way back in Mar De Vena. So far nothing has changed. You're still like a sheep that can't be hurt."
I chuckled at what she said. Laughing at his sudden re-reminiscence. "You were so innocent and prim. I doubted if you could ever survive in this chaotic and toxic industry but look at you now." I smiled.
"You two are very different from your brother. What hardens his heart is the softness of yours. That's why you guys are able to do this together."
Clouds of tears formed in my eyes. My sister and I have been thinking about everything since we left Mar De Vena.
So many fights, differences and problems. Everyone still thought the two of us lived in New York. It's tearful that we have to hide that we are siblings just to give way for his family.
At the end of the day, no matter how much pain he inflicted on that family, he still wanted to protect them from scandal. Because there I had more reason to take strength from him, I thought I wasn't grateful enough.
"But this is the thing you should know. Your brother is your strength and you are your brother's weakness. Everything your brother allowed to happen for you, and everything you did for him."
A tear fell in my eye. Followed by many, I bit my lips to suppress the sob in my throat. He pinned the hair behind my ear.
"You've been through a lot already. Sometimes choosing yourself is the best decision to make, being selfish is being selfless. Whatever your decision is, I know you're wise enough to find a way."
Maybe she's right. In some aspects and perspective she's correct. But in my shoe, choosing one of them feels like jumping into a cliff. When you jump you are not sure if you will survive. You both lose and win.
"Good morning, Ms. Suarez."
"Good morning."
I smiled at the clerk when I arrived at my floor. I entered early because I wanted to study carefully the sample projects given to me by Ms. Almasid yesterday.
I hung the blazer dress I was carrying on the back of the swivel chair because it was a bit hot so I didn't wear it first. The air con had just turned on so I let my tailored shorts and black strap top go first. At 10 o'clock when I saw the cellphone ring on my desk, I pulled back my laptop and answered the call.
"Olivia?"
"Girrrrrrl !!!"
I immediately put the phone away from my ear because of the intensity of the scream that came out of me.
"Good morning."
"Good morning! Well, Uhm, it's Jade's Birthday tomorrow. So I'm gonna ask you out if you're available."
I looked at the time on my screen. Isn't it too early to babysit this one?
"But I have to work tomorrow."
"Work my ass! It's still night! Jade's birthday, do you want her to get mad at you?"
I scratched my forehead. Why would her best friend get mad at me? We're not even close.
"I'll keep an eye on Olivia, I can't-"
"I won't give you a drink! Just please, pleaseee! Just come with me because I'm sure I don't have a partner there again!"
Now I'm torn. What can I do if he already uses that tone? Outside I saw the clerk at the desk approaching the door. I raise my hand a gesture telling for her to wait.
"Fine Olivia, where are you? Send me the address."
"Yey! No need. I'll drop by to your unit. Let's go together. Bye!"
I sighed. I stood up and the clerk immediately peered out the door.
"Engineer Vidalio called. He's asking if you arrived already, your line is busy."