The door opens and I glance up, feeling incredibly sleep deprived. I don't know how many hours I've sat here, beside Leroy, unblinking. Tobias takes one look at me and rushes towards me, pulling me into him. I cling onto him tightly, tears pooling up in my eyes.
"Thank you, thank you so much for being here." I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. His scent calms me down and his hand rubs soothing circular motions on my back.
"I feel so guilty Tobias, it's my fault." I sniffle. He pulls back, his eyebrows creased together heavily. I search his eyes, expecting to see judgement clouding them but just as always, there's not a trace of any.
"Don't you dare say that, you're not to blame for this." He says firmly, taking a seat beside me. I immediately reach for his hand, intertwining our fingers together. I need to have some sort of human contact but his warmth is better than anyone else's. I tear my eyes off him and turn to look at Leroy. He hasn't moved an inch and the doctors have said he's still in critical condition.
"He's going to be okay Trish, he looks like a little fighter." Tobias says quietly, giving my hand a squeeze. I smile despite the tears rolling down my cheeks.
"He is a little fighter."
I need to change the subject because I feel like I'm about to break down, again. Lately, it's felt like my life has been spinning into a downward hole, growing darker and darker. The only source of light I have guiding me right now is Tobias and my father.
"How is Emily and Ruby doing? I haven't spoken to her in a few days." I smile, reaching up to brush away the tears. I sniffle and Tobias squeezes my hand again, letting me know he's beside me.
"She's doing good. Ruby is already a crazy baby, she screams the house down every night." He chuckles quietly and I laugh, grateful for the distraction.
"And Jake? Is he coping?" I ask, missing my best friends. I decided to give them some space for a few days to enjoy their precious little newborn. She's the most incredible beautiful little girl, large brown eyes and thick dark hair.
"Jake is in love with her, so am I." Tobias says quietly, a small smile on his lips. His voice grows fond and loving every time he mentions his niece and it warms my heart.
"Do you have a picture?" I ask him, and he nods, pulling out his phone from his black jacket.
"My entire camera roll is full of photo's." He chuckles, scrolling through them. He lands on one and turns the screen towards me, his brown eyes lighting up.
"I dressed her up in a princess dress in this picture. She'd just been bathed so her hair is all curly and crazy."
I take hold of his phone, my face lighting up at the adorable picture of my best friends daughter. Her large eyes are open, staring directly at the camera. She's dressed in a frill white and pink dress complete with a set of baby pink socks. Tobias is right, her dark hair is curled tightly and slightly damp and I coo over how adorable she is.
"She's going to be a heart breaker when she's older." I smile, making a mental note to call Emily later. I don't want her to know about Leroy, it'll only end up making her worry for me.
"Boys are not going anywhere near my niece." Tobias teases and I grin at how protective he already is over her. I open my mouth to respond but the sound of urgent beeping fills the air, startling me. I drop the phone from my hand and it falls in my lap but my eyes snap towards Leroy. The machines around me begin to increasingly beep like crazy --
"What's happening?" I cry out in fear, my eyes wide. I glance at his heart rate monitor, my heart completely stopping and falling into the pit of my stomach. I jump up from my seat and within a split second, numerous doctors and nurses burst through the door, chattering loudly. My eyes widen further and I feel frozen to the spot as they begin to crowd around Leroy.
"What, w-what's happening?!" I yell, my legs shaking underneath me. A nurse approaches me, her eyes lit up in worry.
"We need you to leave."
"No!" I scream, unable to see Leroy anymore. I desperately try to make out what the doctors are saying but the sound of the beeps grows louder, pounding through my ears.
"You need to go, now." The nurse says, signalling at the door. I ignore her, my entire body trembling.
"Leroy?!" I yell, fighting amongst the doctors around me to get to him. I feel arms wrap around my waist from behind, tugging me away.
"Get off me! Tobias! No!" I scream, tears spilling down my cheeks. I can't tear my eyes away from the scene unfolding in front of me. I fight and struggle against him but it's no use, he's too strong. He pulls me into his chest, lowering his head into the crook of my neck.
"Let them do their job, please Sugar." He whispers, dragging me out of the door. I shake my head profusely, my heart breaking and shattering into a million pieces the further I get.
"Hold on Leroy! Please hold on," I cry out, my voice breaking to match the way my heart feels. Eventually, the door shuts and I'm locked in the corridor outside, alone with my sanity slipping away.
I let out a loud sob, falling to the floor. Beside me, Tobias' face fills with fear despite how much he's trying to keep himself calm.
*****
"Drink this Trish, it'll warm you up."
"It's not the cold that's making me shake," I whimper, taking the hot chocolate from him anyway. My entire body feels numb and beside me, Dad is completely silent. His leg keeps shaking up and down and I know he's trying his best to keep himself under control.
"How long has it been?" I whisper. Tobias sits himself down beside me, exhaling deeply. He glances at his watch --
"Five minutes."
I snap my head towards him, my features crumpled up in confusion.
"Only five minutes?"
He nods grimly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. Dad is so zoned out that he doesn't even acknowledge the affection from Tobias. Any other day and he'd be questioning him for hours over his intentions with me. Right now, its like he can't even hear me.
The door opens and I immediately stand to my feet, searching the doctors face. He walks in, his expression completely neutral.
"Is Leroy okay?" I ask quickly. Beside me, Dad stands up beside me, also waiting for an answer. I reach out for his hand, clutching it tightly. I can feel him shaking beside me.
"I want you all to take a seat." The doctor says quietly. My blood runs cold and I shake my head at him, my free hand clenched into a fist.
"No, please tell us what's going on." I say firmly, reaching out with my hand towards Tobias' direction. Within a second, I feel his warm hand slip in mine and he stands up, on the other side of me. We all look at the doctor, desperation and pain in our eyes.
His eyes fall to the floor and he clenches his jaw, his entire body language screaming remorse and guilt.
"I'm so sorry for your loss. We did everything we could."
My father falls to his knees in front of me, his pained scream filling the room and bouncing off the walls. I stand frozen to the spot, my face emotionless. Beside me, Tobias sucks in a breath, closing his eyes.
"You're wrong, he can't be gone!" I scream at the doctor, glancing down at my father who was breaking down in pieces right in front of me. The doctor swallows before looking directly at me --
"I'm so sorry."
A hand wraps around my heart, squeezing it with so much force, it feels like it explodes in my chest. My vision blurs, my blood runs cold and I feel my legs give out underneath me. I fall to my knees beside my father, my hands covering my mouth in complete shock.
"G-Gone, he's gone."
I completely detach myself from everything because all I feel is pain.