Talliah Eryn Castillego POV
Rainer's cries and sobs dominated the quiet room. My chest is aching and tightened when I saw him so weak while hugging my son. My son hugged him so tight securing his father in his cute little arms.
Tallan always whispered that it's okay that he actually understands him. Rainer has no idea that he has children but my children knows their father. If things just okay back then. I would not leave him and hide our twins. But for his sake it's okay to be hurt than seeing him lose his dreams.
My eyes widened a bit when I saw Rainer slowly standing up. Tallan looked curiously at his Dadda. Rainer gave him a small smile before storming out of the room.
I bit my lower lip to stop my sobs when my son started to walk towards me. He innocently looked at me with his tears kept on falling down to his cheeks.
"Momma, I'm not dreaming right? Dadda is really here? I'm not hallucinating right?" Tallan asked in a hopeful voice while biting his lower lip.
I knelt in front of him and wiped the tears away from his cheeks. I nodded my head repeatedly and smiled warmly at him. He is real Tallan. Your Dadda is here.
"He's real. Your Dadda is real..." I mumbled with my trembling lips.
Tallan's face immediately brightened.
"I'm so sure Raiah would cry because of too much happiness to see Dadda. Because Momma, that's how I feel right now. My heart was so happy to see Dadda."
"He's not busy anymore Momma?" Tallan asked me curiously
I shook my head and smiled at him. I'm hurting inside knowing that I'm lying to them. If they find out that their father doesn't know them. Would they hate me? It's not yet even happening, yet I'm already hurting.
I caressed Tallan cheeks "You sleep now okay? Beside your sister. Dadda and I will just talk. Is it okay?" I asked while caressing his cheeks. Tallan obediently nodded his head.
He kissed my cheeks before climbing up to bed. I smiled when I saw him fix the blanket on his sister's body.
"Raiah get well so soon, Momma and I have a surprise for you when you wake up," Tallan whispered in his sister's ears that made me cry. He planted a small kiss on his sister's forehead.
Seeing that they were fine. I wasted no time and quickly left the room. I hurriedly went downstairs to find Rainer. I stopped when I saw Lana crying in the living room. Her eyes are so fluffy but she still gives me an encouraging smile and pointed outside.
I approached her and hugged her tightly which made her cry even more.
"Everything will be okay hmm. Go to sleep already. You did well Lana. Thank you for everything." I said softly and stroked her back. Lana followed me quickly and went upstairs to sleep.
She deserves to take a rest. She had done too much for me.
With my heart beating so loudly inside my ribcage. I tried to find Rainer. I felt like I was going to be deaf from my heart pounding so harshly as I walked to find Rainer.
Hope started to rose when I heard someone's cry. I'm so sure that it was my baby. I quickly followed the sound of crying. I went to the side of the house. My lips parted a bit when I saw my baby punching the wall like it's a damn boxing ring. Oh my God! What the hell is he doing?!
"What the fuck Rainer!" I shouted that made Rainer stop for a moment.
But he still didn't stop punching the hard wall while his shoulders rose due to intense crying. I walked faster towards him.
"Please stop what you're doing right now!" I gritted my teeth and immediately grabbed his arms.
But because of his strength I couldn't pull him completely.
"I'm so stupid... I'm just so stupid..." Rainer punched the wall again making me mad and cry because of so much frustration.
"Rainer I said stop it!" I said and pulled his blood-stained hand.
I cried when I saw the red blood on his fist. I glared at him angrily but it suddenly disappeared when I saw his eyes staring at me. His brown orbs have so many emotions. I saw how his pained eyes looked softly at me.
My tears started to flow again without my fucking consent after seeing how he looked at me softly. Why is he like that? He should be mad at me! For lying and for hurting him! He shouldn't be looking at me with his soft eyes! Because I have committed a sin!
But instead of seeing anger in his eyes. I saw how he's so sorry. I cried when he hugged me so tightly that I buried my face in his chest.
I heard how fast the beating of his heart. Rainer's shoulders lowered as my grip tightened on his clothes.
"I'm s-sorry... I didn't know..." He whispered with his pained voice while caressing my hair.
"I'm sorry if I'm stupid. I'm sorry if I didn't know anything. I'm sorry if I didn't think about your feelings then. I'm so sorry if I'm so insensitive and immature back then. I'm so sorry T-Talliah." his voice cracked as he hugged me tighter.
"I don't think I deserve a woman like you. You are too perfect for someone like me. Just thinking about what you went through in the past year hurts me." he whispered softly as he inhaled.
"If you think I'm mad at you, you're wrong... I'm mad at myself. I'm so mad of myself right now. I want to beat myself for making you cry always."
I looked up at him and tried to calm down my extremely fast heartbeat. I cupped Rainer's cheeks that made him close his eyes. I saw how his fresh tears kept falling.
Instead of anger I received from him, I received something else. I didn't expect he would say sorry I expected he would lash out and be mad at me.
I forgot that he was different from all the men I knew. He is an understanding person. He doesn't make a decision without thinking. His mindset is so far different from the other men.
I forgot he was Caelan Rainer Vassamonte. The man I'm in love with. the man who is so understanding as fuck.
"It's not your fault okay? I am the one to blame... I'm so stubborn. I decided on my own even if I know that the action I will do will put myself into risk." I mumbled while biting my lower lip.
Rainer looked at me intensely. the tears still don't stop.
"I'm so sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry baby for hurting you." I promised in a low voice.
"Do you have to think about my welfare in everything you do and decide?" he asked in a soft voice.
I shyly looked away. but Rainer held my jaw to steady my eyes on him.
"Answer Talliah," he said in an emphatic voice.
I looked at him and nodded my head.
"Why?" he asked with his pained voice.
I looked deeply into his eyes. Don't ask why Rainer 'cause I have so many reasons. I took a deep breath and pushed away the tears that wouldn't stop falling. I held Rainer's hand that made him jump a bit. My heart ached even more when I saw his bloody fist.
I looked up and saw Rainer still looking at me waiting for my answer.
I raised my hand and softly caressed his face without breaking our eye contact.
"Caelan Rainer should be my top priority. He's my dream. The only man that I want in my life. He's the reason why I'm keeping myself alive. His smile always reminding me that I have the reason to be alive even if I'm hurting inside."
"Caelan Rainer is the reason why I want to wake up everyday. He's the reason why my heart keeps on beating faster. He's the man who made me crazy. He's the man who made me feel so many emotions." I muttered while sobbing in front of him.
Rainer took a breath while staring at him. He cursed softly and wiped the tears from my cheeks.
"He's the only man I want to be mine. I said to myself that I'm willing to wait for him. I will always wait for him. I won't get tired..."
My lips trembled as I said all the words I wanted to say even though my chest was too tight.
"I would do anything and everything for him. Everything. Even if I have nothing left, as long as he falls for me."
"Caelan Rainer shouldn't be hurt... no one should hurt my baby... But funny when I am the one who's hurting him right now..." I breathe hard when my heart hurts badly inside.
Rainer quickly hugged me very tightly. He showered my head so many kisses.
"I'm s-sorry please stop crying. You didn't hurt me. I hurt myself myself. Sorry." he whispered with so much pain.
"That's why it should be my decision to think about him. I think about his welfare. It can't be otherwise." Rainer hugged me tighter until he buried his face in the side of my neck.
I felt the warm liquid running down my shoulder. Rainer hugged me tightly not wanting to let me go.
"My children are handsome and beautiful." he suddenly whispered that made me blink my eyes.
He really won't be angry with me?
"You're not mad?" I asked in a raspy voice. Rainer shook his head and kissed my jaw.
"Why would I when they still know me even if I'm not with them as they grow up. my son even so excited after seeing me. He's not even mad at me. Why should I be angry if they themselves are not angry with me..."
Rainer gently caressed my cheek. He softly kissed my forehead.
"Hush now. Your tears are making my heart weak." he whispered.
The peacefulness of the night is making me hear the beating of Rainer's heart. I calmed myself down. Rainer caressed my back to calm me down as he softly kissed my temple.
"You know his hugs are so good," he muttered and broke the silence.
"He really looks exactly like me." You can hear the joy in his voice. Small smile plastered on my lips after hearing his words.
I hugged him tighter. Oh God! I thought this amazing man wouldn't accept my twins. But I think it's so wrong.
"And I saw the cute little girl sleeping peacefully. she looks exactly like my Talliah." My heart jumped a bit at his words. Please heart calm down.
"They're twins?" asked Rainer to which I immediately nodded.
Rainer held my waist tightly. He sighed and caressed my waist gently.
I buried my face more in his chest.
"What else are you hiding from me? I want to know all of your secrets. I don't want us to stay like these." he uttered weakly.
"I have no secrets anymore. The twins are my biggest secret. They're the reason why I suddenly left you," I said while caressing his back.
"You sure?" he asked reassuringly. He wasn't satisfied yet and he looked at me hard.
He licked his lips and sighed afterwards when he saw that I'm not lying.