EPILOGUE
Caelan Rainer Vassamonte POV
EVERYTIME I LOOK at her blue orbs I've realized that she's the woman that never in my wildest dreams would make my heart so weak and vulnerable.
She's the woman who taught me the real meaning of love. I thought I was sure about the person I wanted. that she is the girl I want to date and marry. But when Talliah suddenly came into my life. He continued to enter my heart and I couldn't even stop him.
I smiled when I saw my two angels walking down the aisle. Caelliah wearing her violet dress cutely walk while throwing the petals of rose from the basket she held in her hand. My daughter is really a beauty. She's so pretty like her Momma. While Tallan beside her is walking handsomely while holding the ring. He's our ring bearer.
I can't help but admire my children because they take pictures of Talliah and I's faces. As the days passed, I got to know them better and I can say that the attitude we have with the twins has changed.
"Dadda! You're so handsome!" Caelliah shouted and giggled afterwards. My heart swelled at her words. She gave me a thumbs up and gave me a flying kiss. I can't help but to laugh at her naughtiness.
I mouthed I love you to her making her eyes gleam with tears and happiness. I saw small tears fall from his eyes.
"I love you too my Dadda." she shouted again while wiping her face. Tallan quickly attended to her and helped her to wipe his twin tears away.
Slowly Tallan looked at me with his serious face.
"Where's my I love you Dadda?" he asked in a cautious voice. I laughed and smiled. I want to approach them and hug them tightly but I can't yet because the ceremony will be ruined.
I love you too Raelan I mouthed to him making him smile a bit. I saw how happiness danced in his brown orbs. Tallan is really my carbon copy and I'm so proud that I'm his Dad.
"I love you too Daddy." He mouthed to me.
I gasped when I felt my heart tightened because of so much happiness. What did I do to give me these children? It was not my plan to have a child before, but the night I saw Tallan, my perspective suddenly changed.
I felt someone walking towards me so it grabbed my attention. I smiled when I saw my Dad proudly looking at me. He gently ruffled my hair so it was out of order. We laughed together when our brown orbs met.
I saw him wipe the tears from his eyes. He breathed while looking at me.
"Do you know that Daddy is so proud of you?" he asked in a raspy voice. I nodded to him.
"You always said that to me Dad." I muttered while smiling.
"Your mom and I are very lucky because of you and your brother. it's like just then I was leading you in my arms, now you're getting married and starting your own family. Memorize what I taught you. I know I raised you well. Daddy loves you." he said causing me to hug him tightly.
"Thank you Dad. I love you too. you are their Mama." My Father gently patted my back.
I grew up in a home with a happy family. Even without wealth, we are still full of love. My parents raised us well and I'm so proud and happy 'cause they're my parents.
I want to be a sensible father to my children like my Dad. I will make them feel the love of a father. Even if I was caught in the past, I will promise that I will always be there for them until the end.
I felt the sweat on my palms while listening to the extremely strong drum of my heart. My heart is drumming wildly inside my chest. It's like I don't hear any noise but my heart while waiting for the girl I love.
The song Come home to me by Lèon started playing when the door slowly opened revealing the bride.
I left in pouring rain
Saying I wouldn't be home again
I felt my hot tears slowly falling down to my cheeks making them wet. I fisted my hand when I felt my heart ready to burst out anytime soon. I saw Talliah wearing her white wedding gown walking beautifully in the aisle.
I smiled when I saw him sobbing while looking at me. My Obsessed Talliah is so pretty even when she's crying real bad. I saw how her shoulder was shaking while looking at my eyes. hey Mommy we're getting married.
I get so caught between everything I feel
I'm stubborn and I won't say sorry
Write it out 'cause I know that you worry
Wonder where I've been
Got you questioning
She came back unexpectedly. I didn't even expect her face to show up after I realized that I kissed another girl when I'm drunk. I thought I've cheated on her. I breathed a sigh of relief that she was the girl.
The joy in my heart that he came back is heavier than the mask engraved in my heart. I would gladly embrace her tightly if she came back. If she comes home to me. I'm not mad at her because I know she has a reason and that reason is what I must know to enlighten me and remove the fear etched in my heart. and I also know in my heart that she will come home to me even if she leaves. She will come back and come back to me.
I don't know why I am so afraid of the truth that Talliah can leave me so effortless. Because I know she can do it. She did it the first time and it's not unlikely that she won't do it again.
I don't want sleep until I feel that she's still awake. I first make sure that she can sleep soundly before I go to sleep and I make sure that I am the first to wake her up to watch her every move. I don't know if I'm afraid or I'm just being paranoid.
I would wake up at 3am in the morning to make sure that she was still beside me. I'm afraid that I might wake up again without her by my side. sometimes I don't sleep again even though I know she probably won't leave, she probably won't leave me again.
I always just look at her peaceful face in the morning. Memorizing every detail of her face.
I can't help but to tear up when I saw my name tattooed on her butt cheeks. Men she's so damn hot wearing my name. What if she already wear my last name?
I was beyond happy while looking at her ass. Damn I still can't believe that she tattooed my name. I can't help it so I took a picture of it. My eyes gleamed in happiness when I saw my wallpaper. My mommy is so darn hot.
I also tattooed her name on each side of my V-line. I think I'm the happiest graduate that time when I saw her smiling proudly at me. I want to go to her, hug and kiss her. I hope she will come back to me. I hope she will make me understand why she left because no matter what reason she would say, I will understand her.
I was going to expand my mind to understand her better but I stopped myself. It was enough for me to see her on the most important day of my life.
I still remember how she cried while looking at the stage where I was. She's even more emotional compared to my Mom as if she is my Mom.
I tired my eyes looking at her behind the crowd. She doesn't belong in the back because she belongs in the front so everyone can see how beautiful she is.
Even though it hurt when I saw her leave slowly after the ceremony, I forced myself to accept that she left again. I always ask if she will come back. If she comes back when? Will she take me back? How many years will I wait for her? She can just take me with her wherever she wants to go.
No matter where she takes me, I can just see her, hug her and be with her.
So one night the fear in my heart suddenly returned. The fear of her leaving while I was sleeping is happening again. I quickly got out of bed and looked for a T-shirt and shorts. I quickly put it on and quickly left the room.
But Talliah, what's up? If I hadn't woken up because of your behavior I wouldn't have known that you would leave me again. I washed my right palm on my face while driving. I tried to follow the car in which she was riding.
I don't know but my chest suddenly tightened when I heard how soft his voice was while talking to someone on the phone. I'm her only man, right? I'm the only one he loves, right? Fuck it who's the man she's calling?
I sped up the car just to catch up with her. I can't stop my tears when they started streaming down without my permission. Even though I was hurt, I still managed to admire how fast he drove.
Damn woman are you a racer? I almost couldn't catch her but I managed.
I quickly got out of the car when I saw him ahead with a man. Who is that? He seems so very familiar to me. Will she leave me again? Please Talliah don't leave me again. I can't take it anymore.
"Talliah!" I shouted with so much rage in my voice.
You can't leave me I can't handle it anymore. Talliah I'm scared. I saw how her eyes widened when she saw me angrily looking at her. Based on the reaction on her face, I can tell that she's really leaving.
"Damn it!" I muttered a curse when I realized that she would leave me again.
"What's going on?! Fuck! You're going to leave me again?!"
Please tell me you're not leaving me. Why is it so easy for you to leave me while I'm sleeping? Is it easy to leave me? I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I don't care if the man she's with sees me crying. I don't care if he would call me gay. I just want my wife not to leave me again.
I quickly hugged her tightly causing her to breathe hard. I buried my face in the side of her neck. I want her to know that I want to go with her. Wherever she goes, I will come with her, I just don't let her leave me.
I won't ask where and why she's leaving because she might get irritated as long as she just takes me with her. Wherever she goes, even in hell, I am ready to go with her.
Talliah sounds like a difficult book. Even if you memorize every page over and over and read it carefully, you still can't read her. She's so very hard to predict. I don't know what's going through her mind.
But I want to understand her as much as I can because I love her.
I felt mixed emotions after seeing my son. Maybe we have a child? Twins! I couldn't stop crying because of so much joy and pain. Why didn't she said it to me? Why did she hide it?
And memories from the past stab my heart. The twenty one year old Caelan Rainer is not yet ready to be a father because he still has many dreams. And I realized that this was one of the reasons why I lost the girl I love.
Caelan you are stupid! You're so fucking immature! Do you really deserve Talliah? Because it doesn't seem like it.
Talliah is so brave for raising our twins. She's so brave for raising them alone. How did she manage that?
I bit my lower lip to stop my sobs getting louder when I started playing one of their videos.
I saw Talliah's beautiful face while adjusting the camera. She smiled pretty making me smile too. She arranged the twins on either side of her before slowly waving at the camera. My heart clenched while seeing her bright face but her eyes seem sad and longing for someone.
"Hi baby!" She cheerfully waved her right hand at the camera. While the twins on both sides of her were silent, curiously looking at her every move.
"Congratulations! You made it! I'm so very proud of you!" She said in a happy voice as her tears slowly fell. She chuckled lightly while wiping her cheeks.
"I hope I can hug you so tight right now and whisper to your ears how much I'm so proud of you. I have an Engineer. You can fulfill your dreams. I'm always here for you. I look at you from away. I badly want to kiss and hug you because finally you did it. But I just can't... I badly missed you so much baby..." she muttered while crying.
I looked up and leaned my head against the back of the sofa and let the tears roll down my cheeks. She sacrificed a lot for me. She left me for my own good too. I shut my eyes tightly when her face during her pregnancy flashed inside my head.
I wasn't there when she needed me the most. I wasn't there when she was struggling. I am not there to empathize and support her. Just thinking about the pain she felt while giving birth to the twins makes me sick.
I wish I was there by her side because she needs me so much. My children need me too. But I did disappoint them.
I have watched many videos of the three of them. What are the favorites of the twins. How they first walk and talk. How Talliah raised them properly.
Why is she so selfless when it comes to me? I thought she's a selfish woman but I guess I'm wrong. She thinks more about my welfare than her own.
I tightened my grip on the railing and stared at my fist. I can still see the wound from punching the wall earlier. Never in my life did I intend to hurt myself. I take good care of myself because I owe it to my parents. Mom gets hurt when she sees me hurt, so why would I hurt myself if my Mother doesn't want me to get hurt.
Earlier I couldn't stop myself I wanted to hurt and beat myself. I regret why I said those words before. I'm still thinking about how Talliah felt when I said that I don't want to have a child and I'm having trouble breathing.
Why are you so fucking insensitive Rainer? You've hurt her because of your damn words. Look at it. I want to curse myself. I wonder if I really deserve to be loved by a woman like her.
She made me her world. She said I'm the reason why she's happy but I think I'm also the reason why she's hurting for the past years.