Gold's POV
"Gold, please, just listen..."
I tried moving past her but she caught my arm pulling me back a little. A long sigh escaped my lips.
Looking at her, I slowly remove the grasp she has on me. She looked taken aback and somehow, I felt bad for acting harshly on her.
I assessed my feelings. How do I feel?
Nothing.
I felt bad for hurting her but I was sure I don't feel bad for not liking her like I used to. Messaging her before when she was sick, I knew right then it was because I use to care for her. Nothing more.
This basically just exhausting. I should have just let it be. I shouldn't have been swayed by my member's queries. Now I fucked up myself and I might actually end up really losing Synn.
I was wrong. I should have told Synn about it because I am sure she'd understand if I just explained everything.
But I didn't and I know it was my fault. No matter how much my members question my sincerity, my emotion, it was still me who got confused. It was all my fault and not anyone else.
"Steffy, I told you it's over. I don't feel anything for you now and I only see you as a friend. Stop this will you? Please?" I pleaded.
We have a schedule for today and coincidentally, I met her along the hallway. Two weeks ago, she tried getting back with me. I told her no.
I love Synn. I love her and I know I messed up. It's nobody's fault but me. For everyone, it seemed like I cheated. I might not know it but unknowingly, I did. And I know I have to deal with the consequences.
"But the two of you are over. I know coz Synn stopped bitching with me. She lost, I knew it," she stated and my heart clenched at her words.
"What do you mean bitching? Were you messing up with her when I'm not around?" I snarled and she looked taken aback for a moment.
My blood boils at the sight of her. I didn't know Synn had been dealing with her when we were together. Now I feel even worse. I had neglected her. Fuck.
"She had it coming!" I was appalled at how her expression suddenly changed. This wasn't the girl I used to adore. "That bitch, she took you away from me. It was me Gold! It was me, always have been. Can't you see? We're meant for each other?"
All the hair behind my neck stood up. She sounded scary. Her voice sounding hoarse and her eyes were gleaming red out of anger.
She's terrifying.
"Hey, Gold, come back to me, huh?" she was begging and my heart clench at what she has become.
"Steffy, calm down okay?" I tried getting her attention but she's fidgeting. Something's wrong. She wasn't like this. She's usually calm and collected. And I just realized she's started acting differently after we broke up.
I looked sideways and was glad there aren't people around. This isn't a sight people should be seeing.
I moved closer and took her hands, "Steffy, listen okay? Snap out of it. You have to breathe in and out, okay? Calm down..." I tried to ease her nerves but it's no use.
"Gold, take me back please..." she was crying and I felt the blood on my face getting drained.
She needs help.
"What is this, a pity party?"
Both of us turned towards the corner when we heard someone speaking. My heart almost leap out of my chest the moment I realized who it was.
"Synn..." I called but she didn't smile nor acknowledged my presence. Instead, she looked straight to Sejeong with a calm demeanor.
She was wearing a black shirt tucked underneath her denim skirt and a pair of white sneakers.
Right, I heard they were here to do a radio show.
Butterflies went wild inside my stomach. It's been so long since I last saw her. After the incident in our dorm the other night, my members had been planning on how they will help me. Though it wasn't really their problem nor their fault, I was grateful enough that they care for me that much.
She was walking gracefully towards us and the way Steffy's eyes changed got me worried.
"He doesn't need to know how you've been treating me. And I'm not here to start any trouble,"
I bit my lower lip at the sound of her voice.
I miss her. Fuck, I miss her so much I want to move forward and engulf her in a hug.
"What, are you here just so you can laugh at me? I broke you. I broke the two of you. And I will have him back!" she spat and I'm not sure I wanted to say something seeing how serious Synn is right now. I don't want her to think I'm siding with Steffy but I don't want Steffy to think we're bullying her too.
"Technically speaking, it's not you who broke us apart but us. He lied to me and I didn't confront him. We have our own minds to decide on everything. It's on us. Besides, we broke up but you didn't break me. Not a bitch like you can break me apart Steffy. But looking at us now, I feel like you're the one that's broken,"
I was startled when Steffy's expression suddenly softened. That's the same expression she always has whenever she looks at her members.
The expression that tells that she cares.
"I used to like you. A lot of people adore you. I'm sure Gold loved you because there is something good within you," I gulped. Having both my ex now is quite awkward.
"Now I wonder what happened. Why did you end up like this?" she asked full of concern. Steffy's expression also changed.
"I saw how you fought during that survival show. Something snapped within you. By the looks of it, you're basically obsessed with having Gold. Why Steffy?"
I turned to look at Sejeong. Come to think of it. It doesn't look like she still likes me still.
"What are you saying?" her voice faltered and I saw how she started stepping backward. "You're crazy," she whispered looking confused before turning her back leaving Synn and I.
Silence filled the place and I didn't know whether I should move forward.
"Synn..." I whispered and she looked at me blankly. I felt like thousands of needles started pricking my chest.
It hurts to have her near but she seems like she's so far away.
"Don't..." she whispered. My heart ached by the sound of her voice. She was in pain. And I fucking caused that.
"I didn't come here to help you or talk to you. I came forward because of her. Obviously, she needs help. And stop sending chocolates and flowers to our dorm. I'm just going to throw them away," she stated before turning on her heels leaving me all speechless.
My hands balled into fists.
What now Gold, are you going to give up?
A smile appeared on my lips.
I'm going to get my girl back.