Synn’s POV
A relief sigh escaped my lips as we struck the ending pose for our performance, the loud cheering from our fans boosting my confidence even more.
That's it. The cheers, the chanting of our names, the support, we live for them. As an artist, hearing the voices of our fans warms our hearts. And this is exactly what I feel right now.
Just as when the lights dim, the girls and I immediately run towards the side of the stage.
This is how normally it is on every performance. Only the people who watch it live sees the things not being shown on the videos.
A smile escaped my lips after we enter our dressing room. Our managers, make up artists and staff we're all congratulating us for a job well done.
We bowed in acknowledgment and I laughed when I saw Elisse bouncing around.
"What are you so giddy about?" I laughed before pulling her for a hug. "Oh my God Elisse, you're still full of energy," our laughter filled the room.
"Yah, Elisse, what do you drink?" Arika asked and I had to laugh really hard when I saw her state. She was almost sprawled on the couch on the corner.
Out of every one of us, Arika gets tired easily. My eyes caught Snow on the other corner using her phone. I shake my head in amusement. I am goddarn sure something is going on with her and Mono but I want to stay on my lane and let them be.
Snow knows what she's doing and so is Mono.
In no time, the four of us was already wearing new set of clothes. We're not going to finish the awards as we have an appointment in a few hours so we have to get going.
As we were on our way, I felt the sudden urge to go to the restroom.
"Hey, wait up. I just have to go to the restroom. Tell our manager I'll follow," I told them and Snow looked skeptical
"You want us to wait for you?" she asked but I shake my head. I have my bag and phone with me.
"Okay, hurry up Synn, okay?" Arika smiled and I turned on a corner to head to the restroom.
Once I entered, I sigh in relief seeing there isn't any idol around.
I entered one cubicle on the far corner to do my thing. But it wasn't even long when I heard the sound of heels resonating the whole restroom.
I didn't know what hit me but I didn't move. I let whoever that person is to think that she is alone inside the restroom.
The sound of the water running was heard.
Silly. What am I doing? I thought to myself. My members are waiting for me.
Just when I was about to move, I heard her speak and I stopped.
Shit. Of all people.
"It's almost done, why?"
Steffy. She's talking on the phone.
"Oh, no. Mhmm..."
I don't know why but I suddenly felt scared. The fear instilled in my being for the past few months slowly coming back.
Why am I getting scared?
She sounded like she's talking to her boyfriend. She has that sweet tone she usually has whenever there is a camera.
My stomach kept on churning and I don't know why.
"Is it beautiful there?" she asked. She sounded so shy.
I'm not sure why but my hands started working on its own and I found myself dialing Gold's number.
Please let it ring, please....
"Oh, okay. I will have to go back too. Take care of me okay? You know I care for you. I miss-"
Busy line...
"you Gold..." she coed and that's it. I lost all the color on my face and my knees wobble a little. Thank God I didn't make any noise.
My hands covered my lips as I try not to make any noise. My heart was beating rapidly and I can even hear my own heartbeat.
Fuck.
I heard the sound of her heels fading and once I was sure I was alone, a whimper escaped my lips.
"Fuck..." I wipe the tears that kept streaming down my cheeks.
Fuck you Gold.
He played me. Was he having fun playing me all this time?
Steffy must be laughing behind my back. Are they into this together?
I bit my lower lip as I wipe the tears on my cheeks.
It's so painful. I fell like my chest would burst in pain and even breathing now seemed to be so hard.
This isn't the right place for this. Anytime soon, the awards show will be finish and I can't take the risk and be caught. Not now, not like this.
My hands fiddle with my phone. I went out of the cubicle. At least outside I'll know if someone is about to come.
Gold was in London. He's about to have his concert in O2 Arena and he fucking has the time to talk with his supposed ex-girlfriend and not me.
I dialed his number. Hopefully, he'll answer since he just talked with her.
And he did. Fucking bastard.
"Cupcake... " the sound of his happy greeting almost made me forget why I called. But my heart is mourning. Not his raspy voice can calm me down at this moment.
Now I wasn't sure if I was the reason for his happiness at times or it was all just an act.
My hands reached for the sink for support.
"Are you calling to wish me luck?" he exclaimed. He was obviously happy.
"When are you going to tell me you're still meeting and communicating with your ex?" I directly asked him and judging from the gasp I just heard, he was caught off-guard.
No denial.
"Synn..." he whispered. His voice was shaking. My eyes closed, tears threatening to spill once again.
A weird laugh escaped my lips.
"Great. Now you're speechless," I started. My voice was shaking. I didn't even bother masking the pain I feel inside. This was long overdue. This talk, this relationship, everything.
"Synn, it wasn't like that. I love you, okay..." he started and I cut him off.
Love is not the right word.
"What bullshit. Do you love me? How can you love me when for months, you don't even notice how hard everything has been for me? Do you know how hard it was for me to pretend I didn't know about you talking with her? Do you know how painful it is for me to wait until you tell me you're shitting behind my back?" I told him. By this time, I knew I'm about to breakdown.
"Synn...." he was pleading. I wasn't sure if he was crying but I didn't care. I'm hurt.
He hurt me.
He lied to me.
This won't do. I don't want to be that stupid person who stays because I love the man.
I'll leave because I love myself.
"I am so done understanding, waiting for you to love me and see me, only me. I'm done being a rebound for your love with her. I'm fucking done Gold Simons," soft whimper escaped my lips and I can hear him begging on the other line.
Shit.
Gasping for air, I spoke one last time.
"Don't ever call me again coz I won't answer. Don't come to our dorm because I won't let you in. Don't come near me. Pretend we ever happened and don't try to do something that will make me hate you even more. We're over,"
I ended the call and faced the mirror in front of me.
Thank God for inventing waterproof mascara.
My make up is still okay but I still tried to fix myself.
No time to self-pity.
Not even bothering to do what I originally intended to do, I made a dash on the exit
Goodbye, cupcake.