Tunde°
I could not have been thinking when I left my cereal in the open without putting it in a container. I was facing the result of my carelessness after I returned to Umuahia Three months after I left. I still had a month until the expiration of my rent. I could have told Anthony to arrange for the rest of my properties to be sent to Delta, but I did not. I came back just so I could see Nene, deliberately or coincidentally.
Cockroaches were running around like new tenants. Someone must have tipped them off my absence. Instead of finding an option for dinner in the cupboard, I was disposing the remains I left before I traveled to Delta. I would have loved to keep the fiber flakes because it was my best but like others, it was cold and had an unwelcoming smell.
For a moment, I considered going to Nene's place and knocking. When she opened, I would tell her that I am hungry and I came to eat. I imagined that she would laugh and sashay back into the house leaving the door open for me to walk in. But all those were my thoughts, I did not see the reality.
I wanted to go to her not just because I was hungry but to ask her again to be mine. I realized I never even did much to show her I needed her. I just left. Cowardly, I just left.
I wore a shirt over the white vest I had been wearing to condemn my edibles to the dustbin. I picked the waste bag as I left the house.
I was only glad that I had a good relationship with Nene's gateman. Maybe he would have made me wait outside till he confirmed I was a 'wanted ' visitor. It was the term, he used as he let me in.
"My brother, " He hailed because he was Yoruba. "I already know you are a wanted visitor. Go on."
"Thank you, " I said, unable to match his excitement. I had in mind to match it later after seeing Nene, by dropping some cash in his hands and no matter the amount, I would say, "Take, buy malt."
I stood outside the door and knocked on Nene's door severally. I did not want to call her because I felt it was a sign if she opened up or if she did not. Whatever she did would all be a path directing me.
I knocked again and waited then I turned around to start going. Immediately, the door opened and as I made to turn, warm liquid splashed on me. It drenched my shirt down to my trousers. I wiped off my face first with a hand, still frozen in place. I was still unable to process what happened even as I undid more buttons of my shirt.
"Tunde, you didn't call me. I'm so sorry."
That was when I looked at her, she still had the empty bowl in her hand and her eyes were pleadingly on me.
"What just happened? " I asked, removing my shirt to flap it.
She only spoke when I stopped flapping the shirt. "I thought it was Mathew. I'm sorry."
I nodded unable to understand if anyone deserved to be baptized with a bowl of water mixed with bleach. I could perceive it and it was only a matter of seconds, my shirt and trouser would be ruined forever.
"Please, come inside. I can find you something to wear," She said, opening the door wider and stepping out of the way.
I flapped the shirt once more and tugged at my vest uncomfortably. My hunger seemed to have vanished totally as I considered what would come out from a meeting that had already started wrongly.
"I am sorry, " She said again.
"It's fine," I said, pulling out my vest that was tucked into my trouser.
"Come in. I might have something for you to wear. I'm so sorry."
Her apologies made me remember the time she stained my dress with her powder and did not want to understand that the stain meant nothing to me.
Keeping my shirt on the crook of my arm, I noticed it - the color change from black to something towards a shady white. I smiled thinking of the extreme length she had to go through to get rid of Mathew.
"How have you been? " I asked.
She raised an eyebrow then nodded, passing the bowl from her left hand to the right hand.
"If I come in, I would want to leave knowing that you are mine. Knowing that we were able to fix us," I said.
I leaned on the rail at her balcony and waited for her reply. She only blinked severally while looking at something behind me, just an act to avoid looking at me.
"We can't work, Tunde. You and me, we can't work. Like, look at me, I'm not a church girl. I only go to church because you invite me and that's it," She said, now looking at me.
"That's it?"
She only stared at me, doing nothing and saying nothing.
"Nobody is judging you for not going to church. Most people go to church every Sunday but you are better than them."
She shook her head and I bent my head to the ground knowing she was not going to say something positive.
"We just can't work. I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing," I said without looking up. "Goodnight."
I still waited for her to say something but she remained still. I nodded and walked away. She was not giving up on those things she had filled her head with.
I walked towards the gate holding my shirt in my hand. Almost immediately, I heard the sound of her iron door as she bolted it from behind. If not that Ife called me, I would have forgotten to hand him some cash before I left for the night.
It had been almost three months since I saw her and I should have known the meeting would not end well since it started with an attempt to bleach me. Yet I remained and I managed to hurt myself twice added to the number of times I thought of her everyday.