Tunde°
I did not travel to Delta. I rescheduled all the plans I had there. I did not think I was in the right mind to be driving. I Called the man I had given the work to organize the exterior decoration of the place and told him I could not make it. I lay on the cushion all morning with my eyes closed because of a woman.
It would sound funny to anyone but they have not met Nene, the strong woman whom I have seen at her weakest, held her as she quaked in tears and watched her sleep. I paid attention to her when she thought I was not looking, I paid attention to her silence and every word she spoke. The words she said that day, they hurt me.
She was an independent woman, who seemed calculated and almost sure of all her steps. That's why I was worried. Has she thought about all of this? Has she seen that we could not work out? What was the main reason?
As I lay on my cushion, I still could not place what happened. I could not understand it because if I am ever asked to explain, I would never be able to. The only thing I understood was that she no longer wanted me around.
We had sex. My guilt came from my lack of self-control and the fact that I did not want to be disrespecting her by having sex with her. I prayed in the bathroom, I prayed for self control more than I ever did before. I did not even regret it and I did not blame her. I was fully in control of my senses when it happened.
The first day she cried in my arms, I loved the way she felt relaxed there and the way she could open up to me even though we were still strangers to a certain level. I think it was that day I fell in love with her.
I should have left her when she said she was in a relationship. The only close friend I had in the seminary, Christopher who might never get a chance at romance encouraged me, he kept telling me that she was not married yet so I could keep trying and my mother also encouraged because she must have felt Nene was the first woman I was wooing.
My phone rang and I tumbled off the cushion to reach the phone on the stool with hopes that she would be the caller.
"Tunde, how was your journey? " The caller asked. It was the youth president in church.
"I'm still around. I could not make it. "
"Okay, will you come for the meeting? I want you to help me address the youth."
"You guys should just go on. I might join later."
"Okay. Take care bro," he said and the call ended.
I still sat there beside the stool disappointed because all morning after I returned, I waited for Nene's call. I thought of things that were in her character to say. Things like, she was caught up with work and it made her over think or admit to me that she did not trust me then I would try to prove myself to her.
When my phone blinked light, I stared at it in expectancy but it was always MTN warning me that my data subscription was on auto renewal. I already knew, I do not know why they still bothered.
I decided to send a text to her, and I began to type,
"My lady, I'm sorry for the words I did not say to you when I should have and the time I should have begged you to understand... "
I gave up. I did not want to look more pathetic. I wiped the message and went to shower and after that I dressed and drove to the church.
The youth were all in one row. I waved at them and went to greet the clergymen. I bent and the oldest patted my back- He loved to do that then I wandered off and sat with the choir that were rehearsing because I did not want the president to talk me into addressing any crowd no matter how little. I was not in the right mind to be an orator.
Flourish went round with papers containing the song for the day and the sol-fa notes accompanying it. She did not give to me but asked with concern, "Are you okay?"
I nodded and quickly looked at my phone, trying to hide my face in case it could show on my face that I was heartbroken. I scrolled through my documents and found the most recent ones Flourish sent to me in one of our vain chat sessions on whatsapp. The document was the only meaningful thing we ever spoke about but it became that way after I met one certain woman who told me that people called her, 'Lady'.
"Tunde!"
I looked up as I heard my name and all eyes were on me, waiting for me to say something or do something.
"Please join the others singing bass in their pew," The choir mistress said.
"Don't worry. I'm okay here," I said to her.
She said nothing more and I caught Flourish looking at me. I flashed her a smile and looked back at my phone. They began to sing but I was not paying attention. I was looking at my phone, still I did not know which verse they were at.
After the practice, I greeted Anthony, the youth president and other church executives that were flocking around at the back of the church. Flourish also joined us in exchanging pleasantries and after, she walked me to my car.
"Are you going yet?" I asked, "Do you need me to drop you off? "
I knew her junction but not her house. I always passed it on my way to the church and on my way back. She never let me close to the gate. She said she was living with her aunt that period of her youth service. She did not reply to my question but folded her arms underneath her breast.
"What's wrong with you? " She asked instead.
"Nothing. Maybe I had a busy day but that's all," I said.
She shrugged. "So can I visit today or is your woman around? "
"My woman? " I asked, amused.
"Yes. The last time I called to visit you, you told me you had a guest - a female guest over."
"Oh," I laughed, remembering the day she called. It was the first time Nene slept over at my place. "Is that why you no longer visited? "
She looked at me like I had two horns then sighed.
"Let me pick something from someone. We can go together, " She said, hurriedly walking back into the church.
I climbed into the car and waited for her while playing songs I did not even know the lyrics. It was at the ending of the third song that she opened the passenger door and stepped in.
She kept her hands folded on her laps as drove into the road. "Is she the woman you always bring to church? "
"What happened to the woman I always bring to church? " I asked without taking my eyes off the road.
"Are you guys dating? " She asked.
"Yes," I replied without looking at her because I knew to speak life into my needs.
She relaxed in her seat. I looked at her sharply. She had her arms folded and her head turned towards the window.
"The day I plugged my phone in Presido's office, did you pick my call?" I asked her.
"Mmmm," She hummed as if she was recalling.
"Yes. Someone called like twice and I told her you were in a meeting, " She replied.
"You should not be picking my calls or anyone's call unless you are asked to. "
"It's just so that the caller will know you are okay and not ignoring the calls. "
I sighed and shook my head. It was always hard to correct her especially when she thought she was right.
I dropped her at her junction and she rubbed my arm as she came down, saying, "Goodnight."
It was not a new development but I felt too bare to be having such gestures from a woman at that time. I felt vulnerable.