I held her hand as she slept peacefully. I also got the twin and Dane buried them. I don’t know what I will do when Yara wakes up. It was like I just wanted to disappear and join the twins because I didn’t know how to tell her what had happened.
I want to know what happened. If she did something so she bled. Did she lift heavy? Fell on the ground? get tired?
But the doctor says none of that seems to have happened. Based on her vagina and the blood that came out, it was not a forced miscarriage that happened or the result that something went wrong. Her uterus is low so the twins can't hold on well. They also confirmed this based on her ultrasound last pre-natal.
I know no one is to blame. Yara definitely didn't like what happened either. All I can think about now is her and how she will react when she wakes up. I don’t know how to explain to her that our baby is gone. Knowing her, she loves the twins dearly because she has long dreamed of having children.
"Hmph." I heard her moan so I came closer. I held her forehead and stroked her face.
"Baby?" She looked at me and then looked at her stomach. The sadness immediately drew in her eyes before looking at me again. She also shed tears one after another as if she already knew what had happened.
"Zeus, the twin?" I kissed her hand first while bowing. I don’t know how to tell her the truth. Even though I knew she had an idea I still couldn’t admit it. "Zeus?"
"They're gone." I sob upon saying those words. I heard her cry so I looked at her. We cried together while holding hands.
"I'm sorry. I lose your children."
"Shh!" I stood up and kissed her on the forehead. I hug her to let her know that I am not angry with her. "I'm not mad. They're a reason why it happened. Don't blame yourself, baby." I heard nothing from her but pure crying. If I can do something to lessen her pain I will do it. But how can I do that? How can I alleviate the pain she feels.
"I was careful, Zeus. I was just standing up to drink water when I saw a lot of blood. I didn't feel anything but why did they disappear?"
"Shh, they're not for us."
"I am useless, Zeus. I let them die. I have not been able to defend them."
"No, baby, no one is to blame for what happened." I did not hear anything from her but sobs. If I could do anything to make her feel better I would not hesitate to do so. But I do not know-how. If it hurts me what else can happen to her?
I FILE A LEAVE to take care of Yara. Avel visited to check on her also. Ever since she came out of the hospital she hasn’t talked to anyone even me. She did nothing but cry and cry.
She's in our room peacefully sleeping. Everyone is here with me. They had just finished talking to Yara but as usual only yes and no she answer. Their children are not here because Dane said that seeing the baby might hurt Yara. Dylan came but also left immediately. Avel is also here with us today.
"She needs you right now, Zeus. I know the feeling of losing a baby. If I was then when I found out I was pregnant I would have done nothing but cry. I didn't just show it to everyone but fuck, I wanted to I killed Blaze and change my baby to him" Blaze glares at Maggie.
"What did you say, love?"
"Why? You didn't like me back then so it's ok for you to disappear as long as I'm with my child. Do I know that we'll get back together?"
"Tss, I know now that you were thinking like that before."
"Fight, fight," Jace commented, and two glared at him.
"Zeus just supports her," Hailey said as I smiled. "I'm also a mother and I know how a mother feels. I can't say it's ok because I know it's not. But I can say everything is gonna be ok. Everything will be fine too. Take it easy as long as you don't leave her."
"I won't leave her. I'll stay with her."
"We're here for you, dumbass," Phoenix said.
"We will visit her often so she can talk to someone. Or at least bring her to us when she's ok," Margot said then leaned on Jace.
"Zeus, just have big patience with her. When she says something annoying or you don't like something, just understand her, ok?" Hailey added.
"I will,"
Dane tapped my shoulder but did not speak. She pressed my shoulder letting me know that everything will be alright. Everyone leaves but Avel stayed. We just had a drink in the living room while I occasionally peeked at Yara to see if she was ok.
"She was like that with her first baby. Did not eat, just crying and crying." Avel started and leaned back on the sofa. "If I can do anything to help her, even maybe I'll give my life back to her child. I will do." I saw him wipe his tears and looked up.
"Thanks for your concern."
"Shameless, that's why I don't want to drink because I'm more become gay. It's just stupid to say that gay people become men when they drink. While gay people get more anxious when they drink. Others get exposed out of nowhere when drunk." I smiled at what he said. I know he's trying to pull a joke in a realistic way.
"Zeus, I know your hurt. Everyone is focused on Yara's feelings because she's the mother but I know your hurt too."
"I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I am hurt because I lost my children but I am more hurt seeing Yara hurt and I can't do anything to lessen her pain."
"Just stay with her. That's all she needs right now."
"Why did this happen?" I was already holding my head in extreme disappointment.
"Everything happened for a reason, Zeus. Importantly, you will never leave her. She needs you to be with her. You need to be brave now because you become her strength from you. If she sees you weakening she will be even more- guilty. I know your hurt and used that pain to make you understand her better as a mother."
I don't know what to say. I'm only sure of one thing. I'm hurt because I see Yara struggling and hurting.
"By the way, I'm leaving. I'll just be back in the next few days when I'm not busy."
"All right, thanks for visiting." He just nodded at me and then left.
When Avel left I entered the room. I caught Yara laying sideways. I could hear her soft sob and I could see the movement of her shoulder. She was awake and crying again. I climbed on the bed and hugged her from behind.
"Baby." I didn’t hear anything from her so I tightened my hug. "I am here. We can lean on each other." But she just kept crying and crying.
"I lose them."
"Shh! Don't say that, baby. It's not your fault why it happened."
"It's my fault because I am careless."
"No, baby, this is no one's fault. Please be strong." He did not respond to what I said and just continued to cry. What should I do? Fuck! I am hurt seeing her in pain but I can do nothing but just watch her.
Can I just take all her pain? I am more hurt seeing her hurting.