"Isn't she still ok?" Dane asks as I prepare my things to go home.
"I can't say. She acted ok, but I know she's not. I'm not used to seeing her like that. Far from Yara being naughty, cursed, and possessive," I answered.
"She'll be ok. She needs time for herself. Just understand her because that's also one of the things she needs."
"I know, I believe she will be ok. I need to go, Dane."
"Sure, take care." While on my way home I called Yara. She did not answer my call instead, she send me a message telling me to go home quickly.
It's almost two months now, but she's still in pain. She doesn't talk to me and she still cries a lot. She is different from Yara who is with me but I will not give up. I still believe that everything will gonna be alright. We can still have a child. I believe that will happen. Not now, but soon.
I miss her, the old her. Everything in her. The woman that I want to spend my life with. Though I still believe that everything will be ok I am still hurting. I admit that I didn't want her to get pregnant before, but God knows how happy I am when I know I'm really the father.
I did everything for them. I have a lot of plans. But I know no one is to blame for what happened. Even Yara doesn't want this to happen. I am hurt, but she's more hurt.
"Yara?" I didn't see her in our room so I was surprised. "Baby?"
"Hi," My forehead frowned when I saw her wearing nighties. I didn't take a step and just stayed behind the door. She just came out of the bathroom and she's smiling at me.
"Yara, what are you doing, baby?" She approaches me and kisses me torridly. Though I am in shock I retaliated against her. I pulled her closer and kissed her. We both moan in pleasure when I remember something.
"Baby, wait."
"Make love with me, Zeus, make me pregnant." She became aggressive so I held her hand. The doctor said she is not allowed to have sex. We have to wait three months before I will claim her or have to consult a doctor first.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"Make me pregnant. Give me a child." I see the sadness in her eyes.
"The doctor said we should wait until three months before we have sex."
"Give me a child." There was anger now in her eyes as she said it.
"Baby please, calm down."
"Make me pregnant!" she screamed which startled me. I can also now see annoyance and anger in her eyes with accompanying pain.
"Yara, please, relax."
"Why? Because I can't be a good mother? Because I don't know how to take care?!" She keeps on screaming. I approached her but she backed away. "Don't touch me! Don't come near!"
"Yara baby, please relax. What's wrong?"
"This is really what you want, isn't it? You're happy because you have no obligation to me, now?! Because I don't have the capacity to be the mother of your child because I can't take care of myself!!!"
"Yara, what are you saying? I'm also hurt by what happened. That's my child, Yara."
"Liar!" she shouted and started to wander. "You! All of you don't like me because I'm useless! I don't know anything so you don't like me and you want me out of your life!"
"Yara, stop!" I approached her and immediately hugged her but she just pushed me.
"You don't care because I'm careless !!!" She screamed with almost no voice coming out of her mouth.
"Yara!" I grabbed her closer but she just fought me and pushed me. She's slapping me and scratching while screaming. It's as if she's out of her mind. "YARA!"
"Ah! I'm worthless! I want to die!"
"Yara!" I slapped her hard so she stopped. I was also surprised at what I did because the slap I unleashed was strong. She stopped fighting and screaming so I let her go while stunned.
She walked over to the bed and there cried and cried. I didn’t move immediately because of what I had done. I just looked at my palm that had just landed on her cheek. ‘Fuck, what have I done? Why did I do that?'
"I'm sorry." I turned to face him and did not realize that I was already in tears. "I didn't mean to do it, baby, I don't want to hurt you." He did not answer. His two palms rested on his face. I just sat down and leaned against the back of the door. Feet fell to the floor as both hands were washed over the face.
"I'm sorry!" I couldn’t help myself and I started to cry. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't know how to stop her and my only option is to slap her. "We should be the ones who can lean on each other. But why do you seem to be the only one who is hurting?" I did not hear anything from her aside from her loud sobs.
"It hurts me to lose a child, Yara. But you know what's more painful to me? Seeing you hurt but I can't help." Fuck! I hate most of all to show weakness. Even my parents and friends didn't see me faint or cry but this time I can't.
"Yara, I'm hurting because you're hurting. I'm hurting because I don't know how to make you happy. How to bring our child back. It hurts me to see that the woman who is important to me is crying, fainting, losing her will to live, and I-- I can't do anything to help her. I feel so useless. I feel helpless. Because the woman who makes me happy I can't make her happy now that she's sad and hurt."
My tears flowed one after another. I held my head while looking up. I just want to be happy with her. I could face all the trials to come but not see her hurt.
"Yara, I can face all the pain, I can take on all the hardships. What I can't do is see you hurt. Don't be like this, baby. Let's support each other because it's not just you who's hurting here, I'm hurting too. It hurts me to lose a child, and it hurts me to see you hurt. I feel useless because I can't do anything for you."
"I'm having a hard time, baby. It's hard for me to see you like that. If I could just take all your pain so that I could be the one who will bear it, I would. I'd rather be the one to be hurt and suffer, not you." I saw her standing and walked closer to me.
"I'm sorry, Zeus, I felt so useless because I wasn't able to take care of the twins." She sat next to me while holding my hand. "I'm sorry if I've been selfish and I'm just thinking to myself. Please don't hate me. Please don't leave me. Please stay with me. I need you, Zeus, I need you so badly, baby."
"I won't leave you, Yara." I pulled her slowly and hugged her as we continued to cry.
"I'm afraid you might leave me because I have no value now. Because you have no obligation to me. I'm afraid to be alone, Zeus."
"Shh, don't say that. I will never leave you. Never again, baby. I will stay with you until we grow old. I will be here for you always. Please, let's get through this together. Let's work together, baby." I kiss her on the forehead and we both cried and cried while hugging.