I caressed her face while sleeping peacefully on my arm and I could even see the redness on her cheek. I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean to slap her. Fuck! I was also shocked when she went crazy and I didn’t expect that.
I didn’t know how to calm make her calm because that was the first time I had seen her go wild. I don’t know what to do and my only option to stop her is to slap her. I was also surprised by what I did the fuck! It was as if I wanted to take a knife and let her stab me over and over so she could get revenge.
Even asleep I can still see the puffiness in her eyes. Obviously from heavy crying. Her mouth is also a bit open because that's where she breathes because her nose is blocked. Even me, because of crying. I never thought we would get to this point. Both hurt too much because we both lost our babies. But what hurts me more now is seeing her hurt. I'm not used to her like this.
I know she’s strong and I know she can overcome this. I am here for her. I will never leave her again. I will never be lost on her side. I will stay with her. I will never let us separate again.
I just think that we won't be together until the end as if my heart is going to explode. It's like I'm going crazy. Just thinking that she will disappear from my sight and I will never see her again is as if I am losing myself. I just think that to others that she goes is like I just want to be a criminal.
Suddenly I realized something because of what I thought. Fuck! Is this what they called love? Is this what love means? I stared at her and hold her hand. Am I in love with her?
"Hmph!" I heard her moan and arranged to lie down. I just stared at her until I realized that I had fallen asleep thinking.
---
"Baby?" I stood up and looked at the time on my cellphone. 7 AM but Yara was not in bed so I got up. "Yara?" I call her and open the bathroom but no one is there.
I left the room and went to the kitchen when I heard someone is there. I saw Yara holding something while turning around and standing in front of the stove.
"Yara?" She turned to me and smiled.
"Hi, good morning," she greeted. Her eyes were still swollen due to heavy crying last night. She's wearing an apron and in front of her, she is cooking something. "I made breakfast, egg, and ham. I think I make it right this time." I smiled at her and approached her. I hugged her and then kissed her on the forehead.
"You shouldn't have done that. I can do that, you need rest."
"I want to keep myself busy. Besides I am physically ok. I want to start. Then I want to make you breakfast because I haven't done it with you yet. I have already made the coffee. Can you taste the scrambled egg?" Even though I knew she was still a bit hurt somehow I was relieved that she herself was being forced to be ok.
"Sure." She laid me an egg.
"Tell me honestly and don't lie to me," she said while pouting. My eyes narrowed and I smiled. "Zeus?"
"A little less salt."
"I said it's salty, I thought it was just my taste that salty." I wipe her forehead because she is already sweating.
"But it's okay because I drink a lot of water," I replied. "Baby," I caressed her cheek which was still a bit red. I'm sorry about last night."
"It's ok, if you didn't do that I don't know what will happen."
"Still, I am sorry." I kiss her cheek, her forehead, and her lips.
"Zeus,"
"Hmph?" I was surprised when she suddenly hugged me. "Baby?"
"Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for staying. I thought --- I thought you will leave me. I thought you will disappear again. I thought I was alone again." I lifted her face and saw her cry.
"I'll leave you twice when you need me. It's not gonna happen again, baby. I'll never leave you again."
"Really?"
"Yup, when you left me and stayed with Dylan. That time I realized that I can't afford to lose you. If you need me because you love me I need you more so I will know what I really feel for you."
"I promise I will stay, Zeus until you can tell me that you love me. I will wait. Just don't leave me even if I don't know anything about housework, even if I can't give you a child, even if I'm useless."
"Shh, you're useful to me because you make me happy. Just seeing you, makes me happy."
"I'll stay with you, Zeus, as long as you need me I'll stay by your side."
"Thank you." I smile and kiss her. "Baby, let's continue what you want last night," I whispered.
"Hey!" She hit me in the chest. "Less than three months. That's what the doctor said and we should consult with her first on what to do. Zeus?"
"Hmph?"
"The doctor said before we make love we have to consult her first. If we don't want to have a baby first or we want to have a baby so we know what to do, right?"
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"
"What do you think will gonna do?"
"What do you mean?"
"Should I take contraceptives?" I frowned at what she said.
"Why?"
"For nothing to be formed first."
"No!" She was surprised when I raised my voice.
"Huh, don't you want to have a baby, right?"
"Before. I want a baby, now."
"But isn't it ---"
"I didn't want then. I want to have now."
"Are you sure?"
"I am, not unless you're the one who's unsure because you want to have another dad," I said sullenly and averted my eyes. She hugged me even more and kissed me on the face. My stomach is tickling and I can't understand. It was as if my heart was tickling at what she is doing to me.
"You're the only one I want to be the father of my children." She took my face and faced her. "You're the only one I need. Zeus Del Valle, I want you to be the father of my children and grandfather of grandchildren."
"And you're the only one I want to be the mother of my children and grandmother of my grandchildren." We kiss passionately. I just felt like I was holding her chest and gently massaging it. I heard her moan my name so I stopped.
"Fuck, I might forget and claim you." She smiled mischievously then squatted down to whisper.
"Anal."
"Nope, we had a deal, every two years." But she just laughed at what I said.
"It's up to you. I'm strong now and I can fight back with you."
"Yara!" She stroked cocky gently.
"Cocky, did you miss kitty? It's still forbidden,"
"Yara, please." I just closed my eyes when she slowly took off my clothes and then knelt down. She was already holding cocky and slowly raised. I lost myself when she sucked cocky. I fucking miss this. And out of nowhere cocky quickly cried out of sheer happiness.