We sit outside in the courtyard of the Rugby Club. The suns out and the air smells like freshly clipped grass. It's the smell of Summer, that has me smiling brightly this morning. I’ve ordered myself a steak burger and fries. I woke up feeling like a starved pig, I refused to eat anything in case I needed to nurse a toilet bowl for hours on end before feeling a tad bit decent.
“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Sanz rubs his hands together impatiently waiting for our food to arrive.
"These ribs better be as good as you say, Carlos." He stares at Carlos.
“Calm down.” He rolls his eyes.
“You cleared out my fridge this morning and I only shopped two days ago.” He says astonished.
“I'm a Samoan, it's what we do,” Sanz says casually
“Oink, oink” I laugh, teasing him.
Doing my best piglet impressions.
“I'm not a pig, “ Sanz says defensively.
“Well, you ain’t no small time either.” Carlos raises his brows challenging him to oppose his statement.
“But, I’m Samoan.” He says again like it was a good enough excuse.
“We all bleed the same, don’t start that shit again.” Carlos points out.
“Fine! Lunch is on me then. Since I cleared out your entire fridge all on my own.” He throws his credit card on the table, like a big baby.
“Atta man.” Carlos slaps his hand on Sanz’s back.
“You wait till we get home.” He utters to Carlos.
“I look forward to it.” Carlos flicks a wink in Sanz direction.
The sexual tension in the air is thick, it’s raw, yet powerful and has me watching them in awe.
“Sorry to break up the love feast, but I need your advice on something.” I slice through their tension and grab their attention.
“If it is about Luca, you have my full support in leaving the prick.” Sanz grounds out.
“What? No, it got nothing to with Luca and me.” I look at him confused.
Where did that come from?
I know they both haven’t seen eye to eye, but I didn’t realise how strongly Sanz disliked him. I haven’t even bothered to ask Luca what his intentions were when he confronted Sanz that night at his house when I had walked out on him.
I go onto explaining how I met Mikal, how he intentionally let it slip that Luca had his security watching me for years. How much of a dirty, sick, creep he was by sticking his used condoms in envelopes and leaving them for his victims to find. Then I tell them how he openly confronted me in the supermarket, leaving me with a cryptic message that was my nerves on edge.
“He said to me “soon” with his fingers digging into my hip. Like what does that even mean?” I look at the pair of them...
“You still have my full support in leaving that smug son-of-a-bitch, Nessa,” Sanz says through gritted teeth.
“I’m not asking or seeking any advice about my relationship with Luca, Sanz,” I say seriously.
“I know you weren’t, but it is my job as your friend to tell you he ain't worthy of you. You’re always on edge or the brink of tears whenever he’s involved.” He huffs
Our food arrives and I’m thankful for the slight interruption. When the waitress leaves Carlos speaks.
“I think what Sanz is trying to say, Nessa. Is that no matter what angle you look at, Luca is somehow involved. It all leads back to him one way or another. Now that you’re pregnant, you need to start protecting yourself. This Mikal guy either sounds like he has a loose bolt somewhere upstairs or he is a potential danger towards you.” Carlos rubs his hand over his jawline. “Do you want to risk finding out in your current state?” His eyes dart down to my belly and a hand naturally rests on top of my baby protectively.
“You’re right.” I agree with him a minute later.
The need to stand up and defend Luca leaves me the moment Carlos makes me realise my baby is in danger too. Does Luca ever stop to think about his actions or re-evaluate his situations? When he returns I will inform him about yesterdays incident and the uneasiness that’s stayed with me since.
“I'll talk to him when he returns,” I tell them with my heart sinking.
“If you both can't be honest with each other, how do you plan on building your relationship on a stable foundation for your child? Sanz says as he looks me dead in the eyes.
“He asked me to marry him.”
“NO!” They both say in unison.
My eyes dart back and forth between.
“Please tell us you said no!” Carlos finally says.
“I haven’t given him an answer. But... I couldn’t bring myself to say yes just because I’m carrying his child. I don’t want to legally be bound to a man who can’t give me his love in return.” I sigh.
“I’m starting to think I’m just not destined to be loved by anyone.” A cloud of insecurities pours down on me.
People don’t tend to stick around for a long period. And I’m fine with that, getting too attached to someone was never easy on me when they would up and leave without a second glance back. Shit...
Even my parents don’t love me. And that's when it hit me. My poor innocent baby won’t have any grandparents. Sadness evades my body, mourning the loss of certain family members every child should have in their lives. I know my parents are still alive, it’s just that they're too toxic to be a part of our lives. Especially given our families history.
“You're a bloody Gem Nessa! And don’t you let no fool tell you otherwise.” Sanz says in a clipped tone as he stares at me sternly.
“He’s right. If I wasn’t seeing him, I'd chase and hunt you down for your number. You’re absolutely beautiful on the inside and out.” Carlos says with a heated look in his eye.
“I told you he'd be down for a threesome!” Sanz says glaring at me.
“But I’m not.” I roll my eyes laughing at His ridiculous comment.
“Let’s just eat and enjoy the rest of our lunch before this gets any more awkward!”
Heat travels up my body and makes a full display on my cheeks. Causing me to blush like a silly school girl who’s just spoken to her long time running crush.
After we finish our meals, shared a few laughs and said our goodbyes I ask Anton to take me home. Even by doing nothing all day, I get insanely tired. When the beast comes to a stop and Anton holds my door open.
I exit the car and face him.
“Have you spoken to Luca yet?” I ask him.
“No, No one has been able to reach him. He must be out of signal range.” He refuses to look at me.
That explains why I still haven’t received anything from him, via message or call.
“Can I just ask that you let me be the one to tell him please?” I ask sincerely.
His eyes dart down to mine, fuelled with shock.
“I can give you until how returns after that the deals off.” He says in a matter-of-a-fact tone.
“That's all the time I need,” I say gratefully.
I leave his side and walk into the house I share with Chrissy and Conrad.
“We're off to catch a movie. You wanna join?”
Chrissy asks when she sees me enter through the front door.
Not feeling in the mood to be the third wheel in yet another couples date, I politely decline her offer and tell her another scented, bubble bath was calling my name since today’s lunch was the first meal in a long time that I didn’t feel like throwing up, it was a good day for me physically.
“Suit yourself hon.” She says as she grabs her bag and applies a thick layer of clear gloss on her lips.
“Text us if you need anything.”
“Okay, “ I say as I let Chrissy give me a quick hug. “Have fun.”
After they leave, I make my way to the bathroom and run my hot bath, filling it with a new bath bomb I just picked up the other day. I light the candles and excitement takes over me.
I love my baths with a passion and I can’t wait to soak my body in some scented goodness.