I exit the room and make my way down to the hospital lobby area.
“Nessa?” A familiar voice calls out.
I turn around and see Sanz standing in the corner with another man. I give him a little wave and he walks over to me.
“Everything okay?” He asks, his voice full of concern.
“Yeah, Just visiting a friend.” I lie to him.
“What are you doing here?” I look over at the man he was with earlier.
“That’s Carlos.” He smiles. “He’s an E.R doctor, and.... I've been seeing him for the past couple of days.” A sly smile crosses his face and he winks at me.
“You’re gay?” I ask, my voice full of shock.
“I’m Bi. I'm kind of a greedy prick.” He smiles proudly.
“I had no idea!” I lowly exclaim.
“No one ever does. It's so... Much fun gorging everyone’s reaction the first time I tell them.” He snickers.
“He’s very good looking.” The words leave my mouth before I could stop them.
“You wanna meet him? Come join us for a coffee.”
He places his hand on my lower back and ushers me towards Carlos. We go to the cafeteria, they grab themselves a coffee and I get a bottle of water.
“So.. How’d you two meet?”
“He's my ex-girlfriends' cousin.” Sanz answers.
“You're lying!” I partially choke on my water, trying not to laugh.
“We've heard it all before. Keeping it in the family.” Carlos rolls his eyes dramatically.
It must be the butt joke of their affair.
“I didn’t say anything along those lines.”
I can’t help keeping the hint of laughter out of my words.
“It’s okay. We don’t mind being the centre of attention. Now, do we?” Carlos looks at Sanz.
“It is, what it is. Not bothered at all.” Sanz says as he takes a sip of his coffee.
“So you’re the gay cousin?” I ask Carlos.
“I'm the Bisexual cousin, I tend to think of myself as a double threat.” He casually says.
“It does make family gatherings a whole lot more interesting,” Sanz mumbles.
“I bet it does,” I smirk at them.
I would never have guessed they were Bi.
They both look too manly! I can only imagine how rough things could get in the bedroom between them.
Actually, You know what? I don’t even wanna think about it.
But I bet it would be one hell of a showdown to watch.
“Who was the lucky soul that got a surprise visit from you?” Carlos smiles and dimples appear on his cheeks.
Cute!
‘I’m pregnant.” I blurt out.
“You okay?” Sanz asks.
“Honestly, I'm freaking the fuck out.” I sigh. “I want children but.. I'm not ready right now.”
“I’ve had cases where women feel they aren’t ready and terminate without batting an eye.”
“No, I'll never... I could never do that.” I snap.
“I've also had many cases where women feel they aren’t ready, they freak out through their entire pregnancy and when they finally give birth.” Carlos pauses and smiles sweetly. “They cry tears of joy and thank their baby for choosing them.”
“Oh,” I say, feeling embarrassed for snapping at him.
“Your baby you are carrying chose you. That baby.” He points to my belly. “Is bonding to you as we speak, your baby is a part of your life whether you chose to keep him or terminate. The memory will forever be ingrained in your mind.”
His voice holds so much tenderness, it melts part of my heart
“I’m worried about Lucas reaction,” I say to them and they both sit there, nodding their heads.
“Our relationship is complicated, I don’t want to be tied to Luca just because I’m pregnant.”
“ Then don’t. No one can make you do anything you don’t want to do Nessa. But, it’s up to you to make that stand and stick by your word. Sanz reaches across the table and lightly pats my hand.
“Who’s your doctor?” Carlos asks.
“Keri. She’s a family friend of Chrissys.”
“She’s awesome. A little high maintenance but you’re in good hands. She’s highly recommended.” Carlos says. “You’ll make a great mum.”
He stands from our table, tells us he needs to get back to work and how nice it was meeting me. We agree to grab a coffee the next time I come in for a check-up.
“He’s nice.” I smile watching Sanz.
His eyes are on Carlo’s ass as he walks away. In his defence, it is a good looking ass.
“I know, I think it’s one of the reasons why I’m so.. Attracted to him.”
“That and he does have a nice ass too.”
Sanz head whips around and he looks at me with amusement dancing in his eyes.
“Vanessa, were you just checking out my guy?” He asks with a massive grin flaring across his face.
“I was following your line of view when I looked at you. I just happened to appreciate where my eyes landed.”
“You and me Nessa, You and me.. both.” His shoulder bumps me and we both start laughing hysterically.
Sanz and I stayed and chatted for another thirty minutes before he had to go. He had me laughing in fits and at one stage I had to tell him to stop because I was seriously about to wet myself. A breath of fresh air he is. By the time we said our goodbyes he had me wanting to visit his homeland Samoa after telling me about himself.
He was born in New Zealand, his mothers from Apia and his father from Savai’i. His father chased his mother around Samoa and followed her to New Zealand. It took him two years to convince her to go out with him, six months to marry him and Thirteen months to get her pregnant with Sanzs older brother Fetu. There's four of them altogether. Fetu, Sanz, Mathias and Lilli. Not long after the sister was born, his father started to physically and verbally abuse his mother.
“Wounds heal and eventually disappear. But words... they stick around forever and emotionally break you by believing all the hurtful things you've been called or accused of. It’s like a broken record repeating itself constantly” He said with intense agony surrounding him.
“The same goes for beaten women. The men eventually beat them down so bad that there is nothing left but a damaged and empty vessel of their being. They suffer physically, mentally and emotionally. Where the only way for most of these beaten women to escape out of a devil fuelled relationship is by death.”
His mother had tried to commit suicide when he was fourteen years old. The stories about his mother suffering from domestic Violence by his fathers' hands were hard to hear. There were many times he could recall watching his fathers hands wrapped around her delicate neck in a vice-like grip, slowly watching the light in her eyes fade and tears streaming down her face before his father would let go and repeat his actions.
Those were the memories he wished he could have erased from his mind; half the time he wished his father would finish her torment and finally put an end to her life so maybe, just maybe she could be given the chance to find peace and happiness on the other side. He was the master of deceit, nobody could see the monster that lurked between the shadows of his home, the monster that made everyday living insufferable, the same monster he was forced to live with and address as a father.
People only saw the façade he prospered pulling over their eyes. A hard-working, devoted husband and father, a husband that endlessly showed affection towards his wife and would shout from the rooftops confessing his love for her in crowded gatherings. But what they were too blind to see was that behind closed doors the only love his father showed towards his mum was the passionate love he had for turning her beautiful brown skin into multiple shades of blue, black and his ultimate favourite green. He used her as his punching bag, it was during those rough and difficult times he strived to be the best and be nothing like him.
His mum had put on a birthday party at home for Fetu's Eighteenth. He recalls his father stumbling through the backyard intoxicated, slurring horrible things to everyone. He remembers the moment his mother stood up to his father in front of everyone, telling him to leave. His father went crazy and started throwing things around. He grabbed Sanzs mother by her hair and started dragging her back inside telling her she was going to learn her place and regret telling him to leave in front of everyone. Fetu put their father in the hospital that night and ended up in jail. He served two years, it ruined him. He went in as a gentle soul on his way to uni and came out a patched up gang member.