Now,
I have his phone number, but I'm skeptical about calling him!.
"Why can't he call me!."
I don't know what to do.
I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I want him to come to me, not to force myself on him.
I want him to touch me with all the love and passion. I want him to care for me like I'm his little tot.
"But how can I do that?. Maybe he isn't meant for me!."
I cry.
"Ourrrrr...!!. Grace!. Stop thinking about him. No man can make you grieve!. I'm a strong Lady!."
I hit my face with the pillow several times.
I roll on the bed.
The bed Andrew and I met for the first time. Unforgettable!.
Still swiveling on the bed, I close my eyes,
I feel his touch twirling around my naked skin, caressing every single part.
These thoughts get me hard. I place the bellow in between my laps and press it tightly.
Then,
I fall asleep without realizing it!.
.
.
A few weeks later,
"Joshua you have been working with us for about three months now and I appreciate your hard work, the way you changed.
So... so...hmmm... I'm promoting you to a new post as one of the receptionists of this vast building. You will be on the 2nd floor!. The office at the life just beside the lifter is yours!."
I happily declare
"Thank you so much!. I have a stable space!. Yet, Grace, you can do better!. Receptionist?."
He laughs at his promotion
He damn looks funny!.
"Ha..ha..ha..!. No, it's a big move!."
I give him a conny laugh.
However, he seems happy.
He unexpectedly moves to me and wiggles me out of satisfaction. More because he yearned to.
I remain stagnant. Embarrassing.
"Oh sorry, the baby!."
He shifts back
I remain seated on the chair.
"Yea!."
I nod at him with a weird look
"I need to celebrate this!. We need to celebrate this!."
With that, he gaily leaves.
"Count down on the alcohol!."
I scream as he leaves.
"I will try!."
He shouts back as he moves away.
Joshua and I have become closer since I came back from Berlin about three months ago. I have learned to know him and to understand him asual. He is a nice guy!.
"Andrew... Andrew...!."
I roll on my chair as my thoughts go to him.
I haven't heard from Andrew!. I don't know if he returned safely from his trip or not. He didn't border to get in touch, even to ask about the pregnancy.
It hurts!. And it makes me feel stupid!.
It's not easy at the office as well.
Whenever I enter this building, all staff members are stunned by my "fat belly". Their weird awful stare freaks me out every single day.
I wonder when I will ever get used to it.
I'm sure they are all like
"Hey, who is the papa!."
And deep within me, I'm just like "Fuck you all!. It's not of your business!.”
hahaha, I don't give a damn about what they think.
This pregnancy sucks.
Now,
I close very early from the office. An hour or more, earlier. Unless there is an emergency that I have to attend to.
.
.
In the evening,
I got back home very hungry. I check my kitchen and all foodstuff is finished. I check the fridge in vain. All I see is cold water. I thank the heavens as I perceive a container of milk.
"Iissshhh!!.."
It's fermented milk, I cry!.
I spit it out of my mouth.
”OMG!.”
I don't want to eat pizza or drive out of the house now. I'm exhausted. If only Andrew was by his baby!.
I helplessly plunge on my couch.
I on the television. It's all I have left.
"I want something chili, enough pepper!.”
I yearn for.
Then someone unexpectedly tugs my door and barge in.
I twitching at the unexpected sound as I get up from my seat.
I get relief!.
I move closer to him.
I perceive something behind his back, he hid it. I bend to peek!. He manages to move away faster.
"Hey, Joshua!. You got me scared."
I smile at him
Very excited, he nods at me.
"Guess what I have with me, here?."
He gives me a corny smile
I smile back at him.
"Hmmm....!."
I lift my head, with a finger on my cheek, thinking.
"Be fast!..."
He gets more anxious
"Oh, I can't!. Just say it... I hope it's food because I'm damn hungry!."
I fake a dismal face and seat back on my couch, hopeless. I know he will fall for it.
"Grace... You are cheating... Hahaha!. Okay fine!... It's Chinese food!."
He screams lifting the package.
He gets closer and perches by me.
"Wow!. You read my mind!. I'm extremely hungry!. I love you!."
I clench his face with both hands, I twist his face like a baby and I peck him on his jaw in excitement.
He remains, dumbfounded with his stare fixed on me. He doesn't say a word.
"Let's eat!."
I hit his shoulder with realizing his fix stare.
"You are right!."
He unleashes the parks.
I immediately grab one park and I start to eat.
We eat, chat, and laugh aloud.
"You must be crazy Joshua!."
I laugh at something he said.
"Kind of!."
He gives me a soft smile
"OMG, it's weird, oh!... Joshua this is weird!."
I promptly scream
"What!."
He gets worried about my unstable reaction this makes him restless.
"Calm down!. Don't shake, the baby is."
I smile at him, he smiles back at me and he gets calm now.
I hold his hand and place it on my stomach.
"The baby moved!. Listen!. He made a little movement."
I slightly lift my dress and he places his ears on my stomach to feel the movement.
His head is on my stomach now!.
"I can felt a movement but it's weak."
He keeps on, trying to get it.
"Wait, he might shake again!."
I am laughing now, his head kinds of tickles me. Yet I'm frightened at the weird sensation!.
"I feel it!."
He shouts, we both laugh aloud.
Then, someone barges into my house again!. Without knocking, again!.
When I see him, I shudder, pulling Joshua off my belly. As if I'm seeing a ghost.
Joshua can't comprehend my sudden change of mood. Until he turns and sees,
"Andrew!."
Joshua wonders.
"What is Andrew doing here?. How did he found out that I was here!."
Joshua keeps asks himself.
He can't believe Andrew came for him. Little does he knows Andrew is the father of my baby!.
"How did you find me!."
Joshua can't keep quiet so he voices it out.
Andrew is staring at me. And I at him.
One can feel the bitterness in his glance.
He glances at his fists, slightly cutting into his skin. He battles hard with himself to keep calm.
I notice it and it freaks me out!.