I stretch my body outward as soon as the last attendee of the meeting leaves the room. It was a long and endless battle between the pros and cons of accepting Mr. Kim Mori’s proposal. What made them doubt is the sincerity and purity of his intention. Because most of those high-ranked business magnates are the ones chased, not the ones offering deals.
It also looks suspicious to me, but knowing their story, I am also half-convinced that Mr. Kim only does it to please Yen. So that the people who don't know them well won't give Yen the impression that she chose him because of his money. So, Zed should fare well in the business to make them look equal.
Needless to ask, I knew he had a hard time convincing Yen to go back to him. I even suspect that he only won her again through the court's decision. If Zed's status would be so low, Yen won't stop feeling guilty for leaving him. And also because Zed isn’t someone easy to forget if I were in Yen's place.
A prolonged sound of the buzzer has me rushing to the door. I look at the CCTV monitor at the side of the door and see a delivery boy outside the gate.
“Who are you, please?” I ask.
“Delivery for Mr. Ramos, ma’am.”
I open the door and see a truck parked by the gate. Since the house was new and bare when I first arrived here, I presume these are house fixtures that Zed has ordered. I hurry to the gate, opening it wide for the vehicle to enter.
Soon, the delivery boys jump down from the truck, waiting for the driver to lower down the hydraulic ramp. I also get inside the house, picking up my phone to inform Zed about the delivery.
“Please tell the boys to handle them with care,” he says. I’ll be there soon.” His tone suggests that the packages are fragile and valuable.
I would have wanted to ask him what those items were, but since he said he’s coming over, I rather not bother anymore. However, my heartbeats quicken as I look at the three rectangular packages that look like wall frames.
“What are those?” I ask one of the boys who are about to climb to the ramp.
“Framed paintings, ma’am,” he answers, “For your living room?”
I nod. But the living room has framed paintings already. I wonder if Zed wants to replace it since they are still new. I let the boys take the frames to the living room, but Zed suddenly steps inside. I furrow my brows because I haven’t heard the sound of his car entering the gate. Did he fly over here?
“Ella,” he acknowledges me before walking towards me and planting a quick kiss on my lips. He shifts his attention to the boys right away.
“Bring them upstairs. I’ll show you where.” Zed then climbs the stairs, leading the way.
If those are for the living room, why does he have to take them upstairs? Maybe he's planning to change the wall frames in his bedroom.
I sit down on the couch, waiting for Zed to come down. About ten minutes later, I hear footsteps from the staircase. I look up and see the boys coming down, but Zed hasn’t followed yet. The discomfort I feel deep inside heightens.
“Thank you, ma’am. We have to go now,” one of the boys says, robbing my thoughts away from Zed.
I walk them to the door and watch them leave until the truck disappears. When I turn around, I find Zed already coming down from the stairs.
“Dear, I’ll be the one to close the gate,” he says, jogging past me until he reaches the gate. I go back to the living room, not waiting for him anymore. I don’t know why but I feel bad about the wall frames. My mind tells me that those are something he got from Mr. D. And Mr. D only has Yen in his mind.
“Come. I bring snacks for you,” Zed suddenly raises the plastic bag in his hand. He then reaches out for my hand and leads me to the dining area. He then hands the bag over to me and proceeds to the wash area.
I open the boxes and see green salads, garlic sticks, and thick ube-and-cheese quesadillas. There are also two tall plastic cups of yogurt and fruit smoothies. I smile at how careful Zed is in choosing food. He always sees to it that those aren’t high in empty calories, even on cheat days like now. Plain water, milk, and real fruit juices are the only beverage allowed in the house. Not even coffee – which I know he can’t live without. I’m sure he takes a cup at the shop, but not anymore in front of me.
“Where do you plan to put those wall frames? I’ll help you.”
“Thanks, dear. But let’s do it later when I’m free.” He looks away and that gesture tells me it's never going to happen.
“Landscape or portrait?”
His brows furrow and I sense reluctance in his reaction. “Can I not answer that?”
Suddenly, my face heats up in anger. And I can't tame my tongue anymore from leashing out.
“Why, Zed? I live under your roof. We eat together. Make love a lot. Or, are those just plain sex to you?”
“ Ella.” Zed seems startled by my reaction. Even if I said it slowly, he perhaps senses the pain.
“Is it so hard to trust me? That's only a simple question,” I continue. How much worth does a piece of marriage paper hold? I may not be his wife on paper, but in the short period that I’m with him, I am already doing the full duty of a wife.
“It’s because-”
“Because what I’m saying is true,” I say, finishing it for him.
“Ella, I don’t want to disrespect you. But there are things I can’t tell you yet.”
I let out a mirthless laugh, loathing at myself for being so foolish to expect anything from this relationship. There has been no commitment from the start. We live for the moment, but nothing for tomorrow.
“You’re right, Zed. Because we don’t have any commitment. What we have is only for the present. But our future belongs to the ones who own our hearts, right?”
Zed freezes as he stares at me. I don’t know if he’s hurt or stunned by the truth of what I said, but he looked surprised.
]“You may have already understood why I avoid women, Ella.”
And my mind was quick in giving the answers. He avoids women because he can never get over Yen. He doesn't want other women because there's Yen and only Yen in his heart.
The pang of pain overwhelms me that I can’t hold back anymore. I run upstairs, thinking nothing but his secret room. I know that’s where he hid the paintings. To my surprise, I see the wrapped frames standing by the way l across his room.
I take longer strides towards them, almost flying to where the damn frames are. And as soon as my hands reach them, I tear the wrapper open. Sadly, those are thin sheets only, on top of thicker wrapping sheets.
I turn around to get a knife, but a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist.
“Okay, Ella. If you want to see them, I’ll open them. But promise me you won’t run upstairs again. You may have forgotten you are pregnant."
For a moment, Zed’s concerned voice melts my heart. But seeing those tall packages by the wall hurts me again.
Zed releases me and I see him open a drawer. He then takes out a Swiss army knife while throwing me a glance. In a few seconds, the first canvas slowly reveals Yen in an oil painting. The soft contours of her angelic face, her gentle gaze, and her beautiful, naked body draw my eyes as if they are magnets.
However, those portraits also slice my heart. I finally know why Zed doesn’t allow me in his room. And the answer is that…in my absence, he still fantasizes about Yen.