Are you ready?" Dr. Mitch's voice makes us both turn in her direction. She's standing by the door frame, smiling at us.
"I guess, Dr. Mitch," Zed replies, and I hurry on the bed, aiming to lie down before she comes in.
"Slowly," Zed says, helping me fit into the bed. I'm tall, and the bed seems much shorter than my length.
"This way," Dr. Mitch says, and she comes closer and places both my legs on the stirrups. My legs parts wide, pulling the hem of my clothes upward. And before she successfully pulls the sheet and drapes it over me, I have already imagined my flower smiling wide at them.
"The bed looks short because your legs should be here," she adds.
I look up and see Zed standing an arm's length away from the foot part of the bed, just behind Dr. Mitch. He stands there, registering an anxious face like he's the father of my child. And for sure, he has also seen my grinning cunt. If only Dr. Mitch knows that he's not even my boyfriend...
"Now, let's get there." Dr. Mitch picks up the probe, squirts a KY jelly on the head, then pushes aside the sheet that drapes me. I watch her as she peers at my entrance before she pokes the tip of the probe on my vaginal orifice.
"A little uncomfortable but doesn't hurt," she warns, and I nod. I also see Zed's eyes on my core, his face cringing as he watches the doctor inserting the wand on my vagina.
Turning to the monitor, a black and white funnel-like view appears on the screen. Then, an oblong bean-like figure floats in a black semi-oval space.
"Here comes the baby," Dr. Mitch says, pointing to the bean-like figure. "And do you hear that one?"
My ears suddenly pick up the steady and firm sound of a beating heart. "My baby's heartbeats?"
"Yes," she says, her eyes beaming with excitement. Maybe, for Zed.
Hot tears sting my eyes as I listen to its rhythm, feeling a sense of pity that James can't be here to monitor our child's progress. Not only can't he be here for a short period, but the next twenty years, or forever. Because he has already shoved me out of his life the day he removed me from the guest list.
"This is the baby's head, hands, and feet. At 14 weeks AOG, the babies can already wiggle their toes. Lanugo also starts to grow all over their bodies…."
I no longer hear the doctor's explanation anymore. Instead, my thoughts are on how I will raise the baby alone. And on how he will grow up without a father.
As the doctor removes the wand from my vagina, she picks up some folded tissue paper and wipes the smearing sticky gel from my perianal area. But Zed draws my attention to him when I feel his hand brushing my tears away.
"Women always get emotional," Dr. Mitch says, noticing Zed's gestures, "but those are tears of happiness. So I'll wait for the two of you outside."
When the door creaks close, Zed walks over to the foot of the bed. He removes my legs from the stirrups first, then the drape. I guess the doctor is supposedly the one to help me with this, but because I get emotional, she suddenly forgets.
"Slip on your leg," he says, and I see him spreading my panties for me.
"I'll do it myself," I start to protest, heat spreading on my face again.
"Just hurry up. What is it that I haven't seen?"
I know there's no way I can win, so I submitted to his order. When I'm finally seated on the bed, Zed wraps his arms around me and plants a kiss on my forehead.
"Ella, it hurts to see you crying because I know how it feels. I've been there. But always remember, this too shall pass. Just be strong always."
I cry harder. Zed's words are uplifting, but he doesn't promise he'll be there for me along the way. That he can at least be a friend. It's still early, I know, but I have already liked his presence. And how he cares for me.
We return afterward to Dr. Mitch's desk. And when I sit in front of her, I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror by the wall. My eyebags are already swelling.
"You'll soon have your appetite back, and your vomiting episode is soon going to wane. So be careful about what you eat. Your baby gets his nutrition from you," Dr. Mitch advises while scribbling on her prescription pad. She then gives further instructions on the "dos and don'ts" of pregnancy.
"Any other question?"
I shake my head and smile. "None, for now, Dr. Mitch. I'll cross the bridge when I get there."
"Of course."
"I have a question," Zed suddenly butts in.
"Go ahead, Zed."
"I can't remember asking this before with Yen, but when is sex not safe for pregnant women?"
Did Yen get pregnant? Is the child the reason why Zed is still after her? I'm dying to know, but it can wait.
"When a woman has certain complications of pregnancy. But so far, Miss Ella's condition is good. So, you can have sex as much as you like."
Zed sighs like he's relieved, but the hair on my skin crawls. Why is he asking?
"Oh, why is that?" Dr. Mitch chuckles.
"Because I had one with her right after she fell in the bathroom."
I shift in my seat, holding myself from the overwhelming discomfort.
"If her bump gets bigger, a woman-on-top is one of the best positions. Just discuss those styles that suit you well."
Zed nods and looks at me as the doctor gives her suggestions. I almost can't help myself from giggling. How can Dr. Mitch look convinced by our game? And if she's really Yen's friend, she'll have something to discuss with her.
Zed takes me to XYZ's Coffee Shop after the consultation. One of his men greets us by the door, then leads both of us to a table. There are covered trays of food already; Zed apparently has this prepared ahead for us.
"Ella, just please start eating. I need to do something," Zed says as soon as I take my seat. He glances at his watch, and he looks like he's catching for an appointment.
"Sure. Go ahead."
I start placing food on my plate while Zed takes long strides toward his room. When he comes out later, I'm already done with my lunch while he's already in a business suit.
I gasp in awe at him. I already find Zed handsome, but seeing him now amazes me. He completely transforms into a man who looks like he has just stepped out of a magazine.
I notice a white streak at the side of his neck, so I stand up and look at it closer. He also stops and tilts his neck towards me. It seems like a shaving cream that has spilled into his skin. I reach out for my bag, pull out a piece of wet wipes, and scrub the smear.
"Is it removed?" he asks, turning to look at me, his breath fanning my face. I look away; he can't know I have learned to love his nearness. It shows in my eyes.
"Yes. Why are you dressed up?" I answer when I return to my seat.
He looks so clean and stunning in that Ermenegildo Zegna Bespoke Suit, one of the most expensive designer suits in the world. I see its embroidered logo near the pocket and in the buttons.
"I have an appointment." He places a few scoops of rice and a slice of meat into his plate before continuing. "I'll take you there if you like."
I watch him chew his food elegantly, and I can't help comparing him to James. He looks so perfect and upright in every way.
James is wealthy but has the bad boy appearance. He has lots of tattoos all over his body, and he grooms himself with extra earrings on his ears. He can afford anything in this world, but he only likes wearing stashed denim jeans and shirts. I even think only a few know the soft spot of James. One of them is my father and me.
In less than thirty minutes, Zed and I are already walking down the aisle. A long red carpet stretches before us, and four rows of seats are on each of our sides. I feel like I can't raise my limbs anymore as I glance at the sea of faces before us.