Ella's POV
My sense of envy overwhelmed me when I saw how Zed cared for Yen. I want to be loved freely like her and by a man who can freely be with me. Yet, it seems I am destined to be involved with a complicated man from a complicated world. That even our dates should be discreet as if I am the worst criminal in the world.
And now, James is in jail. He may have set me free, but his request binds me to him. I may not like to live a troublesome life – my father even made sure of that– but I can’t turn my back on him. He loves me, does great things for me and my dad.
Chances give me a huge favor. I met Mr. Kim Mori and his wife without any effort. Then, here comes his offer to collaborate with him, providing me the chance to invade his territory. According to James, Mr. Kim Mori doesn’t have a group of genius computer engineers, nor software designers. However, he has Dennis – the brain of all their flagship products. And my first task is to get to know him and win him over. If that happens, the victory will be James’ and mine. I didn’t have to kill physically, but I will be mutilating the source of their joy and pride.
“I don’t want a woman in my world, Ella,” this statement from Zed keeps playing in my mind.
For a fleeting time, I have considered using him as a channel to move on. He loves faithfully and wholeheartedly – a one-in-a-million trait to die for. But he shoves me away, killing my momentary desire to move on, to be happy, and free. He’s amusing – considering women as pests in her life – but desirable because he loves like no other.
Zed isn’t difficult to love. I know that – even if I have just met him a few days ago. He has a soft heart, a gentle nature, and looks that could turn a thousand heads. Looks that could make women fantasize about him and wonder how it feels to be kissed and held in his arms. Yet, he seems unaware of that. Yen – leaving him – makes him feel undesirable and doesn’t deserve a second chance at love.
The moment I return Zed’s ATM card marks the end of my communication with him. We will then come into our separate ways, a million miles apart from each other. We will be back to the kind of strangers that we were before he extended his help to me. And he will be back to his planned kind of life, and me to my revenge.
I can’t deny it, Zed is a perfect lover. After that short night of playing his game, I had wished I were the object of his eternal affection. It feels wonderful to be loved, to be a receiver of one’s martyrdom. But sadly, his eyes are for Yen alone, even if she can never be his anymore. He seems fixated, and I am not going to waste my time wanting those things I can never have.
I step into my hotel room with a heavy feeling. The aroma of the grilled fish still wafts through my nostrils, worsening the ill feeling I harbor deep inside. The sick feeling reminds me of my bitterness, of having to go through this pregnancy alone. I cry the whole night in bed until I get exhausted, and until sleep takes over.
Several hours after, the sun’s blinding rays pierce into my eyes, forcing them open. I look up at the clock on the wall across from me. It’s already nine in the morning; no wonder why my room gets flooded with a glaring, golden light. I have slept long enough, but my heart still feels sore.
Feeling a little hungry, I push the sheets away and get out of the bed. But as soon as my feet land on the cold floor, the room spins. I sit back, grabbing the bedsheet for support. But then, my need to pee forces me to stand up. I barely set my foot inside the bathroom when my stomach turns upside down. Draining my strength after three powerful urges, I slump on the floor.
The exhaustion stirs me emotionally, making me feel the sense of loneliness again. I then realize that wealth and abundance are not the keys to happiness and fulfillment. I may be the CEO of a five-star restaurant chain but my status doesn’t fill the void I feel inside. My thoughts then drift to James. If I am consumed by loneliness and depression, how much more does he?
The floodgates behind my eyes now open again, sending an endless flow of tears down my face. A searing pain tears my heart, coursing through my innermost chambers. I don’t know how long I have cried. I just let myself get lost in the welling emotion.
The phone then rings. I move my head to the side, glancing at the door. I’m not expecting anyone except the utility personnel, so I pull my knees up, resting my head on top. However, the ringing doesn’t stop.
I plant my palms on the floor, pushing my body up. Before I stretch to my full height, the world spins again. I drop myself back, closing my eyes. The sense of frustration overwhelms me again, feeling incapacitated, I cry again.
The door suddenly opens and I see Zed at the door. “Ella!”
“What are you doing here? You hate to be with a woman,” I sneer.
He stares at me nervously and I sense his fear for me. I realize he could be the one calling incessantly. Perhaps, he thought something happened to me when I didn’t answer his calls.
“Yen expects us today.”
Yeah, it’s always about Yen. She perhaps asks about me if I am coming, expecting him to accompany me.
“Ah, that. Give me a moment. I’ll be fast.” I rise to my feet, spreading my legs apart. The room still spins and that’s the only way to keep me from hitting my head against the floor. I pick up the showerhead, cleaning my mess. I’m so ashamed of my stinking self, but I'm caught off guard.
“But you’re not well. We can reschedule,” he says, looking at me with worried eyes. That look of sympathy melts my heart. Especially when he sits down beside me, gathering me close to himself.
“Why can’t I be happy?” I murmur in his ear, his arms holding me tight.
He doesn’t answer, but rubs my back, telling me he’s listening. It’s so comforting to know that someone is there to share my sorrow. And so I break down and cry, pouring all my heartaches in that bitter cry.
I don’t understand why. But I find myself confiding in him, telling him all my sorrows. He doesn’t give his opinion but fully gives his attention.
“Where is James detained?” he finally says something, surprising me further with his interest to know my story.
“In Japan.” His gaze suddenly freezes on me, like he knows James personally.
“Do you know him? James Mori?” I ask.
“Could be just the same name,” he says, and I nod. Mori and James are some of the most common names in the world.
______
“Miss Ella, I’m glad you’re here. I hope you and Zed can come up with a decision soon. But take your time. We won’t give the offer to others until we hear from you.” Yen says, curving her lips into a gracious smile.
I understand why Zed is crazy about her; she’s stunning and graceful, and apparently kind-hearted.
“We’ll let you know,” I say, giving my best smile. “By the way, Miss Yen, congratulations on the success of your business. You sure have powerful and genius manpower. I hear you’re soon going to launch a new product And I’m sure it’s going to rock the global market.”
“Actually, he’s not a genius, but eccentric,” she laughs and I guess she’s talking about Dennis.