He kept quiet for a while and said "I'm sorry, but I promised Remand that I'll keep you here and I'm not going to break it," he said sternly. His look said there was no room for discussion on his decision.
"How many days?" I asked, feeling defeated.
"Until he stops searching for you," he said,
"I know he loves you too much, I don't think he'll stop searching for you any soon so, In my opinion, you should get comfortable here, however, you're not going to leave this house any sooner," He said.
He loves you too much. His words echoed in my head for several seconds. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block his voice in my head screaming those words.
"He.doesnt.love.me" I said, pressing every single word while closing my eyes tightly.
I opened them and glared at him, "I'm going to leave this place in the morning, Try and stop me if you can," I said.
I turned and walked out of the room, I directly stepped inside my room and closed the door. I climbed the bed and pulled my covers over me. I didn't notice the tears rolling down my eyes; I don't know whether they are angry tears or a sad one.
Soon I found myself sobbing, my pillow wet with my tears. I love him and I also hate him, I feel sorry for him and sometimes I don't. I'm scared of how I feel, I don't want to lose him, but I don't even have him. All these Mixed feelings are confusing me and also hurting me. And there it goes again the heavy feeling in my chest when I don't feel any desire to talk or move. I can't even close my eyes and sleep. This process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. I can't hate him, and I don't want to love him anymore, but there is something about him that I can't let go.
All of a sudden I had a strong desire to listen to his voice for once. I wanted to hear him say my name. This feeling was so strong and the next thing I knew I was walking down the stairs and searching for a mobile phone or something. It was dark here, I can barely see anything here.
Suddenly someone turned the light on; I quickly turned to see Nikolai standing with his hands in his pants pockets. I stood still, he was staring at me and I was doing the same.
"What are you doing here?" He asked before I could answer his question. He cut me off by saying, "Don't tell me you came here for water, because this is not my kitchen."
I gulped and said, "I was searching for a mobile."
"Why?" He asked,
"I...I just wanted to hear his voice once," I said nervously while glancing over him.
He didn't say anything, Curiously, I looked up and saw him, watching me with something in his eyes. The look in his eyes was confusing me, what is it in his eyes, why is he looking at me like that?
He walked to me and handed me his phone; I quickly tried to take it, but he slightly pulled his hand back and said "do not tell him where you are"
"Okay," I said.
He handed over his phone, and I quickly took it from his hand. I with my shaking hands dialed his number and placed it over my ear.
**Ring**
**Ring**
**Ring**
He didn't answer my call; I was chewing my lower lip in tension. I tried again and no answer, I tried again.
*Ring*
*Ring*
"Hello," He answered.
My heartbeat started rising by passing seconds. I gripped the phone with my both hands,
"Hello?" He said, I quickly placed my hands over my mouth, to suppress my unstable breathing.
"Hello?...Venessa?"He said tears started rolling down from my eyes.
"Venessa Is this you?" He said, his voice unclear. It was like he was controlling himself not to cry.
"Please talk to me, Baby… Please, I'm sorry... please come back... please please say something…I love you Baby...where are you? say something Venessa!"His voice, I craved his voice. But the pain and worry in his voice made me feel that I'm the biggest fool in this world, Why did I leave him? Why? Suddenly I was guilty of leaving him; I regret leaving him.
"Are you safe? Please talk to me… where are you? Please tell me, I'll come and take you!" He pleaded with me; I couldn't control it anymore. I burst into sobs, and I quickly cut the call. I placed my hands over my mouth, trying to suppress my loud sobs.
(Sobs)
(Sobs)
Suddenly a strong pair of arms wrapped itself around me, I was crushed to a strong chest and his smell hit my nostrils, it was a very intoxicating smell. It reminded me of Enzo's body; I wrapped my hands around his waist and cried even harder and harder.
"I love him and also hate him for doing this to me…(sobs) please make this stop… please…it hurts."
I sobbed and sobbed, we stood there like that for god knows how long! I released him, immediately he released me too. I wiped my tears and looked up at him, his phone vibrated non-stop while I was crying my eyes out.
He handed his phone over and asked: "do you want to talk?" He asked.
I took the phone from his hand and with shaking hands, I answered the call.
"Hello… please talk to me," He pleaded, he was desperate to hear my voice. It was evident in his voice.
"Enzo," I said in my teary and raspy voice.