"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." -Aristotle
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The silver-haired demon's name was Ilyas. He helped her clean up, and they placed Zamiel on his bed. He looked dead, but Ilyas assured her he wasn't.
Irene mixed some herbs with healing properties and put it on his wound before bandaging him up. Now they would just have to wait and hope that he would heal.
Feeling anxious, she sat beside his bed, praying that he would be alright. She wanted to go back to Heaven and assure her that everything was alright. She never felt this desperate before. If anything happened to this man, her granddaughter would never be the same.
Irene looked over at llyas. She wondered why he let her stay if he knew it was Heaven who hurt Zamiel. She wanted to explain to him that Heaven would never hurt her mate and there was something else going on. But looking at his expression, it looked like he didn't want or need an explanation. He was the type to just follow orders and he wouldn't do anything besides what he was ordered. She was only there because Zamiel didn't order him to make her leave.
The one she might have to explain to would be Zamiel. Poison and a witch wasn't a good combination for someone who has been through what he had been through. How would he react if he recovered? Would he resent Heaven?
Irene shook her head. Right now, the most important thing was for him to recover. She couldn't imagine what Heaven must feel at this moment, knowing she hurt her mate and not being able to be by his side.
Did Lothaire really do this? She didn't know who to be more disappointed at. At him or at herself for believing he was better than this, when she knew he was very well capable of such things.
Wasn't that why she had decided to not be with him if he went back to his mission? He had told her the kind of person he became when he went there. He never hid that from her, and he had wanted her to be his queen and rule by his side. He wanted all of them to live there together and rule. But wouldn't they eventually turn out to be like him if they went with him? Wouldn't that mean accepting what he did or turning a blind eye even if they didn't join him in his activities?
Irene didn't want to live amongst or associate herself with people who did evil deeds. She didn't want to be one of them because she didn't believe that one could remain good in the company of bad people. She didn't want to abandon her morals and values and she didn't want to lose her humanity because according to Roshan, that is what happened when you went to the devil's world.
Irene had explained to Lothaire why she couldn't follow him, and he had seemed to understand. And he had explained why he couldn't stay with her, and she had accepted it. Now that she thought about it, they were fine when he left. Both of them had made their choices and chose different lifestyles where the other didn't fit in. When did things turn bad?
She didn't seem to recall the exact moment things changed. Only after.
While waiting for Zamiel to recover, Irene couldn't stop pondering on it. She was sure that she and Lothaire went separate ways with no bad feelings between them. She had felt sad that he left, but she hadn't tried to hate him, to replace the love she had for him, because she had no reason to.
So when did the guilt of loving him start which caused her to try hating him instead?
She shook her head. Maybe he was right, and she was thinking too much. After some time she had probably missed him and it became hard to endure a life without him, so she made up lies to make it easier for herself. She was disappointed with herself. Heaven was truly unlucky to have two bad grandparents.
She looked over at Zamiel and her eyes teared up. She prayed to God to at least save her granddaughter's mate. Heaven deserved to have more good people in her life.
Zamiel started coughing and Irene shot up from her seat and loomed over him. "Zamiel?"
He didn't reply and seemed to fall back into unconsciousness again. He kept doing that, scaring her and giving her hope every time he opened his eyes, but then disappointing her when he fell back like a dead body.
She could see that his body was fighting the poison and trying to heal. He was sweating, but his body remained freezing cold. He would tremble sometimes and groan in pain when he was awake.
Irene had never seen someone go through so much agony. She could see relief in his eyes every time he was becoming unconscious again. Relief that the pain would end and that he wouldn't have to endure it anymore. It frightened her of what this torture would do to his mind.
"Please, don't hate Heaven." She whispered even though he couldn't hear her.
The next time he opened his eyes, he moved his mouth. He was saying something, but she couldn't understand. She leaned over him, bringing her ear closer.
"He... Hea... ven."
Heaven. He was asking for Heaven. Was it in a good way or a bad way?
Suddenly his hand came up and his fingers wrapped themselves around her arm in a steel like grip. After everything he had been through, she was shocked by his strength.
"Hea... ven. Where... she?"
Oh no. From his tone, this seemed bad.
"Heaven… she sent me here. She is reall…"
"Where is she?!" He cut her off.
His voice gained its strength, but his hand loosened and fell as if he couldn't hold it up anymore.
Irene took several steps back to put some safe distance between them.
"Heaven. I...I... need... see her." His speech became sloppy again. He was loosing consciousness.
Irene slowly came closer again and before he closed his eyes, he said Heaven's name one last time.