"When they can't find anything wrong with you, they create it." - Unknown.
********************
Zamiel had survived, but he still had to recover. Heaven took care of him every day, feeding him, cleaning his wound and wrapping it in a new cloth. She combed his hair and helped him bathe. It was a strange feeling to take care of him, but very satisfying. Usually, she was the one to be taken care of.
Heaven knew that it was her presence that caused his slow recovery, but she didn't try to separate herself from him. If he wanted her there, then she would stay. She would make his slow recovery worth it.
The pain was worst at nighttime. He would wake up sometimes in pain and other times he would keep turning in bed. How stubborn, she thought.
If he had just let her leave for a few days, he would have healed faster instead of enduring this pain. The stab in his chest had almost healed, now. It was the damages from the poison that remained. Heaven knew how dangerous poison was, even for demons. But she didn't know it would be this difficult to recover from.
Her father told her about the pain of being poisoned. It was not something anyone would want to go through. Demon or human.
Since Zamiel came back from the brink of death, she saw a change in him. He seemed much calmer, and he had already been a calm person. But this time the calmness was clearly visible in his eyes.
His scent had also changed. Apart from the scent of earth after rain, there was another scent she couldn't recognize.
What was it, and what had changed? What happened while he was gone? She wanted to ask, but she didn't want to bring back painful memories.
Today, as she combed his hair, he stared at her through the mirror as usual. He talked less and observed more lately. At first she thought he was like that because talking pained him, but he remained the same even after getting better. Every time he looked at her, it was as if he saw her for the first time, but still recognized her.
His eyes were calm, but his gaze was intense. "You have regained some color on your face." She said to break the silence.
"Do I look better now?" He asked.
She looked at his reflection in the mirror. Did he even need to ask? He had a face that would make any woman daydream. Even now when he looked a little sick.
"Yes." She replied, putting the comb down on the dresser. "I need to look at your wound." She said.
He stood up and went to sit on her bed as usual, while taking his shirt off. Heaven followed him, then removed the piece of cloth that was wrapped around his torso. She crouched to inspect. Only a small opening was left, and it wasn't bleeding anymore. Still, she wrapped it with a new piece of cloth for protection. Again Zamiel watched her in silence while she took care of him. He was making her nervous.
"Can you lift your arms?" She asked so she could wrap the cloth around him.
He did as he was told. Not once did he question her, refuse her help, or not comply. He was like an obedient child. Doing exactly what he was told and following along.
He had become a bit thinner after the injury, and even though she tried to make him eat, he didn't seem to be able to digest the food, so he only ate small portions. The poison seemed to have damaged his stomach as well.
Once she was done, Heaven grabbed his shirt and helped him wear it. Again, he let her dress him, even though he had healed enough to do it on his own. She was glad that he didn't protest and let her take care of him.
Deep down she knew why he was being like this. He wanted to release her from her guilt. But no matter how much she helped him, it would never undo the damage she caused.
Her grandfather had come to see her a few days ago. It didn't surprise her that he came. She knew it was only a matter of time before he came back to collect her. She had asked him to give her more time. She wanted to care for Zamiel before she left.
She had been waiting for the right moment to tell him what she was planning to do, but she kept delaying it in fear of hurting him. Either way, he would be hurt.
If not by leaving, then by some other crueler way that her grandfather came up with. He threatened not only Zamiel, but the rest of her family as well. He had said "your loved ones". She had no doubt he could hurt his own family. He had already broken her to pieces.
"You smell different." She told him as she helped him wear his shirt.
"How so?" He asked.
"I am not sure, but you have got an additional scent."
"What is that scent?"
Heaven tried to think of what it was. It was like nothing she smelled before. It was warm, gentle, and soothing. It was colorful; she wanted to say. Strange. How could smell have colors?
"I don't know what it is, but it makes me think of heaven. As if you have been there." She shook her head with a smile. What a silly thing to say.
Something in Zamiel's gaze changed. He looked more serious and didn't find what she said to be funny.
"I have been there." He said. "I met my wife and my daughter."
Heaven paused. "You did?" It was hard to imagine.
He nodded.
"How?" She asked astounded.
He shrugged. "I don't know."
Both became silent. Heaven tried to digest what he said. He went to heaven and met his family. Was that when he was crying? He must have been so happy to be reunited with his family. Did he want to stay there and not come back? Was that why he was crying?
"How did that feel?" She asked.
"Overwhelming." He said.
"Did you talk to them?"
"Yes.I… I hugged my daughter." His face lit up when he spoke about her, but his eyes remained sad. "She isn't a child anymore. She grew up into a beautiful woman. Beautiful and kind."
Heaven nodded. She didn't know which part made her sad. The thought of him wanting to stay with them or the fact that he got separated from them again.
She didn't want him to die, but she didn't want him to be sad, either. "I am sorry." She said, looking down. She was sorry for what she did and for what she was going to do. She was the worst mate anyone could have.
Zamiel put his hand under her chin and lifted her head. "For what?" He asked.
"For wanting you to come back to me and separating you from them." Just to leave you. "You must have been so happy to see them."
He smiled at her. "I was happy, but I would be disappointed if you didn't want me to come back. And you didn't separate me from them. I chose to come back to you."
Tears stung her eyes. He chose her, but she was going to leave him.