"Direction is more important than speed. Many are going nowhere fast." -Unknown.
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Heaven went down on her knees next to her bed where Zamiel was lying and took his icy cold hand between hers.
"Zamiel." She called him gently, as if he could hear her.
He didn't move. He wasn't even breathing. Heaven looked at Ilyas. "What happened to him?" She asked.
Of all of them, he probably knew more about the death of ancients.
Ilyas looked down. "I think he is… leaving." He said.
Heaven tightened her hold around his hand. He must be in so much pain if he was leaving this slowly. She couldn't even tell how much pain because she couldn't differentiate between his pain and her pain anymore.
If he would only open his eyes once. She wanted to say some comforting words, tell him that she loved him and how the time she had with him had been the best time of her life. She wanted to tell him that she would keep him in her heart forever and strangely, she even wanted to assure him that she would be alright, so he could leave in peace.
Maybe it wasn't as bad as she thought. He would leave this world that only caused him suffering. He would be reunited with his family and hopefully be truly happy again.
Oh God. Was this really happening? Her heart tightened again and her head throbbed in pain from all the crying.
She looked at his face when she sensed a slight movement coming from him. "Zamiel?"
He didn't respond, but a tear fell out of his closed eye. "Is he in more pain?" Heaven asked Ilyas.
How would he know? She should be the one to know.
"I don't know." He said.
Another tear fell down. He was crying without moving or making a sound. Heaven tried to take away his pain in silence, but she felt nothing. There was no pain. There was nothing. She tried again, but it she felt an unsettling emptiness.
It was as if he wasn't there, inside his body. She couldn't feel his presence like she used to do.
"No!" She stood up, grabbed his shoulders, and started to shake him. "No Zamiel. No! Please."
She wasn't able to say goodbye. He couldn't leave without a goodbye.
Her parents came to her side and tried to hold her back, but she pushed them away and threw herself on Zamiel, hugging his cold body. "Please Zamiel. Don't leave me. Please." She cried.
Her cries were so loud they scarred her throat. The pain cut through her veins, causing her heart to bleed. Sadness drained through her, traveled through every cell in her body and caused every nerve to scream in agony. She never felt a pain like this before. It left her beaten and broken.
So this is what it felt like to lose someone you loved. Zamiel had already gone through this. Now it was her turn.
She kept holding him, resting her head on his chest. Her surroundings disappeared. It was only her and Zamiel and she couldn't let go of his body. She wasn't ready to let him go yet.
Heaven didn't know how long she had been holding on to him. Time didn't seem to matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore.
With her head resting on his chest, she suddenly felt like she heard a sound. A heartbeat. She stopped crying and listened carefully.
Yes. She heard it again. Another heartbeat. She quickly got up and turned to look at him. "Zamiel?"
He was still. Heaven was sure she had heard his heartbeat. Her hand went to his face, and she let her fingers slide over his cheek.
"Zamiel?" She called him again.
She held her breath, hopeful he would respond. It felt like forever before his eyebrows moved slightly.
Heaven's heart skipped. He was alive.
His eyebrows settled into a frown, and she saw his eyes move behind his eyelids. But he was crying again. Tears fell down his temples, and Heaven wiped them away gently. "Zamiel."
Ever so slowly, he opened his eyes until she could see his silver gaze. She smiled at him in relief, while hearing sighs of relief come from her family in the room.
Zamiel kept looking up. His eyes were void of any emotion, even though more tears fell out of them. They were red, like he had been crying for too long, even though he just woke up. Heaven wondered why he was crying, but she guessed it could be for many reasons after everything he went through.
She wiped his tears away again. "It is alright now." She whispered.
His gaze shifted, and his silver eyes finally met hers. He just stared. Maybe he wasn't fully awake yet, because she hoped he recognized her.
His lips parted, and then he uttered her name. "Heaven."
Her heart had endured a lot today, but the simple sound of her name coming from his lips closed the veins in her heart that had been bleeding.
"I am here." She said, taking his hand and holding it tightly.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. She knew he was exhausted, so she kept holding his hand and waited for him patiently. Meanwhile, she listened to his heartbeat. It was very slow and uneven at first, but gradually the rhythm got better.
Tears of relief streamed down her cheeks. She thanked God for hearing her prayers.
Zamiel's cold fingers encircled around her hand. He held her back, and she looked up at him.
"Don't cry." His voice was hoarse. "I am not… going anywhere."
"I thought you left." She sobbed.
He was quiet for a moment. "Maybe I did. I just remembered I had to go to heaven and you are here."
She chuckled through her tears, and he smiled. "I am glad you remembered." She said.
He turned away from her and looked around. Her family had gathered around the bed. "I am glad you are alright." Her father spoke.
Heaven could tell her mother and grandmother had been crying with her from their red, swollen eyes.
Ilyas looked alright, but Heaven knew even he had panicked.
"Lets stop crying and bring him some water." Her father said.