Chapter 58
“You can tell me and talk to me, Bria,” I said while directly looking at her, to her puffy-soaked eyes. I just saw her crying and I'm curious what's the reason why she cried.
"You know..." she began at the same time, she sighed deeply. I was just looking at her. I noticed her tears dripping again, so I felt something heavy in my chest. "... you know nothing, Pershey," she said, frowning at me.
What do I not know? What does she mean by saying that I know nothing?
"What are you saying, Bria?" I confusedly asked. She wasn’t looking at me and was still staring at the bed.
"Just leave, Pershey, please?" she begged while keeping her eyes on the bed.
“No, Bria,” I answered but she shook her head. What is her problem? Why doesn't she want to tell me? What's up?
"Pershey," her tone grew cold as she called my name as she looked at me. I met her cold eyes on me. "... you're so lucky," she said that made me confused. Lucky? I am lucky?
I didn't say a word and just looked at her as she pulled her hair towards the back of her ear.
"Even if your parents only come home once, they make you feel how much they love you and how important you are,” she continued.
I was silent as well as my mind. Bria is right. Even if my parents only come home once, I still feel that they love me.
What does she mean? Does she miss her parents? Is she crying because she remembers her parents?
“They love you so much, Pershey,” she said and suddenly her tears suddenly fell down on her face. I rubbed it as she held my hand resting on her cheek. It seems like her palm is hugging my hand.
Even if I don’t say a word, I want to tell and let her know that I’m here. Even though we often don’t talk or even though I often scold her, I’m still here for her. I am willing to listen to whatever she complains about. I want to reduce the burden on her chest. I want to hug her and say that everything will be fine too.
She looked at me as if that thought had a deep meaning mixed with bitterness.
She removed her hand from mine then touched both my cheeks which startled me, draw a bitter smile on her lips as she stares into my eyes.
"And your parents are lucky," she smiled then slightly parted my hair. "... because you love them so much and they have a child like you," she stopped and then lowered her head. I noticed her tears dripping again.
I heard her sob and I noticed that she was trying to hold back her tears.
I couldn't control myself anymore and I hugged her. She kept sobbing in tears as I caressed her back.
"Shhh, don't cry," I whispered while caressing her back. She continued to sob softly so I continued to stroke her back.
When she was a little settled, I slipped out of her embrace. I touched both of her cheeks then I smiled as I looked at hwr.
"We're just here, Bria," I said which made her smile so I widened my smile. "Don't cry anymore, okay?" She nodded while smiling. I got up to leave because it's only a minute and the pool party will start. After the pool party, there were 18 more shots and that might be the reason for my drunkenness but I won't drink much.
"I'll be right next," she said as I left. I turned to her and smiled when our eyes met. Even though there were tears in her eyes and cheeks, a smile drew on her lips.
I nodded and said, "I'll wait for you there," then left. I went down to the first floor and came out. I could hear the cheerful and lively shouts of the people dancing in the middle. I smiled as I watched the people around.
I was about to walk when Caleb approached me. He even put his arm on my shoulder and I noticed the intense energy of his body.
"Hi, Shey," he greeted before we started walking. I didn't pay attention to his arm. It's normal because we were childhood bestfriends. "How are you?" he asked.
“I am fine,” I replied.
"I thought you forgot about me," he said, suddenly laughing at me. I looked at him as I stopped walking and so did he.
His lips pouted while looking at me so I squeezed his cheek.
"Of course not," I said while squeezing his cheek. He just closes his eyes to what I'm doing. “You are my bestfriend, Caleb,” I added.
"Very good," he replied. "Let's go," he said so we continued walking. He held my hand as we walked. There is no other meanings in that because he is my bestfriend. We haven't seen each other for so long, so I'm excited to be with him again.
"I heard you joined modeling," he suddenly said.
"Who told you?" I asked. We sat down at our reserved table first. They don’t have it all yet. Caleb and I were the only ones sitting. They may have left or gone somewhere. Leighden and Draek are on the ground floor, dancing again. Iries and Fricks were standing on the side where the wines and fruits were. I did not see or notice Samuel. He may have left or he may have just gone for a while. He will let me know when he comes home.
“Fricks told me,” he said. I was next to him in the chair. My chin rested on my overlapping hands as both my elbows rested on the table.
"Fricks told you that I joined Pageant?" He nodded. “Yeah, I joined,” I said.
"Just trust yourself, you will win and you will be a famous model."
I smiled as I nodded.
"You want to be an artist, right?" I shook my head. “You said that you want to be an artist and model, right?” I nodded in response. "So you really want to be an artist?" I shook my head again. "You don't want to be an artist?" I nodded. "But why?" he asked.
“It's been a long time, Caleb. If I used to dream of being an actress, now I don't. All I want is to be myself, Caleb,” I explained. I looked directly to his eyes. “What about you?” I asked.
“I want to be with you,” he answered that made me stunned for a moment. He wants to be with me? What does he mean by saying those? Did he just come back to be with me?
I frowned slightly at what he said.
"Do you still remember our promises to each other?" he asked that made me shocked.
I am reminded of the promises we made to each other when we were children. We promised we would not part. We promised we would grow old together and we would never leave each other. We promised in front of the church that when we reached the right age, we would marry each other. I promised him that someday he would be my boyfriend. I promised to marry him.
How is that? How do we keep our promises? 8 years passed and 8 years we were not together and met. A lot has changed in 8 years. Many things have changed over time over 8 years.
How can I keep my promise that he will be my husband? How can I keep my promise that I will love him? That we will grow old together? How can I be fulfilled if my feelings for Caleb have changed?
We were children then. Even though we were young then, we learned to value and love each other, so we promised each other.
How can I say that I might not keep what I promised him before? He might sulk or walk away from me again when I don't keep my promise, but ... it's hard. It is really hard to force myself to fulfill those promises. I can't force myself to do that especially now.
We were young then, so I knew he would understand what I was going to say. We can still be friends.
"W-which p-promise?" I hesitatedly asked. My voice also cracked.
I did not realize that I was shocked by what he said and by his holding my hand. It seems like he's rubbing my palm.
His face was clear and a smile was drawing on his lips, then he said, "We were 10 years old that time when we promised to ourselves." I can feel him seriously and it seems like those promises of us are still alive in his mind. "I want to have a lot of memories with you now, Shey," he stopped to smile and I smiled too. "I want to be with you," he continued while seriously looking directly into my eyes. I was also looking at him and I could read in his eyes how he felt. I feel it with every word he utters.
But ... why he wants to be with me? What does he mean by saying those?
I was about to speak when I heard someone's clearing throat. When I looked up a little to look at him, Samuel's face was what I saw. He's smiling on me.
“H-hi, Samuel,” I greeted. He sat down next to me. He was with Draek holding wine while scrolling on his cellphone. Next to him was Leighden holding a bottle of soju.
I looked at Caleb first before looking back at them.
“I want to introduce him,” I said then pointed to Caleb. They all looked at Caleb. “He is Caleb,” I added.
“Hi,” he greeted them while waving his left hand and smiling at them.
"Hi, I'm Samuel," he greeted.
"I am Draek and she's Leighden."
“Oh — it’s time for pool party, guys,” I said then I stood up. “Enjoy the party,” I added. The pool party has already begun. Some were paddling in the water. There are lifeguards floating in the water. It smokes and bubbles like boiling water. It is just the best design but the water is not hot and it is not too cold.
I just stood there watching them. Lots of bathing in the pool. Some floated themselves and others held wine while the body was submerged in water.