XXVII
I wake up with a start, breathing heavily. What the fuck was that all about?
Sophie stirs next to me and opens her eyes. "What is it?" she asks softly.
I gulp in an attempt to calm down my harsh breathing, and I shake my head in dismissal. "Nothing, bad dream."
Rubbing my hand over my face, I climb out of the bed and Sophie frowns. "What are you doing? Where are you going?"
"I just remembered something." I reply shortly, checking for car keys in my pocket and fixing my clothes. Something feels wrong, and despite my care for Sophie, I need a few moments on my own. "I'll be right back."
I walk out of her room, heading towards the exit, and curse at my ignorance, running back to Sophie. "I love you." I tell her, her disappointed expression lighting up a notch.
Walking out of the hospital into the freezing air, I almost slip on the snow that has piled up during the night. "Fuck."
That fucking dream is making me freak the fuck out? Why? Why the fuck do I get so stressed out so fucking easily? It's fucking pathetic.
Pulling out a cigarette out of my pocket, I light it up, inhaling the smoke with pleasure. I'ts not that I'm addicted to it, it just relaxes me, calms me down a notch.
Now being able to breathe with a little more ease, I try to rationalize the nightmare. The kid walked like me, looked like me, but his eyes...
I pull out my phone and google 'baby eye color calculation', calculating the chances of a blue-eyed mother and a green-eyed father having a brown eyed child.
'Result: 50% possibility of blue eyes, 50% possibility of green eyes.'
I tighten my jaw, and forcefully push the phone back into my pocket. "It's google. It doesn't know shit."
However, the dream still doesn't stop haunting me.
***
"I really wish you could come home with me." I plead to Soph, but she doesn't want to listen. A part of me is extremely proud of what she's doing for our kid, but another part of me hates it, needing her by my side.
"I told you, Axel. I've only got a couple of weeks to go. I'm not screwing it up. You can come visit me when you're done training." she refuses once again, and I purse my lips like a child.
"You're right, you're right. I hate it, but you're right." I sigh, kissing her on the cheek. "Pray for my muscles."
She giggles. "I will. Come back soon."
Reluctantly, I leave her behind and make my way back to our house - I refuse to call it home until Sophie and the baby are there too. Coach is already waiting in my gym when I arrive, getting ready to make me hate my body.
I can't help but agree that I do need training, though. My muscles aren't as hard as they used to be, and I'm sure that I'll die in the ring when the season starts if I don't start training hard again.
"You're late." coach scolds me and I shrug, getting dressed in my training clothes and putting on gloves. While practicing at home, I usually don't put on teeth protector, and the bone has already been taken out of my nose.
"Sorry." I happily jog to my punching bag as coach shakes his head in disappointment. I can feel my blood beginning to heat up, my every cell excited to box again.
I've missed the thrill too much.
"Go on." coach says, holding the bag for me, and I start landing punches, my body full of adrenaline.
He smiles, pleased. "Now that's what I like to see."
***
My excitement is long forgotten after five hours, when coach finally lets me leave to go back to Soph.
"You better get your ass back here in a few hours, do you hear me?" he yells after me and I don't bother to respond. He knows I'll be back. I'm too scared of what he could do if I'm not.
I change my clothes in a hurry to get back to Sophie, but decide to stop on the way to get her flowers first, like I did yesterday. I hope she won't be sleeping when I get there.
"Roses, please." I ask the store clerk and she obliges, chuckling. I restrain myself from rolling my eyes at her, but I grab the roses away from her, careful not to touch her. By the way she's acting, she'd faint if I did so.
I don't mind getting attention because of my job, but I do mind it if it's this obnoxious.
I make my way to the car deep in thought, and almost accidentty step on a kid. "Shit, sorr-"
The boy starts to cry, and I open my mouth to apologize to him and his mother, but the air is sucked out of my lungs when I see who it is.
"Leon, watch it!" she picks him up in her arms, gettting a look at me now as well.
"Axel."
And then I hear a whisper.
A single fucking whisper that turns my life to shit in a mere fucking second.
"Daddy?"