XXXI
"Axel! What are you doing? You scared me!" Sophie sits up on the bed against the headboard and crosses her arms on her chest.
I stagger in, leaning with my hand on her bed. "Do you think I'm a bad person?" I slur with my words and a frown forms on her beautiful face. I notice that her hand is rubbing her tummy in a calming motion.
"Are you drunk?" she asks me in response and I shake my head but because it immediately makes me sick to my stomach, I stop doing that.
"No. Of course not." I move closer to her. "Do you think I could lay down next to you?"
"No. Go home and sober up." she's angry with me.
I don't want her to be angry with me.
"Pleeease, baby." I start getting into her bed and contrary to her words, she moves to the edge of the small bed, facing away from me.
"Are you mad at me?" I snuggle my head into her neck. "I'm not speaking to you at the moment."
God, she's so stubborn.
"Mhm." is all I can manage to say to her as a reply. "You know I love you, right?"
She shakes her head. "You stink because of alcohol."
"'I love you, too' would be nice, but okay." I tell her.
She sighs. "Why would I say it back? You won't remember any of this in the morning."
"You say it back because you mean it." I feel a pang of rejection. It feels shitty. I move my head away from her neck and lay on my back, staring at the blank white ceiling.
"You know I love you, Axel." she says, finally and I lift my head to look at her still facing away from me. There's this distance that's enlarging between us with each passing minute, and it started when I found out about Leon. I want to jump from my side to hers, but it's already too far away.
"Why?" I ask her, a question that's been bothering me ever since she told me she loved me for the first time.
"What do you mean, 'why'? Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know, because of all the shit I've done, generally and to you? How could you possibly love someone like me?"
She finally turns on her back, laying down on the side now facing me. I can feel her eyes burning into my skin. "How could I possibly not?" she finally says, quietly.
I can't help the smile on my face and I roll my eyes playfully. "I knew it was because of my looks. You are worse than men, Sophia Watson."
She giggles in a high-pitched voice, a sound that I used to despise in women, but one which forms butterflies in my stomach now.
"Are you still mad at me?" I can't help but ask again and she nods. "Definitely."
I lift up my right brow. "So you wouldn't mind it if I tried to make it up to you?"
"What do you mean?" she looks confused. I tuck her hair behind her hear and trail my fingers down her neck slowly, savoring the feel of her soft skin under my fingertips. "What do you think I mean?"
I trail my hand slowly further down. "I don't -" she gasps as I reach her sensitive nipples and pinch them lightly between my thumb and index finger. I lean closer to her and kiss the corner of her mouth, tracing my tongue along her soft lips.
My hand leaves the nipple and kneads her breast, then starts travelling further down, past her belly button. Sophie lifts her hand up to my hair and buries it in my curls, softly pulling on them as my lips enclose around hers and our tongues rub softly against one another. As my hands reach her private parts, she gasps and bites my lower lip, making me groan.
"God, Axel. I think there are security cameras in this room." she moans.
Of course there are. I had them installed.
"Mm. Hot." is all I say, knowing she'd freak about the cameras, even more so about the other types of security I made sure she has.
"Won't they see-" I shut her up by pinching her sensitive spot. She buries my head in my neck to sniffle her moans and I move my mouth to her neck, softly sucking and biting the skin just below her ear.
I slowly enter her with my finger, rubbing her insides in the way I know she loves the most. "God, Axel, I'm gonna come." she groans and I hum in response against her neck, feeling her tightening up around my fingers. She breathes out in relief, and I pull out my fingers, wiping them into the sheets, the wiping her into the sheets as well. I plant a kiss to her stomach, and by the time I'm done, she's fast asleep, looking like an angel.
I lay down next to her, knowing perfectly well I don't deserve her. Now I can only hope she takes the news about Noah well, though I don't see how she could.
What if I don't tell her? Never call Elizabeth and forget about them both.
I erase the thought from my mind as quickly as it came. I have a son. I am going to take care of him, like he deserves.