I was still thinking of going there or not. I can't also stop myself from being out of the world. I don't even know what to do or wear, but let's just act normal, okay? But should I wear a dress to look more formal?
"Mom, juice," said Steve while carrying a small glass of juice as he entered my room.
"Thank you, baby." I said to him, and I drank the juice. I put the glass on the other side and I hugged him as we sat on the floor.
I looked at the toys scattered on the floor and hugged Steve. Since he came, he has been my responsibility, and I haven't bought anything for myself because my income is enough for the needs of the two of us, and sometimes only enough for his.
I heard a knock on the door even though it was open.
"Come in. Christian, no need to do that. " I said to him, and Steve quickly stood up to cling to his brother Christian's leg, and I quickly took him to stop what he was doing because they might trip.
"I told you not to do that. You might fall." I said to him as I took him by the arm while squeezing his little nose.
"It's like you've been through a storm here. Ah, what's up? " He asked me to look at the toys that were scattered on the floor.
I don't know, but I feel uncomfortable around him, especially that day when Steve got hospitalized and that day at the pool.
"I'm sorry about my actions before at the hospital. I was just worried, "he said when we were both soaked in the pool water.
And I told him that it was okay that he was worried, but I was just too stunned that Christian said that to me, and he wasn't like that.
"Oh, finally you're seeing someone." Christian suddenly said
And I was flushed and couldn't even deny it.
"Mama, your face is red." Steve said, and I laughed nervously, burying my face in his little shoulder.
I'm not going to deny it, and I'm still feeling ashamed in front of Christian. I don't know if he wanted for this to happen, but why don't I seem interested in letting others know that I have a child, and for me, it doesn't seem appropriate to have a relationship, especially when you have a child with someone else. I don't think so, and I'm not a fan of it. I always wonder if he is fit for my child's needs and loves my child as his own.
I took Steve down because he wanted to go down, and I sat on my bed, where I put my choice of clothes. I don't know, I don't want to go, but I want to ask him if he really wants to help my son, or is he serious about providing scholarships from kindergarten to college?
"Shouldn't you be focusing on Steve more? I can be a father figure to him." Christian said
Which made me pause. I never thought of him that way because I only see him as a brother.
"I don't know. I just thought I'm not prepared for this kind of stuff." I said to him and hugged my knees, pretending I didn't hear what he said.
There was a long silence, and I didn't mind it even though it was almost 5 pm. I also received a message from Liam saying we should meet in front of the bar so he could pick me up. I don't know where he got my contact number, but I don't even bother knowing where and how he got it, and it was very obvious that it was him.
"I can be a father to Steve, if you want to be. That guy is bad news." Christian said
I lifted my gaze because I'm a hopeless romantic. I don't focus on such things anymore, but then Liam came. I sort of want to risk everything for him, but I have to really prove to myself that he's fit for Steve's care and also,
Depending on what negative thoughts my mind creates, that is what I will do.
"I provided so much for the both of you. Is that not even enough for you to see me already?" he asked.
I was just looking at him, and he was seated beside me. It's difficult for me to explain how I felt when he said that. There's a hint of fear and uncomfortableness that I don't like to feel. Yes, he was helping us and I thanked him for that. But I don't think of it or him in a romantic way, and I can't stand it, especially when it crosses my mind.
"How will you know if you're not going to give it a chance?" He added, and I didn't answer him, then changed the direction where I was looking at.
I imagined how Liam took care of Steve before at the kiddy pool area and how he smiled whenever he made Steve giggle, and that made me soft, but I shook my head and I thought it shouldn't be like that. I can't be swayed by rich men like him.
"I like you, Violet." Christian said, and I was shocked, but my heart was aching.
What is happening to me? But Christian is the most suitable father figure for Steve, but I don't like the idea. I only see him as Jenny. As a sibling
"Ahm.. Christian."
"You don't have to give me an answer. Do you want me to deliver you to where you are both going?"
"No thank you, Christian, I already booked a taxi. Thank you for the offer." I said, and there was a huge awkwardness inside the room, and I breathed easily when he left our house.
We reached the front of the bar and then a man approached us from afar, and I knew he was the one whom I should talk to. I was wearing a simple dress in the shade of royal blue, and my hair was tied in a messy bun. Steve was wearing kid jeans and a simple polo, and rubber shoes.
"You came," he said in a deep voice, and I just smiled, unsure.
"Let's go to Steve." He asked my son, who was holding my hand, to hold his hand.
I was surprised when Steve went with him and clung to that man's neck with his tiny little arms, and I didn't do anything. We just walked to his car, and I was surprised when he ordered me to open the back seat. even more surprised that there was an infant chair that was placed in his back seat. I thought that he was indeed prepared and tucked my child in the chair and closed the door. Then he pinned me on the side of the door and whispered.
"I thought you'd be alone." And that left me in awe, and he opened the door for me this time.
It's a good thing I bought Steve with me, so that I'll feel comfortable even with his sight. I still can't get the scene off my mind, and is Christian for real? Ugh.