Chapter 60
Since yesterday, a lot of things have gone wrong, and I decided to lie because I didn't want to let myself down again.
It was the only thing I could do to protect her and the one thing that would ease her concerns if I was absent from home for some time.
"I needed a change of clothes." When I moved my hand to the wreckage of my dress, she gazed up at me. Her eyes lingered for a while before she grinned broadly and hugged me to her chest, possibly unaware that my night had gone just as she had planned.
"My brother-in-law becoming the alpha king is unbelievable; there must be a ton of benefits involved—not that I'm just thinking about the benefits. It makes me delighted that you're content and that you've at last found love." Her words broke my heart, and as I watched her go on and on, I couldn't help but wonder if this was the last time I would ever see her.
Even though it was all based on a lie, I was relieved to see her happy one last time.
"I'll make you some coffee; it looks like you could use some before you go back to him—you and your king got kinky last night; I couldn't even bother to cover up the damage to your neck." She eased out of our embrace and padded into the kitchen.
My mother's hand trying to suffocate me flashed across my thoughts, and my hands moved to my throat.
Vera's inane babble at the back of my mind slowed to a pause as I hurried to my room and glanced in the mirror. Purples and blues from the pressure of her fingertips and deepened crimson from the blood that seeped from her tight grip left splotches across my neck.
I stumbled to the bathroom, gasping for air as I attempted to scrub the damage off my flesh. Vera must have still been a little too drunk to grasp the true harm, but I wasn't going to give her any more time to see it.
Her touch encircled me, inducing in me the desire to rip my skin apart. However, I refrained from doing so and tore my clothing to shreds, removing the dress from my skin and the melancholy solace of Derrick's jacket. I scarcely flinched as I made my way to the shower, where the water burned my skin before it got too cold. I stood numbly under the water while the steam piled up all around me. I remember feeling empty one moment and screaming into my hands the next.
There was nothing I could do to stop all that was collapsing in front of me.
By the time I emerged from the shower, my voice was raw and my skin tingles from the heat I'd forced it to withstand. In a hurry, I put on some pants and a turtleneck top to hide the jumble of bruises and give them more time to heal before anyone noticed. Before picking up Kyle's wolf pendant and leaving the room, I let my eyes rest on the dresser where I had left it the day before, feeling a wave of sadness over the memories of him.
When I walked over to Vera, she was still in the kitchen, cradling a mug of coffee. She looked up at me bewildered, unsure of what to do with the necklace, as I slipped it over the counter and let it rest next to her hands.
She was aware of the significance of this necklace to me, that it was all that remained of my brother, and that I seldom ever removed it since I had been left at the edge of her pack.
"What are you doing?" She scowled, scanning my eyes for anything inappropriate. Since everything about me was inappropriate, I decided to divert her attention with my emotions.
"I want you to have this." As I folded the necklace into her palms, she opened her mouth to say something, but I shook my head.
There was no room for discussion—I needed her to accept it. I needed to know that if Kyle came looking for me again and discovered Vera in my place, he would see the chain around her neck and reconsider his intention to hurt her, giving Vera the advantage she needed to flee.
Even though I was giving her everything, I still had to make sure she was safe.
"I can't take that; I know how much it means to you." I was far more obstinate than she could have ever been, even when she attempted to return it to me.
You need to know that no matter what happens, Vera, you will always be a part of my family. This is something I need you to have, so you know I'll always be here for you." We didn't cry together very frequently, but when we did, she was the first to break down in tears. Her eyes were full of tears.
You're acting as though we won't ever cross paths again. You can't get rid of me just because you found your soul match." My own tears began to fall as she took hold of my arm and pressed my hand to her heart.
"I know it doesn't, but I want you to have something of mine, and I want you to promise that you'll never take it off." We both smirked like kids as she nodded and wrapped the chain around her neck, paying little attention to my request.
"It looks better on me than it ever did on you." Her jest lifted the weight of gravity. "You really shouldn't be delaying your significant other for something as sentimental as this." At her words, my body tightened, and I pulled her into an embrace, holding her for longer than I ought to have. I needed her to find solace in our friendship even when everything fell apart, since she had saved me in more ways than she realized.
I felt like that little kid again when I said goodbye to her in our apartment. The girl, abandoned at the side of a forest after being thrust into a foreign world, cried out for the only people who could love her but were turned away. The impression that everything was rising to the surface and coming back to me in bone-breaking waves was pulling me down due to the unfamiliarity of my powers.
All of it was no longer relevant.
I was on my way to ruin, prepared to destroy both myself and the man who had merely desired my affection.
I was fighting with all of my might to keep my wolf from tearing through my flesh as she was raging against me. Derrick was the only person I felt secure with, even after my betrayal; even when he intended to hurt me, that was where I felt the most protected, so I had to tell him the truth before she could stop me.
I was buried in my thoughts and what may have been as I carelessly strolled into the woodland. Before I knew it, I arrived at the pack house, my pulse pounding from anxiety about what lay ahead.
I entered the front door without any trouble, but something didn't feel quite right. My stomach twisted as I made my way through the rooms and directly to his office. As I moved through the room, I could not feel his presence, and his faint aroma was beginning to frighten me.