Chapter 65
His comments caused something wild to ignite in me—something so savage and self-centered that I could not believe what he had said.
With a terrible desperation that I could feel deep inside my being, he was imprisoning me and using his touch, words, and eyes to beg me.
We shared the same fear at that moment: the fear that we would lose each other.
It was a chasm of unfulfilled desires, a life that would remain unlived, and a yawning gulf between us.
Instead of using his imposing voice, the wolf king had begged me to stay with his gentle words and his pack as an audience. Watching how he was staring at me, the shallowness of his gasps, and the passionate way he was clinging to me, I felt like I was melting in the palms of his hands. It felt like a rush on my skin, a build-up of warmth in my chest, and a strong desire that defied my desire to sabotage everything.
The reality was unfathomable; it represented the man who was in front of me and whom I would never want to let go of. It was a story of love, life, and sorrow. I wanted him to be overwhelmed by his desire to love, care for, and admire me in this way; I wanted him to realize that my existence would be meaningless without him, but we were headed down the wrong path, and my weak heart was fixated on the way he was staring at me.
I was the cosmos to him, but what would happen if it collapsed?
Which would have been preferable—leaving with a positive recollection or leaving with the knowledge that the lies you had been living were finally over?
In three days, I might write him a letter and ask him to read the lies I told while running away from him and from them. Perhaps being pursued was preferable to witnessing the light fade from his eyes when he realized I was a betrayer and lost interest in me. I knew he loved me because he had such a wide, open heart and had offered me everything, even though he had no idea that I would break it and create irreparable damage.
"Kylie." My back dug more into the tree trunk as he drew closer, his thighs pressing against mine.
"Okay." I barely had time to agree before his body melted against mine, pressing his face into the cleft of my neck with his palms against my stomach. Later, after he had inhaled my scent as though it were the only air he had ever known, his body fell against mine in relief, and I moved to grasp onto him as he fell to my feet.
He was performing some sort of act of worship while kneeling in front of me, and his hands were as immobile as vices against my hips, running down every part of me he could reach. I felt him, felt his lips against the material of my garments, and I forgot how to breathe.
Despite the fact that this was exactly the opposite of what I should have been doing, I pushed his head back to get him to look up at me again, and my hands moved in time with his desperation as he repeated what I had said.
I could hardly breathe when I saw the unadulterated emotion shining in his eyes.
I said, "We have an audience," sensing that the pack was staring at us from every angle. I had to change the direction that this was going. To prevent myself from feeling the need to self-destruct once more, I needed him to pay attention to something other than the way we were touching each other.
I was screwed when he stated, "They already know that you are mine, and I missed you."
I yelled as his hands moved up my sides, dragging me down with him and cushioning my body against his. I was breathing heavily, and the longer he continued to hold me, the less space there seemed to be between us. My wolf let out an impatient whine as our chests touched, and his hands felt heavy and hot.
I still held onto the fact that he had disregarded me earlier, even though this big alpha was acting all sentimental like it was nothing and felt so confident in his feelings for me that he wasn't ashamed to showcase them to his pack.
"It sure seemed like you missed me when you chose to ignore me and indulge yourself with another woman instead." I arched a brow, seeing a frown take root on his forehead and his nostrils flare. He was aware that I knew what he had done, that he had wanted to hurt me, even though it had nothing to do with Becky, and that he had approached her on purpose earlier.
As he moved, he pulled at my body, turning us so that we were leaning against the tree. He pulled me to his side, and I curled up against him. As we faced the pack, their eyes snapped away from us, and I looked at Becky, who wasn't happy with the way things had turned out.
"It's impossible for me to ignore you when you take up most of my thoughts, and when you were holding Edmond, there was only one thing I could think about." I inhaled as his hand slithered around my side and his fingers spread across my stomach. His obvious statement, "You are the only woman I desire to indulge," elicited a sigh from him, which caused me to feel butterflies in my stomach.
I moved my body to lay in his lap with my head against his powerful thighs, and he growled as I pulled away from him. I could feel his stomach muscles tighten with every breath and every movement. I glanced up at him, following the contour of his jaw, his throat, and finally landing on his lips.
"Indulge me then; indulge me like we have been mated for years, like those are our children playing off in the distance as we snuck away to try and get some peace." His darkening gaze on me caught my attention, and I thought I had pushed it too far until I saw the corners of his lips lift into a smile.
I closed my eyes to the sound of his soft laugh.
For a short while, we could act as though everything was ideal and that I had everything I could possibly want—a life with him, his love for me, and a small family of our own.
"Anything for my queen." I surrendered my body and my wolf to his words, which were like a gentle touch.
The sounds of the pack receded into the back of my mind as I focused on the gentle caress he was giving me. First, his fingers ran gently through the dark waves of my hair. Our mate bond was on edge due to this small intimate feeling, which tightened around us until it consumed our every desire.
As his fingers moved once more, patterning across my forehead and running down the slope of my nose, my breath caught. Even with my eyes closed, I could see how reverently he was observing me and how he was mentally cataloging my features. I couldn't help but wonder what he thought of my somewhat crooked and large nose as well as the dark beauty spot on the apple of my right cheek. However, as soon as his fingers touched my lips, all of my thoughts vanished.
My mouth parted, and a question on the tip of my tongue until reality came crashing down on us.