I let out an exhale as everything starts to go from foggy to clear once more and blink at the ceiling first and then look down my body to where he seems to have passed out. Completely confused.
I lift my head, panting and breathing hard to see where the hell he just went and freeze with shock at the sight before me. Coldness washing over me as I realise why he isn’t on top of me anymore.
Alexi is standing stock still, literally right behind where my attacker was a second ago with a murderous look on his face that makes all other fear I had for him pale in comparison. He’s looking down, and as I lever myself up to try and get up, oblivious to the way his men are charging in, like an endless sea of black, I gasp in disbelief.
He’s staring at the lifeless body on the floor whose head is sitting at a completely unnatural angle with his eyes wide, glazed in a hellishly horrible way and focused on nothing with his mouth gaping wide open.
He’s dead.
In a flash of a second, Alexi snapped his neck and now he’s lying on the floor of our office completely and utterly dead.
Alexi seems to blink himself back to the present and his eyes come to mine with the most unfathomable look.
‘‘Are you okay?’’ He sounds normal, calm, stable, and yet my heart hammering in my rib cage and eyes fixed on the dead person on the floor tell me this is not normal by any standard. I flinch when he shoves the body aside with his foot heartlessly and makes a path to get nearer to me. Recoiling in fear as he gets closer, and I realise he just did that in literally the blink of an eye.
I’m caught in panic and disbelief that I just saw him murder someone with his bare hands. I don’t know how to feel about him right now.
I shake my head, as I don’t know how else to respond, and stiffen when he sweeps me up off the desk in his arms and cradles me close like a fragile child at the speed of light, pulling me up to him and high from the floor. I don’t fight, just stay obediently still as he carries me to the door and puts me back on my own bare feet. Mico is by the body now, checking he really is dead I presume, and flashes Alexi a look of question and dare I say it irritation.
I get the feeling this is not how he normally handles things like this, and the eerie silence of his men in the room as they stand around waiting for orders adds to the tension. Everyone seems shocked that Alexi took care of the problem this way and despite feeling shell-shocked I can see the way they are looking at one another.
Even though he puts me down he still has an arm around my shoulders, sheltering me as his eyes travel my face, he lifts my chin with a finger to scan the marks and mess left behind from the ordeal. Oblivious to the obviously annoyed face from Mico and the questioning glances from his entourage as they move to crowd the lifeless man on the floor.
That little muscle in his jaw tightens, but he says nothing as he surveys the damage. He just looks angry and brooding as he pulls me close and gives me the first real hug I have ever had in my life. Wrapping both arms around my body and moulding me to him protectively and securely. I catch my breath and freeze awkwardly as I don’t know how else to react. No one has ever hugged me for any reason other than to get sex out of me. No one has been tender to me for any reason, ever, and I don’t know how to react, especially when it’s Alexi trying to be the consoling one, and despite myself, my body sags against him as I hug him back.
Creeping arms around that mass of muscled body and the dry eyes turn misty as everything that just happened comes at me from all angles. Forgetting my fear and numbing out what’s lying on the floor, I bury my face against his chest and let him solidly cuddle me, drawing strength from how it feels as tears begin trickling down my face and my body starts vibrating with the first stages of shock.
‘’Get the fucking guard in here … that bastard sat out there and didn’t do a damn thing. I can bet he can shed some light on who this was.’’ Alexi barks as he rests his chin on top of my head, squeezing me tighter.
If it wasn’t in the midst of this shit it would be a moment I might actually treasure. A glimpse of a real human, right after I saw the monster he can truly be.
Just when I think I can’t hate him anymore than I do, he levels the playing field and wipes it all away with being both my hero and my consoler.
My fight and loathing die in his embrace and I am just left a sobbing mess who needs him at this moment.