The next thing I had to do was see Matt. I took the bus to his flat. Saturday was
becoming more and more like a re-make of The Christmas Carol. Only difference
being, all my ghosts were in the present and if I wanted to sort out my future,
I needed to have faced them all.
'Before you say anything, Matt, I have spoken to Sam. Just now in fact.'
'And?'
'And, I'm even more confused and angry than I was before.'
'Come to the kitchen. I was just going to make coffee. You want one?'
'Love one.' I was aware that I was barging in on Matt's weekend but I felt sure he
wanted this situation sorted out once and for all too. His back was to me as he made
the coffee, he was singing something under his breath, I couldn't make it out.
'You don't mind instant?' He reached up to the cupboard and took out some ground
coffee. 'Or there's this if you want fresh.' He turned around and his teeth flashed
white against the dark stubble of his chin.
'Only if you're having it. I'm easy,' I said. 'I mean...'
'It's all right, I know what you mean.' He waited a beat before saying, 'Better find
the cafetière.'
It was in a base level cupboard. He knelt to get it and the back of his jeans gaped
and I could see the smooth skin on his lower back and the line of his underwear.
Not designer, like Sam's, but a lot more appealing somehow.
'Got it,' he said.
'This is so nice of you, Matt. I don't even know why I'm here really.' I lied. I knew
exactly why I was there. I needed to see if the spark I was feeling for him was more
than just sexual. I already suspected it was but I also needed to see if Matt felt one
too. He had not let on at all but if I was going to sort my life out I needed to be sure
it was the one I wanted.
What Sam said had rang true. The wedding was all his idea. Marriage was the thing
he talked about until it was what seemed to me to be our next logical step. Maybe
Julia saw that. Maybe that's why she kept asking me if I was sure. But then again,
maybe she just said that to get her hands on Sam because she wanted him for
herself.
Matt handed me a mug of coffee and, as I took it, my fingers touched his and a tingle
ran through me. Our eyes met for a brief moment and he turned away quickly.
I almost let the mug slip out of my hand.
'I've got biscuits. They're home made,' he stuttered. 'Not by me but from when
Mum last came over.'
'Great, thanks.' I watched him empty oat cookies onto a plate and watched his long,
artistic fingers arranging them before he looked up and nodded his head towards
the living room. I went first, wondering if he was checking me out as I walked.
I turned to look at him, just in case. He was smiling at me.
I sat in one corner of the sofa, him at the opposite end. I kept my mug in my hands
and tapped the sides with a ridiculous grin on my face. Then we both spoke at the
same time.
'How was Sam?' 'This coffee is nice.'
'No, you first,' he said.
'Oh, I was just making small talk.' I blushed. 'But, yes... Sam. The subject of Sam.
Well he's sitting at home waiting for me to make a decision. Do I forgive him or do
I give up on our marriage?'
'That's a big decision, Lori. And you're here because...?'
'Because I need help deciding?'
'What...me? You need me to help you?'
'Something like that.'
'But that's between the two of you.' He shifted uncomfortably. 'I can't tell you what
to do.'
'But I wanted your take on the whole situation.' I edged closer to him, leaning
towards his corner of the sofa. He put down his mug and sat with his legs wide and
his elbows on his knees, looking down at the floorboards.
'I can't tell you what to do, Lori. That wouldn't be fair.'
'On who?'
He turned to look at me and faced me head on. 'On me,' he said. I put my mug down
and edged closer still.
'Explain.' I gave him an encouraging nod.
'Isn't it obvious?'
'Nothing is obvious to me at the moment, Matt. Except one thing.'
'What's that?'
Out coffee flavoured tongues were entwined in a split second of his face coming an
inch from mine. My hands clasped his cheeks and he wrapped his arms around me,
pushing me onto my back and leaning into me. My head bumped the armrest of the
sofa.
'Sorry,' he said.
'That's all right,' I said, my hands on the tight skin of his upper arms. His eyes
darted towards the bedroom door. I nodded. We walked quickly to the bedroom
just as his phone started to ring. I looked back at it.
'Forget it,' he said.
In the bedroom Matt knelt down in front of me. He took hold of my feet and
removed my trainers. I held onto his back for balance and prayed to God all that
stomping here there and everywhere earlier on hadn't made my feet smell. He
looked up and smiled. It could have been him being polite about my feet or maybe
my shower had taken well. I'd never know. Next he lifted the bottom of my t-shirt
to get to the top button of my shorts. He undid it and pulled the zip down, lowering
my shorts to the floor so that I could step out of them.
He looked at the little ribbon heart on the waist band of my knickers and kissed my
lower abdomen. He pulled my underwear further down and let his kisses reach that
bit lower, his tongue up against me and making my knees weak. He was there a
good while and I was close to coming. He looked up with that precious smile of his
and stood, slowly, feeling for the bottom of my t-shirt and pulling it up over my
head. My nipples had already been standing to attention, waiting for inspection and
his hands started doing just that.
My arms draped around him, I pulled at his t-shirt which he obligingly took off
before guiding me to the bed where he sat, open legged. I slotted in between his
legs, his lips were breast level now and his kisses on them were hard and wild, his
teeth coming into play and causing a hot sensation between my legs.
I pushed Matt onto his back and unfastened his jeans, lowering them and his
underwear just enough. I straddled his hips and let myself down onto him until he
was deep inside me. I moved in waves on top of him, my head back, my eyes closed.
My orgasm came and kept on coming. I could hear myself almost singing with
pleasure as Matt grabbed my buttocks and thrust with such exertion we almost fell
off the bed. I flopped onto my back next to Matt. We looked at each other and were
both filled with a need to giggle. We did, uncontrollably, until it became a full blown
laugh. We rolled on the bed and kept on laughing until there was an urgent buzz on
the intercom in the hallway.
'Are you expecting anyone?' I asked him.
'Might be a delivery. I'll check.' Matt fastened his jeans. 'Don't go anywhere.' I shook
my head and crawled under the covers.
Only seconds after he left me, I heard Matt say something into the intercom that
made the blood drain from my body.
'Sam? What you doing here? Um... no... I mean...yes you can come up.' Then I heard
him press the buzzer and in seconds my stance on fidelity would be blown; my
decision about going back to Sam would be taken away, and the friendship between
Sam and Matt hinged on what would happen when he walked through that door.
Matt came running into the bedroom with my bag, the stolen incense and my
coffee.
'Stay here. I'll get him to come out to the pub or something and then you can go.' It
was a rushed whisper. I had no time to think. Only my eyes were showing over the
top of the covers.
'Matt, I'm so sorry.'
There was a rapid knock on his front door and Sam shouting: 'What you doing?' on
the other side.
'Just stay very still,' Matt said to me. 'I'll be as quick as I can.'
'Matt,' I whispered when he got to the door.
'What?'
'Put your t-shirt on.'
'Oh yeah.' He did and went to leave.
'Matt,' I whispered again.
'Yes?'
'Shut the door.'
'I will.'
I covered my head. This was not what I had planned. Not any of it.