Often we feel disappointed, upset, angry and indeed hate someone. But when we try to recall, we can't say where the mistake lies. Is it from the man's words or from his actions or perhaps the fault is even in ourselves? Because sometimes all those negative feelings come up not because we hate that person but we love him extremely much.
Someone once told me that the biggest regret of his life is to love and trust the wrong people. If only he hadn't put too much faith in the mistaken one, maybe now he wouldn't have suffered very much. But he also said that even if time brought him back, he would still love and trust the one..
Sounds stupid but he says that the pain he feels is a valuable lesson for him and for the person who has hurt him because not everyone is smart enough to realize how valuable a trust is. Instead of keeping it, some people ruin it.
***
In her magnificent room decorated with pink trinkets like a princess. Helena sits on her soft bed, plays with her laptop and watches music videos of her released favorite idols.
Helena tries to focus on the music video that's playing, but her mind keeps thinking about Natty's disappointed-looking face. Helena is someone with a high ego, and she always thinks of herself first. She couldn't understand why Natty was so angry and disappointed in her. Instead, she was upset that Natty yelled at her.
“Oh my God, I mean why would she yell at me like that while I'm just trying to make her calmer and feel better! No one's ever yelled at me like that, not even my parents. Alex may have said something rude and hurtful, but Alex never yelled at me like that either. She hurt my self-confidence so much!” said Helena, speaking to herself.
Helena tries to refocus on the music video that's playing on her laptop. She tried very hard not to think about anything else and just watched it. But still Natty's annoyed face and sitting only in her room with no one by her side couldn't get out of Helena's mind.
Helena knows Natty is always alone in her house because Natty's mother has always been busy working since getting divorced from her drunk father. Helena knows very well that Natty has ever hated her dad and also disrespected her mother, who never had time for her. Natty always felt left alone, and she was lonely.
Imagining Natty struggling because of her injured leg and not being capable to do anything makes Helena unable to stand it. Helena feels guilty that she just left Natty whereas she should have been able to do something for Natty. At least she can keep Natty company, so she doesn’t feel lonely.
“Yes, let’s just say I’m doing this for my wounded friend. Yes, I’m just doing good.” Helena’s murmur.
Helena took her little sling bag and grabbed her phone. She was going to go to see Natty at her house. But she remembers telling Natty’s mother, who was a PROSECUTOR. Helena knew Natty would never tell her mom if she was ill because of their not-so-good relationship. So, Helena calls Natty's mother because she thinks somehow Natty’s mother should know.
“Hello, auntie. Yes, it’s Helena. No, I just wanted to tell you that when Natty’s leg basketball practice sprained. But auntie don’t have to worry, Natty’s fine and I’ll take good care of her too. So, you have it easy. Yes, goodbye.” Helena said and hung up.
Helena then left with a thin smile on her face. She was happy enough that she hums while sitting in the back seat of her car until her driver realizes she’s in a good mood. But Helena doesn’t know what makes her so happy.
They just had a fight and Natty also looks very disappointed. Negative feelings also remain in their hearts, but Helena can’t stop herself from feeling happy because she imagines Natty’s anger will disappear once they meet. That’s because Helena knows Natty very well, and she knows Natty can never get angry for a long time.
Helena suddenly saw a pizza shop, their favorite place when relaxing after school. Helena then remembers Natty’s smiling face while eating her favorite cheese pizza at the store. Helena then tells her driver to stop and buy a box of cheese pizzas for her to give to Natty.
It’s funny how minds play with someone. Just because of a small fight she can remember memories she never considered important and never reminded. Those memories come back magnificently, as if they were precious memories. Yes, maybe a memory would be worth it if she reminded at the right time.
Helena arrives in front of Natty’s home. She then got out of her car while holding a box of pizzas. She wanted to surprise Natty with her arrival and her big smile, but she was surprised to see Gale come out of Natty’s house. She even saw Gale and Natty kissing on the doorstep.
Helena couldn’t say anything, she fell silent. Her pace felt heavy and her brain became empty. She can’t think of anything but hiding. But when she turned around, she saw Natty’s mom standing transfixed and looking very shocked. Natty’s mom is so shocked that she indeed wants to get to Natty, but Helena prevents it.
Helena didn’t want things to get messy, so she persuaded Natty’s mom to talk somewhere else. They sat in a restaurant nearby. They sat still for quite a while indeed the coffee ordered by Natty’s mom was no longer hot and Helena’s juice was no longer cold.
Helena kept looking at Natty's mother. To be honest she didn’t dare to say anything after she saw Natty's mother shocked face. She looks like someone who’s very depressed and can’t believe anything. Helena doesn’t know how to behave, she feels she needs to be more careful. She just doesn’t want to make things more chaotic.
“Auntie, drink your coffee first.” Said Helena, who was a little afraid that Natty would have a big problem from her mother’s anger.
Natty’s mother drank her coffee for a sip, and then she tried to be calmer by breathing. She’s trying to think of everything she sees by her logic and trying to make reasonable conclusions. But no matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t get a reasonable conclusion from what she saw. She then looked at Helena, and she saw her eyes shaking just like someone was anxious.
“Do you already know this? Since when?” asked Ms. Natty.
I found out about it last night, too. I was as shocked as auntie and I couldn’t believe this either. It’s shocking to learn that a friend I’ve known for a few years became a lesbian overnight. But you take it easy, I’m sure it’s only temporary. I’m going to prevent Natty from meeting Mrs. Gale, so she’ll forget about it and regain consciousness.” Helena said she tried to calm Ms. Natty down.